Anonymous #2 1w

“Decide” as in knowing you’ve done enough healing work to accept the better treatment. If you’re saying you’re hurt and have to ask it means you’re not.

1

Anonymous OP 1w

No I’m saying how can you, as the one who is hurt, decide if you’re healed or not? If you’re in a bad head space from the experience, how can you know for sure that you are actually healed, or you’ve just coped enough to feel normal again.

1

Anonymous #2 1w

If you’re saying you’re hurt and in a bad headspace that literally means you aren’t healed. Now if you’re asking how you can TELL if you’re healed or just coping 1) Are you actually willing to pursue this person or are you shutting down/self sabotaging/being controlling? = cope. 2) If you’re getting triggered are you able to articulate that, self soothe, AND accept support? = healing 3) Are the triggers gone or minor enough you can dismiss them? = healed

1

Anonymous #2 1w

If you’re just coping and not healed at all, most relationships you pursue are gonna end bad for you or them. But you can’t FULLY heal if you don’t put yourself in triggering environments and create corrective experiences from them. So if you’re in the middle/later state of healing and you’re READY TO that’s the best time to try.

1