Ask Women on Yik Yak | Sisters the SAVE Act is your sign to NEVER give up your name. It erases your real family history, your identity (harder for old friends to find u), the name on your diplomas, and marks you as his property. If it were “romantic”men would do it too

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Ask Women 2d

Sisters the SAVE Act is your sign to NEVER give up your name. It erases your real family history, your identity (harder for old friends to find u), the name on your diplomas, and marks you as his property. If it were “romantic”men would do it too

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Anonymous 2d

PSA: women keeping their own name/passing down the mother’s last name in some way IS western tradition. In Spanish cultures mom’s name is always passed down one generation. MANY english common names come from using mom’s name as middle/1st name. HYPHENATE/MIDDLE NAME for mom and child is extremely trad. The Romans didn’t change their name, nor did medieval noblewomen. Joan of Arc’s mom kept her own name (Romée meaning pilgrimage to Rome). In modern France married women legally keep their names

Anonymous 2d

I mentioned this to my bf me he was pretty dismissive about it. As if I didn’t know what I was talking about

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Anonymous 2d

What’s your opinions on it being hyphenated

Anonymous 2d

I’ve already changed my name (it’s an absolute pain in the booty btw) but idk it doesn’t make me feel like property ?

Anonymous 2d

i want his last name but he wants mine

Anonymous 2d

i have no problem with taking my man’s name if he would have no problem taking mine/me keeping mine. it’s always a question i ask my partners and if they seem genuinely okay with anything or at least having a conversation then cool. my ex told me that women who don’t take their husband’s last name/only use theirs in professional settings weren’t proud of their husbands and refused to consider taking mine bc “what about his identity”. he’s an ex for a reason.

Anonymous 2d

My mom kept her last name and people have been rude about it (like saying she must hate her kids if she doesn’t want to share a name with her family or whatever) but she’s never felt like less of my mom for it. We have different last names and it’s totally fine.

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Anonymous 2d

the SAVE act just makes it so u have to have documentation of any name changes (like a marriage license for example) in order to register to vote. that’s the exact same thing that’s already required to get a drivers license and a passport.

Anonymous 2d

I don’t know what the SAVE Act is but I never planned to give up my name. It has never made sense to me and until it does, it’s a no. I actually can’t believe that women still do it tbh because what exactly is the point? I would be open to hyphenation but only if my partner hyphenates his as well. And my kids are either going to have my name or both of our names cuz why would I name children I grew in my body after someone else? There are a lot of “norms” that we need to change asap.

Anonymous 2d

I have my Irish grandmothers maiden last name and I plan to keep it

Anonymous 2d

Bf told me to keep my last name bc of this

Anonymous

#1 2d

I’m not gonna say red flag w/o context but I genuinely think most men do not care about issues that affect women only (unless it benefits their political agenda). Even ones that are “progressive” on issues like race/class/sexuality/what have you tend to care about literally any of these other issue more than sexism (even when they are also unaffected by the others

Anonymous

#2 2d

I’m saying Historically this was the reason. I’m not judging you but please encourage your daughters to at least consider keeping their own name

Anonymous

OP 2d

Are you against the same last name in general or just not for women changing their name? I’m just curious. Like what if a couple came up with a different last name to share

Anonymous

#2 2d

I’m only against taking mens’ name as default. I would not be against this in a world where everyone comes up with new names (now THAT would be romantic!) or if taking men’s’ and women’s names were both common, or hyphenating for BOTH people (VERY romantic right???) is the default. Also don’t really care what same sex couples do with their last name (although would still advise no change for anyone due to legal/professional reasons unless you really hate your birth family)

Anonymous

OP 2d

How would that work in later generations. You’d have to pick one eventually because people don’t commonly give out 4 last names

Anonymous

twirling_tornado 2d

From what I understand it requires you to have a real ID. I only got my passport so I could travel to see my bf. I don’t know anyone personally who has one. This requirement disqualifies a lot of voters in particularly red states. Chances are it will have the opposite effect

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Anonymous

#1 2d

It doesn’t “disqualify” anyone. like are we saying women are too stupid to keep a copy of their marriage certificate around? bsfr

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Anonymous

twirling_tornado 2d

additionally, you need records of legal name changes almost any time government records, taxes, and financial contracts are involved. so most of the time banks, insurance, property titles/deeds, employers, court records, and a lot of professional licenses such as nurses, lawyers, cosmetologists, etc will ALSO require documentation of a name change. this is not new.

Anonymous

#1 2d

Real id is required as of May last year separate from the save act. I’m unsure why this lie continues to be spread when you could just look it up

Anonymous

#3 2d

I think that’s a beautiful way to join two families when both ppl do it. Make sure you have lots of documentation though since it’d still be a change so you won’t lose the ability to vote (what they’re trying to do with the SAVE act)

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Anonymous

twirling_tornado 2d

btw another option is you can change your name socially but not legally. then u don’t have to deal with the extra paperwork if ur one of those people who assumes u will lose ur marriage certificate

Anonymous

twirling_tornado 2d

I’m trans and that’s what I’ve done with my first name for safety reasons

Anonymous

#1 2d

Find a more short-term way to show him you mean business. I’m trying to think of an example here, and this isn’t the same but here’s what comes to mind: I got some people who like to push boundaries, so I picked one (they cannot see the locations of family members who visit my house) and have stubbornly refused to budge and even called the cops on them. That’s a bit extreme, but if you have something you can do to show how stubborn you can be, that sets the tone.

Anonymous

#1 2d

If you can be predictable/stubborn about short-term things that are important to you, that gives you a basis to demand that people take you seriously regarding long-term things such as name change and marriage. Some people (especially non-deconstructed men) will still think that they can ignore your choices, but why should you care about that? You’ve set the tone, and if he’s too stupid to take your word for it, he can learn the hard way at his own loss.

Anonymous

#1 2d

My bf still has a lot of deconstructing to do… there’s a long story there that I won’t get into. Long story short, I’m in the process of taking what I’ve learned about humans and dating and writing a set of expectations and what I plan to do if they’re not met. Will simply give him the list and ask him to write his own list. Compare. Decide next steps. Simple. He’s witnessed my stubbornness firsthand and knows I mean business.

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Anonymous

#9 2d

oh yeah i have multiple trans friends who did that too

Anonymous

#4 1d

The kids could choose their preferred last name as they age if they want to drop the hyphen or start a new family