Anonymous hellraiser 2w

Ok then why would such a person expect me to still do things like lead the convo and ask them out (and pay) if they don’t even know what they want

6

Anonymous OP 2w

Like they don’t know, then why get mad when I tell I what I want lol

1

Anonymous #2 2w

Figuring things out means they don’t know what they want. So why would I waste my time and money on a girl who probably doesn’t want a relationship

0

Anonymous OP 2w

don’t match with ppl that have that on their profile then

19

Anonymous OP 2w

Bc even women who want a relationship may singly not see it with you. The point of dating is getting to know ppl. If you’re more worried abt the date and the money you may to wait to date yourself

8

Anonymous hellraiser 2w

That logic applies to them too ironically

0

Anonymous #2 2w

I don’t think you realize what you’re saying have you ever used the apps? Like if they obviously are opposed to casual stuff, then they should put that they are looking for dates and serious relationships.

0

Anonymous OP 2w

I know what I’m saying. You just don’t want to date ppl unless you’re already dating basically. If you care so much about your poor money being wasted don’t date then. Bc even women that are ready for relationships go on dates and can potentially lose interest. Do you hold ur sane sentiment to taking them on dates?

2

Anonymous OP 2w

they don’t know what they’re looking for so they’re gonna match with anyone with differing dating goals to figure it out. you know what you’re looking so swipe smarter if ur gonna complain

12

Anonymous #3 2w

I don’t invite them over so that’s not why they are saying no in my case.

0

Anonymous #2 2w

Figuring it out really does not mean hookups that’s what intimacy without commitment options are for. You didn’t have to swipe in return if you don’t like what’s in their profile. It takes both parties to match

6

Anonymous OP 2w

casual dating is a thing. i’ve been on consistent dates with ppl and neither of us were ready for an actual relationship

5

Anonymous #3 2w

It’s like they actually want to be traditionally dated pretty much when they have things in their profile that suggest they will hook up

-2

Anonymous #2 2w

Women that are ready for relationships put such on their profile lmao

-2

Anonymous OP 2w

Is this your first time on an app bc you clearly suck at reading profiles and knowing what it means you just want excuses to shame ppl atp

3

Anonymous hellraiser 2w

I don’t see benefit in going on dates that will not lead to a relationship unless there’s more happening or she’s paying her way

0

Anonymous OP 2w

Yeah and they can still not want a serious one with you specifically after the first date. It takes getting off the app to truly know ppl yk

4

Anonymous OP 2w

that’s fine. just letting you know there are a lot of men that don’t see it that way and are still willing to be paying for dates.

8

Anonymous OP 2w

Okay then don’t go on dates at all you’re clearly not ready or mature enough to understand how dates work. I’ve been on dates to then realize we aren’t the right fit for each other specifically. Doesn’t mean I’m not ready for a serious relationship I just am not wanting one with that specific person

3

Anonymous #2 2w

If a girl who likes my profile has figuring things out instead half of her photos are thirst traps, I’m not going to look at her and say she’s looking for dates on the app

-1

Anonymous #2 2w

That’s fine, what’s not fine to me is basically already saying you don’t want a serious relationship and expecting similar treatment to girls who do look

0

Anonymous #2 2w

You are missing my point I recognize not all dates end in something that’s normal. But why waste time on dates that are practically guaranteed to be nothing

0

Anonymous hellraiser 2w

OP is complaining about being broke atp. I’ve never had a guy complain about a date bc we didn’t end up dating at the end. As long as we both had a nice time he was okay with it

7

Anonymous #2 2w

So are you going to read the words I write or are you just going to make your own assumptions. I have no financial struggles that doesn’t mean I’m wasting money on women who have no intention of anything

0

Anonymous OP 2w

Then why did you like back? You can’t start the convo In the first place unless you swiped in return you’re telling on yourself

9

Anonymous OP 2w

I have financial struggles too and I can still afford a $30 date

1

Anonymous #2 2w

So what’s your point? You can’t even afford to take a girl to lunch?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Bc how else am I getting to know ppl ya moron. Clearly never having a physical interaction with you is not gonna do it. Neither is getting in my pants

1

Anonymous #2 2w

I’ll ask again since I never got an answer have you actually used one of these apps before?

0

Anonymous OP 2w

I met my bf from a dating app and HIS profile says figuring out dating goals

11

Anonymous #2 2w

No wonder you’re so hostile you feel called out by the post. Like you’re actually self inserting “I” when it’s not about you 😂

-1

Anonymous #2 2w

I cannot speak on men I can only speak about the people I’ve interacted with and myself

-1

Anonymous #2 2w

Whats your explanation for this

0

Anonymous OP 2w

That doesn’t change your broke and cheap mentality. If you can’t even afford to want to take a woman out to get to know her bc “what’s the point if nothing comes out of it” but yet you’re willing to invite ppl over to hookup? And that’s free btw. Some reflection needs to be made. You’re trying to put this on women when you’re not being serious yourself or that wouldn’t even be a thought to cross your mind

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Called out how? I don’t date men that would rather hookup for free but can’t take me out yet they so desperately want women who want “serious relationships”. I wouldn’t take you seriously

11

Anonymous #2 2w

Yeah so you actually just aren’t reading

1

Anonymous #2 2w

Again “I” this isn’t about you but in your head it clearly is

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I always assume the “figuring things out” means they want a hookup but don’t wanna look like a whore so that term leaves options open lol

1

Anonymous #4 2w

Exactly my read too but the people here pretend otherwise

0

Anonymous OP 2w

Dude it’s clear from these online women’s lack of interest in meeting to hook up that you read them wrong.

6

Anonymous OP 2w

If they wanted to hook up, most of them could find a guy in their area without needing a dating app. Might be my neurodivergence speaking here, but surely there are humans out there who actually mean what they say

1

Anonymous OP 2w

She… misread your message? You said “I have no financial struggles”. Easy for eyes to skip over the “no”, especially if it’s in the same sentence as “I ain’t paying”, because that creates the expectation for the two parts of your statement to fit together.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

How much time have you wasted talking about this? You could have been reading about how gravity works or learning how to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your mouth. If these dating app women are a waste of time, just ignore them.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

If they are looking for a relationship then they would’ve checked the box instead of checking the other box. Simply put if I’m supposed to plan and pay for dates with a person who clearly stating they don’t want a relationship what benefit am I getting besides sex which they seem opposed to

1

Anonymous #5 2w

They continued writing multiple comments after about me not being able to afford dates it was clearly on purpose.

1

Anonymous #6 2w

Because they act as if I’m wrong for not wanting to waste time going out with a girl who doesn’t know wtf she wants. Be fr half of these girls wouldn’t go out with a dude who put long term but asks to hu. Same shit these girls are doing in the reverse

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Ok I hear you. Just put “I really want sex and will secretly hate any woman who contacts me for any other purpose” in your profile. It’s the honest truth. But I think most women would avoid you for it. I’m just saying, maybe there’s a little dishonesty to go around.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

id understand this if you weren’t at the same time still tryna fuck. like a date is a waste of time for you but having her over for sex isn’t ? she’d prolly view sleeping with you as a bigger waste of time than getting to know each other over a meal.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

do you not see any benefit in going on a date with a woman, spending time with her, getting to know her? do you even like women

5

Anonymous OP 2w

Have you thought abt the idea that what she wants may depend on the person, but to know that, she may have to actually get to know them?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

In life, not everything has to have some ultra-motive. Just enjoy life, form connections, and chill out dude

3

Anonymous hellraiser 2w

No I do not see any benefit in getting to know a woman who herself doesn’t want a serious relationship and also doesn’t want to have sex. I’m on the dating app to date not make friends.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

Again idk why we’re ignoring the fact the women in question themselves don’t want a relationship. So if they don’t want a relationship wtf else would there be go forward with, it’s a dating/hookup app.

1

Anonymous hellraiser 2w

I’m only treating her with the sex lens because that is how she presents herself when I receive the like in my inbox it would be a different story if she wasn’t

1

Anonymous #6 2w

That’s fine but I’m a man so I’m expected to put effort planning an exciting date and let alone paying for it. Why would I waste that effort on a woman who’s already telling me there’s a lower chance of anything good coming out of it. Versus those who say they want something

1

Anonymous OP 2w

If you corrected their misreading and they still “didnt understand”, they were probably gaslighting you or something

1

Anonymous #6 2w

I think dude has NPD

5

Anonymous #6 2w

Either that or he just spent too much time online and got bitter. But NPD would explain why he’s so transactional about relationships

1

Anonymous #5 2w

Where’d you do your residency?

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Clearly they want something. It sounds like they just don’t want it with YOU. After talking to you. Because after talking to you myself, I think you’re kind of a prick and I would not want to date or hook up with you

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Listening To Narcissists Babble Endlessly University. Real headache. Do not attend. But it did help me learn about this behavior. Narcissists are often quite transactional in their relationships, which certainly applies to you, and they have a tendency to blame others for frustrating experiences they have. And they also absolutely hate it when people see through them or have something bad to say about them.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

Don’t tell me you thought that wasn’t a sarcastic question. Like the fact I don’t want to engage seriously with women who themselves are either clueless or dishonest about their intentions doesn’t = npd. I’ve clearly stated multiple times it’s a different story if they stated they wanted a serious relationship in their profile.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

The fact that you’re still going on about this, and blaming your frustration on multiple strangers you met on a dating app, is evidence that it might apply. You have yet to show any sort of empathy or accountability, and your approach to dating is transactional. Based on the way you engaged here, it seems you just wanted a reason to look down on the women who didn’t want to date you or have sex with you after talking to you. It is certainly a possibility.

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Other possibility is that you spent too much time online and got bitter. That will also result in people acting like a narcissist online, but not in person. Either way dude, try to take some time to yourself and think about who you are and why you act the way you do. Self-reflection is a very useful tool in understanding yourself, and it helps free your brain.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

“Still going on” it’s the topic of the post and I’m reply to people speaking to me simple as that. What accountability is there to be had other than accepting these people are clearly clueless and or lying about their intentions which is why I don’t take them out and unlatch. Empathy? For who no one is being harmed there is nobody to be felt bad for on either side. Clearly they do want to date since they matched and got upset when I said I didn’t want to take them out so that makes little sense.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

And “look down” on like yes I’m going to look poorly on someone who cannot specify what they want yet expects me to invest in them emotionally and time wise. Same way you’ve decided to judge me poorly off a yy post ironic tbh

1

Anonymous OP 2w

*as a dating candidate

1

Anonymous OP 2w

I don’t want to revisit my residency any more, so bye.

1

Anonymous #5 2w

You mean the residency you never did since you never graduated med school

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Ability to dish out sarcasm combined with inability to tell when someone else is using sarcasm is another sign of npd

1

Anonymous #5 2w

Ironic

1