Aw, girl I get it. All my defensive rage goes to people who wrong others, but standing up for myself is harder. To keep myself out of bad relationships, I think of my possible future kids. I think, if I can get out of this now, they won’t have to deal with him. Or I think of how all my love and care could go to my friends and family instead.
He hasn’t seen me in 3 weeks gonna be 4 hasn’t tried to plan anything and says he hasn’t seen me bc he’s been “busy”, I started giving him the effort he’s been giving me but b4 that flipped his shit over something when he couldn’t even make time for me on my bday wknd like if you didn’t want to see me anymore just say that don’t say this and that without actions to match it.
He flipped out that I went out to dinner with my giant friendgroup and didn’t mention that guy friends would be there. (He didn’t even try to see me for my bday let alone make time.) At that time he hadn’t seen me in 2 1/2 weeks and had pulled back majorly when I had begged him to hangout. I would say I over-communicate things and I said I would make sure next time I would specify that and I have. But he said he wants to work on this still but has stopped texting me, etc. and has pulled back
If he’s getting mad at you for spending time with friends, he probably intends to isolate you from your friends, control, and abuse you. He might say something like “you should have told me some of those friends would be male”, but really it’s just an excuse. He’s testing the waters I think. Trying to see what happens when he pushes your boundaries.