Ask Women on Yik Yak | Why do many women lose interest in me when I talk about my hobbies and the nerdy stuff I’m into? I feel like these days a lot of women say they like nerds and autistic dudes, but it feels like a larp. I’m not an incel or anything I just feel disliked

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Ask Women 1d

Why do many women lose interest in me when I talk about my hobbies and the nerdy stuff I’m into? I feel like these days a lot of women say they like nerds and autistic dudes, but it feels like a larp. I’m not an incel or anything I just feel disliked

Anonymous 1d

You’re talking to the wrong girls. Find some nerdy girls who share your interests! If you’re still having trouble, maybe you gotta brush up on your social cues a bit, you’re probably talking too much and not letting them get a word in :/

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Anonymous 1d

I can’t speak for women fr but personally bro ppl lose interest when they talk about things that are disinteresting. No one wants to hear somebody yap away about their fav bs hobby or whatever unless they already love that person. I recommend talking about ur interests but don’t do the whole Ted talk thing , keep it brief, and try to tie it back into the topic that all women find to be the most interesting , which is themselves. Everyone loves talking about themself.

Anonymous 1d

I’m a nerd and I love nerdy stuff. To them though it may just not be something they’re interested in. My friend has tried to explain soccer to me and make it seem fun but I never really connected with it. The same way me explaining my 8 ongoing D&D campaigns will bore others sometimes

Anonymous 1d

To clarify, I do have a positive opinion of women I just feel like so many women have been dishonest towards me. I have a fairly approachable personality, but I feel alienated for who I am.

Anonymous 1d

Interest learning must be an exchange. You need to learn hers too.

Anonymous 1d

Oh and another useful nuggie for you: learn body language. I learned it at 15-16 and now have a Human Behavior ™️ checklist in my brain. I used The Definitive Book of Body Language. Another useful thing is: have someone with you to bounce ideas off of and practice conversations with.

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Anonymous 1d

There are plenty of girls who love nerd shit, there are just plenty of LARPers like everywhere else. You just gotta find the right people, give it time!

Anonymous 1d

Why are you concerned about turning off women who aren’t interested in what you like? People SHOULD NOT CARE about turning people off by doing things and talking about things that they like. If she doesn’t like you talking about your interests, then she isn’t the woman for you, and you shouldn’t care about impressing her

Anonymous 1d

Yeah. I’m into nerdy guys but you can’t go mega deep into the fandom with some of us. Like I want a gamer who can build me a computer. But I am not a fan of anime and MTG like that. I’ll watch you play D&D if I really like you and your group but it’s not something I’ll obsess over

Anonymous

#2 1d

See, the odd thing to me is that those same people will say that they want a nerd. I struggle to understand what women actually want, and I can’t help but feel a little resentment (which isn’t good, but it’s natural). At the end of the day, I just want to understand what they like.

Anonymous

OP 1d

I mean I feel the same way with guys who say they want nerds. They don’t say they want gamer girls in cat ears and stuff which I guess is the thing some think of. Everyone has a different definition of a nerd. Some think it’s someone with glasses, someone with nerdy hobbies, or a person with a nerdy career. There’s no real definition every person seems to follow

Anonymous

#2 1d

Yeah I was thinking the same thing, people have different thoughts on what a nerd is. Truthfully, im being pessimistic. I just got out of a long term relationship with a girl who was very autistic and very nerdy like me. She wasn’t a fucking e girl, she was a genuine dork who fuvked with dinosaurs and planes and storm chasing. That relationship ended for unrelated reasons, so all things considered, I have seen success.

Anonymous

OP 1d

Well I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t interested in listening to me talk about my hobbies. Sorry your relationship ended but I bet you’ll be able to find someone else to enjoy your nerdiness

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Anonymous

#3 1d

This is big too, picking up on social cues that someone eyes are glossing over with disinterest like u gotta wrap it up lol

Anonymous

#4 1d

Also, if you’re infodumping some people in general are turned off by it. That isn’t exclusive to women, it’s in general.

Anonymous

#4 1d

I’ll give you an example of what “not to do” my university had a commuter space that I liked to spend my time in. So did some other nerds like me. This one guy who had a really bad habit of standing too close for comfort also had bad BO. Every time I wore a Marvel shirt he’d try and chat me up about a DC superhero by talking about how much he liked this DC superhero. No amount of grey rocking got him to stop. Eventually my ex talked to him & he stopped.

Anonymous

#4 1d

Frankly I think info dumping is adorable but only when someone uses it as banter & bothers to know my interests. I had an ex who was a math nerd. I learned math history through him and it didn’t bore me, but he equally knew me and listened to my rants too. I am on the spectrum though, this isn’t a universal lady thing, this is just a sometimes women with ASD like info dumping & some men who do it.