Anonymous #1 7w

hmmm…now just how to get them on. Thanks!

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Anonymous #2 7w

a little context- her and i are both virgins, and she’s very, *undecided* on what she likes that isn’t me giving her head/fingering her.

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Anonymous #3 7w

Omg tysm. very helpful. can we elaborate on sensation and painting?

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Anonymous OP 7w

She might not know what she likes yet, but there could be things she’s interested in exploring. I’d ask her about it if you haven’t already

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Anonymous OP 7w

Just communicate with her during it and make sure they are easy to take off if she gets uncomfortable

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Anonymous #2 7w

okay, Thank you so much

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Anonymous OP 7w

Play with different sensations. I start by just tracing patterns on my partners back. I play with applying more or less pressure and alternating between my whole hand and the tips of my fingers

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Anonymous #3 7w

that sounds interesting, thank you so much

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Anonymous #4 7w

Have a safe word that wouldn’t come up in natural conversation but is very easy to say in the moment. Stop shouldn’t be your safeword btw, it’s too short & it’s too easy to over look if distracted. If you’re exploring deeper into restraint such as gags make sure there’s some kind of impossible to miss “safe movement” that you two agree on. If you do explore communication and clear boundaries are two things that you both need to be really focused on. Enthusiastic consent is 👑.

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Anonymous #4 7w

Thank You so much, i’m not sure if we’re THERE yet, but i want to be. Very helpful

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Anonymous OP 7w

Just communicate and start slow. A slipknot is easy to tie, so are rope handcuffs (watch YouTube.) If you’re not sure if you’re ready to buy $10 rope off of Amazon (go with silk or cotton, personally I find the cotton unbraided best especially for beginners because its easier to untie without the braid.) You can also use a men’s tie or a scarf. Oh and I meant to say 1/2 inch rope. 8mm can also work just be careful when you go smaller because it’s more likely to leave marks if you tie it tight.

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Anonymous #4 7w

ok thanks!

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Anonymous #5 7w

NEVER use a belt it can cause major wrist damage.

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Anonymous #3 7w

Belts can be used just not for doorway stuff. They’re harder to cut in an emergency than bondage rope, ties, or panties.

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Anonymous #3 7w

This is true, honestly I’d recommend avoiding doorway/hanging stuff altogether as a begginner because it’s really easy to accidentally asphyxiate someone by tying hands over head. Stick to just the book boyfriend lean for doorways.

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Anonymous #3 7w

oops mb!!😭😭 im not rlly too educated on bdsm culture/etiquette tbh, it was just something me and my ex did back when like we had to dress up nice for dates so i didnt realize how dangerous it could be. ty for letting me know!

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Anonymous #4 7w

WAIT GUYS I DIDNT MEAN DOORWAY AS IN HANG THE GIRL😭😭 i meant metaphorical doorway into kinky stuff

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Anonymous #4 7w

And as always, a restraint isn’t meant to hurt it’s just meant to restrict. If you’re tying something too tight that it hurts anything can cause damage.

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Anonymous #5 7w

I meant doorway as both. Belts are not as beginner friendly as people think they are

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Anonymous #3 7w

A ratchet belt should be fine for a beginner, especially a fabric one as long as the rigger makes sure they can fit a finger behind the latch (just like how you measure a collar for a dog) especially one of the cheap canvas ones. And it shouldn’t be too hard to cut in an emergency.

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Anonymous #4 7w

Investing in some safety shears that get kept in the bedside table (the kind meant to cut bandages) is a good idea, I’d recommend sticking with slip knots and quick release knots to just get the illusion of restraint, safely but especially if exploring more serious restraints (consensually obvs) you definitely need to prepare.

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