Anonymous greenstrawberry 4w

Yeah I mean I love cooking, so I get and love that she loves cooking, so I hope she can be her best, I just think she need some feedback tbh

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Anonymous powwowwie 4w

I mean the thing is often she cooks for me when I come over after long day at work, so I’m not even there to cook with her. It’s super sweet she’s just the best, but I think she just needs to work on

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Anonymous OP 4w

Well if that’s the case then feel free to have a non-intimidating talk with her abt it. Does she put too much salt on it? Does it taste overcooked? If you guys have built a trusting, mutually respectful relationship, healthy constructive criticism should be fine

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Anonymous OP 4w

I’ve cooked for my man, he cooks for me, and sometimes we have hits and misses. “Might’ve put a little too much salt there babe” “Yea, you may be right on that”.

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Anonymous powwowwie 4w

Yeah that’s probably true. Often times she underseasons things and never really cooks with consistency. Like she’s not super consistent about how well done something will be for instance, or when she makes a sauce the consistency/flavor can be super variable. Idk she’s just not a good cook lol

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Anonymous OP 4w

That is something worth mentioning, especially if you prefer well-done beef for example. I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned this to her at all at this point. There are ways you can politely and even lightheartedly give her suggestions. But I do find it interesting you are more eager to jump it to her being a bad cook. Constructive criticism makes for better results. She COULD be a better cook, given that you communicate with her how to improve.

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Anonymous OP 4w

My personal experience is that my mother is a great cook, but never taught me how to cook. So when I went to college, it was definitely a learning curve figuring out recipes with no help. My first penne dish I burnt terribly because I kept the burner on too high. I wouldn’t boil it down to being a bad cook, just not knowing how.

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Anonymous powwowwie 4w

I know she could be a better cook, that’s why I’m asking how’s best to address it. And yeah I mean obviously she could be better, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t bad right now. It does take time, I’m just worried about hurting her feelings because I can tell she’s putting in effort and it’s a really nice thing that she’s doing, so I just want to be delicate about it is all

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Anonymous OP 4w

Well you tell her exactly what you’re telling me. “I appreciate all that you do for me, and the effort you put into your cooking, but I noticed some of the dishes you make could be cooked more.” It’s not as complicated as you’re making it seem. The only way you could hurt her feelings, is by telling her that she’s a bad cook. Which I don’t really see it as being a bad cook more so as things to improve. Mindset is important.

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Anonymous powwowwie 4w

You’ve reiterated quite a bit how bad of a cook she is, but never put in the honesty needed to help her improve

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Anonymous powwowwie 4w

I think that’s just semantics though. But you’re right, I’m just trying to be cautious. Thank you!

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Anonymous OP 4w

Sure, it’s semantics, but is currently affecting how you are interpreting this situation. You fear she’s going to get hurt because you believe something inherently hurtful (“she’s a bad cook) and trying to sugarcoat it in a non-hurtful way. The guilt is present, because you know it’s a hurtful thing. Whereas, a perspective shift in seeing it as an opportunity for healthy constructive criticism, you probably would have already mentioned it to her already and it would’ve been fine.

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