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Bf of 6 months wants to meet my parents. Both are strict immigrant parents and one is an alcoholic in recovery. I kinda don’t want him to meet them rn in their state but he’s so persistent. How do I tell him I don’t want to introduce him to them rn
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Anonymous 1d

I told him the situation with my mom and he still wants to meet them. He knows my address and said he’s just pulling up tmm since it’s a holiday and he knows they aren’t working

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Anonymous 1d

i totally feel u. a guy can meet my family in more formal settings like my birthday dinner or wedding day but i definitely don’t want to bring him to their house my family is not a nice family lol. i would totally break up with a guy for not respecting that. my family is dysfunctional i hardly want to be around them. and besides he’s dating YOU not your family. why does he want to meet them so bad ??? weirdo

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

not taking no for an answer is a huge red flag. if he doesn't respect your wishes and boundaries on this, when will he?

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

Bigger red flag she expects him to tolerate this indefinitely

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1d

she said "rn" not indefinitely, but thank you for your injecting your misogyny into the situation

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1d

“Misogyny”

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

Well it depends on what you’re scared of. Are you scared of your parents doing something awful? Or are you scared of him not liking them and/or hating your family as a result? If it’s the former, then emphasize that it’s for his and your safety. If it’s the latter, then you really should just let him have the chance to experience your family, and form his own opinions. You can’t shield it from him forever, and he should see the good, the bad, and the ugly if he thinks he’s up for it.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1d

Ngl I’m thinking of cutting off my family and with him wanting to meet them, I feel it’ll be more difficult to cut them off. Also I’ve had issues where old exes meet my parents then broke up with me. Not saying we’ll break up, but I want to introduce him at a one year mark or when things are more serious. Shit he just told me he loved me for the first time a month ago. Anytime kids or marriage is mentioned, he changes the convo

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

I feel 6 months is too early to meet parents but maybe that’s just me. I just want to focus on us then have him meet my parents when they’re in a better state and when he’s open and honest about a future of us

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

He’s not respecting your boundaries. You said you’re not ready. He should not be going against that.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1d

is it really that big of a deal if u don’t meet ur partners family? i’m dating him not his mom, dad, and siblings

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 23h

Jesus, this is why you will always be alone

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 23h

From the info in this post, I think it could be assumed that you a re the reason your family is dysfunctional

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Anonymous replying to -> #6 22h

0/10 not good ragebait

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 22h

I’m ngl 6 months is pretty standard. Not for you to introduce him as the love of your life or anything, but pretty standard getting to know the family. Also, I don’t understand how your bf meeting them would make it harder to cut them off

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 22h

“He’s dating you, not the family” I agree, but he’s marrying into your family too. You have the right to say that you don’t want him to meet your family, but he also has the right to be upset that you’re trying a hide a pretty important part of your life from him just because it inconveniences you

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 21h

Fr I doubt this same person would just be cool dating a guy who if they had kids would basically be missing an entire half of family permanently

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 21h

my family isn’t a “pretty important part of my life”. i see my family once a year IF that. i don’t think it’s a valid thing to be upset over. being CURIOUS about your partners family is valid but UPSET because you can’t see them is weird. i am supposed to be the love of your life. not them.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 21h

that would be totally fine with me lol. i’m not sure if i want kids anyway. i want to focus on getting my PHD and traveling the world 🌎

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 20h

It’s an important part of your life because it’s where you came from, who you were raised around etc. nonetheless, it’s still up to you whether you want your partner to meet them or not, but it’s also very reasonable that they would want to meet them. I’m just saying that getting married isn’t just about you two, it’s about merging your families together too. Hope you can find a partner who doesn’t care about that though 🤞

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 20h

Like I have a pretty shitty family too and I’m dreading ever introducing my partners to them, but I would. Because they’re my family, and my partner is someone who will also become my family. If you love someone enough, then you can concede the mild inconvenience of being around your shitty family for just one night to let them get to know each other

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 20h

a partner doesn’t need to meet your family to understand your background or the kind of environment you were raised in. those conversations can happen naturally. it’s completely reasonable to want to meet your partner’s family but if your partner isn’t comfortable with that, their boundary should be respected and it shouldn’t become a source of resentment. MY marriage is about two people committing to each other and building a life together. YOUR marriage is about your families merging.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 20h

disrespectfully love doesn’t mean someone has to put themselves in uncomfortable or emotionally difficult situations to prove their commitment. for some people being around family isn’t a mild inconvenience. it can be genuinely stressful, painful or unhealthy. you can love your partner deeply and still have boundaries around your family. relationships shouldn’t be about forcing someone to relive family dynamics they’re trying to protect themselves from. 😁👍🏽

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 20h

The majority of people would not entertain marrying someone who never introduced them to their family if the only reason was fear of embarrassment/judgement because the parents are drug addicts

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 20h

i don’t know where you got “drug addicts” from because that’s not my reasoning at all. can you post proof for your claim?

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 19h

You want a source for “most people meet their spouses family” are you slow

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 19h

i would like proof for “the majority of people would not entertain marrying someone who never introduced them to their family…” that’s not based on any research. that is simply your opinion.

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 19h

For every 100 people how many have never met an entire half of their family despite living with both of their parents who are married?

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 19h

i don’t think there’s any research on that, and i’m not going to make up a claim just to fit my narrative like you did. i also don’t understand how your question leads to the conclusion that most people wouldn’t marry me if they didn’t meet my family.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 19h

you’re spewing a whole bunch of bullshit

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 19h

Im asking you a question I want to hear your opinion. If you don’t want to answer that’s fine I’ll just take it as you conceding

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