Ask Women on Yik Yak | How do you even talk to girls? My family has always been strict when it comes to relationships until a career so I haven’t talked to many girls my age in a romantic way. Now it seems like it is impossible, like it gets awkward. Any tips

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Ask Women 3w

How do you even talk to girls? My family has always been strict when it comes to relationships until a career so I haven’t talked to many girls my age in a romantic way. Now it seems like it is impossible, like it gets awkward. Any tips

Anonymous 3w

How do you talk to people you want to get to know in a non romantic way? I think being interested curious and invested in our lives along with some good banter goes a long way

Anonymous 3w

I’m right there brother, I’m snapping this girl and it feels so awkward but just be yourself and it’ll be good

Anonymous 3w

I've helped a few of my friends learn to "talk to girls". Generally here are the steps. 1. What do you want from men? 2. How do you talk to them? 3. What do you want from women? 4. What is similar about what you want from men/women what is different? 5. Looking back at #2 what ways that you talk can be re-used from men to women, what needs to be added?

Anonymous 3w

Do you talk to girls (not your family members) regularly in a non-romantic way? Or is the issue that you don’t talk to girls at all?

Anonymous 3w

I find that if a person is getting to know me as a person, I’m more interested in them. Asking me about how I spend my free time or what I grew up on as a kid. Like ATLA was my show as a kid and now it’s my moral compass as an adult.

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Anonymous 3w

I mean just treat us like any normal person. Romance might come up naturally or just compliment her.

Anonymous 3w

Talk to girls like how you would talk to a guy? Like introduce yourself say hellos all the same stuff

Anonymous 3w

Biggest lesson I’ve learned that will ease your anxiety is to stop caring about trying to impress someone so hard. Would you really want to go the rest of your life putting on a facade? If they don’t like the real you they shouldn’t be in your life to begin with. I wish I could word it better because this is the same advice I was always told but thought it was so corny and hard to follow through with. The anxiety will go away with age trust me bro

Anonymous 2w

Like friends! That’s how me and my bf met. Any good romantic relationships starts with a good platonic relationship (not 100% of the time but this is a good way to make sure you genuinely like someone).

Anonymous 2w

How it get akward

Anonymous

#6 3w

Next step is to go back through that process with the lens of "what do you want to give to X" instead of "what do you want from X"

Anonymous

#6 3w

It's not easy, but it's also not really that hard

Anonymous

#3 3w

No. I usually don’t talk to girls at all. Can’t even name 5 girls that I have talked to.

Anonymous

#6 3w

This is good. I think it’s just self confidence that I am lacking. When I talk to men, I know in my head that they don’t care about my flaws when we know each other in a deeper level. But it’s different for women. Women like to compare people (from my mom). They like to judge. I don’t know if that is true and no offense to anyone. When I try to talk to one, I can’t treat them like they don’t care. I can’t even look at them in the eyes for long.

Anonymous

OP 3w

I can do this with older women like my teachers but someone my age, I start to look somewhere else and then back. This goes on repeat. Also women stare at me so intensely, makes me self conscious.

Anonymous

OP 3w

I know I am not ugly but like I have some acne on my nose and that is what makes me lose confidence. Everywhere else I am clear. Maybe it’s also cause I ain’t tall. Just around 5’ 7 - 5’ 8.

Anonymous

OP 3w

Fair! But you may be skipping a few steps. Thinking about what a woman wants from you or does not want from you is super advanced. You might be skipping to calculus before finishing geometry.

Anonymous

OP 3w

Also how u even start a conversation? Start with Hi, Hello? When I talk to my friends, we don’t have to talk to converse. Like I can look in their eyes and I start to smile cause he looks funny or like I know he is going to say something funny. Maybe it’s cause we already friends.

Anonymous

OP 3w

No disrespect to your mom, but I think her comment is not really something to take as part of your outlook on people in general. She’s probably had to deal with some mean girl types, but women don’t usually “like” to judge flaws. There are some common differences between men and women, but if you think of women as a really different kind of human being, it makes things a lot harder.

Anonymous

OP 3w

As for women staring at you intensely, it’s possible that you’re taking their normal expression a little too seriously. But if they really are looking at you oddly when you talk to them, it might be because they are a) giving you their full attention, or b) confused, like if you seem anxious or they can’t read your mannerisms. I’m a woman and when my autistic side shows up at work when I’m trying to explain or ask something, people will give me the look you’re describing.

Anonymous

OP 3w

Talking with women comfortably is a skill that can be practiced though, so don’t be discouraged if it feels awkward now. People may be responding to your awkwardness if you’re giving that off, but that doesn’t mean that they’re judging you as a whole person.

Anonymous

OP 3w

For your question about how the start a conversation, I would apply what #6 said, but thinking about guys who are not your friends rather than guys who are your friends.

Anonymous

OP 3w

Something that may be an easier step is start a new friendship with a man. Document what you do and why you do it. Having an understanding of yourself is super useful for a lot more than just making friends with women. Famously: "Know thyself"