Anonymous #1 17h

I do not have a prejudice against bisexual men it’s just women. And it’s because of mix of the patriarchy, how confusing, platonic and romantic feelings look and feel from the outside looking in, and this assumption of moral purity that women operate from

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Anonymous #1 17h

And I’m also not scared of them

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Anonymous #2 17h

Im also confused. And he tried to explain and I’m more confused

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Anonymous #2 17h

Where is the confusion?

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Anonymous OP 17h

Why are you biphobic like what are you trying to get advice on

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Anonymous #2 17h

It's hard to tell if a bisexual woman's friends are just platonic or possibly romantic. Given patriarchy, dating women seems safer than dating men, so her choosing men feels illogical…especially with all the academic critique of male-dominated systems. And since I've never seen scholarly criticism of women in romance, I assume they're morally perfect in that context. The advice I need would be to alleviate these concerns.

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Anonymous OP 17h

Most bi girls are more straight or more lesbian. It’s rarely 50 50. Becoming friends with them and actually knowing people before attempting to bone them or date them will help you weed out who’s more lesbianish vs who is straight but will make out with a girl if their single and drunk. lol.

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Anonymous OP 17h

DL and bi men cheat on their girlfriends with their male friends all the time, or if they’re not dating anyone they’re dating their friends on the DL. Someone’s sexuality and who they’re friends with don’t determine if they’re a cheater or not

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Anonymous #2 17h

I’m not dating men

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Anonymous OP 17h

I don’t think they was saying you were. They are saying that bi men cheat. Bi women cheat. That’s why you should become friends before dating. Knowing someone as a person is how you determine personality

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Anonymous OP 17h

I didn’t say you were, I’m saying bi women aren’t any different from bi men in that their sexuality or who they’re friends with don’t determine if they’ll cheat or not. You could date someone with 0 friends other than you and they could still find ways to cheat easily

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Anonymous #2 17h

What I'm saying is, I don't know if the comparison to bi men really lands for me, since I don't date men. Because of that, the whole stereotype about whether they can be friends without cheating isn't something I've ever experienced firsthand. So my own biphobia is much more specific to my personal history with women, rather than that broader, external version.

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Anonymous OP 17h

I think the thing you’re struggling with is cheaters in general. Bi people will cheat. Straight people will cheat. Men will cheat. Women will cheat. I am scared of letting my future bf get on discord chats with girls now because that’s how my ex cheated on me. It’s not a biphobia. You’ve been hurt by cheaters who just so happened to be bi.

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Anonymous #1 17h

I don't disagree with that. But I still think that there's a biphobia component there. Because I think that I won't ever be as good as a female partner would be for a bisexual woman

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Anonymous OP 17h

Hmmm. Well I still wouldn’t think that’s biphobia; I think that’s just insecurity. For example, I will occasionally call myself bi because it’s easier for me to accept physical affection from a female than a male can use females are statistically less likely to physically hurt me. So if I’m drunk I’ll kiss a girl before a guy. But I’d never date a girl. I want a trad family. No girl can give me that. SO, it goes back to getting to know them as a person and trying to let the fears of the past…

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Anonymous #1 17h

… dictate how the potential relationships of the future.

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Anonymous #1 16h

Well thats comforting

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Anonymous OP 16h

Yeah. I don’t think this is biphobia. I think it’s pain of the past and your making the only connections you’ve been exposed to. You’re just dealing with the human experience. You and me both.

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 15h

I understand and I do have female friends. However, this did not help. I do appreciate the response tho

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Anonymous #1 12h

I would second that insecurity point. You’re hung up on potential cheating and female friends potentially being a better option. But why is it with bisexual women specifically? I feel like you could make the same argument about a straight women potentially cheating with her male friends and her male friends being more compatible with her than you. Is there more to the story?

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Anonymous #4 12h

OK, so in my head, there’s two differences here ….women are more physically intimate with female friends and generally fear men. Straight women must simply pick the safest man, while bisexual women can choose between a potentially unsafe man or a woman who shares their experience and knows their anatomy…giving her a head start in romantic, emotionally and sexual pleasure. Men can learn, but given the choice, a woman seems the safer bet to me.

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Anonymous #4 12h

So cheating is part of the story for me, sure. But it’s more so me comparing my adequacy in partnership with a woman to a woman’s adequacy and partnership to another woman

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Anonymous OP 5h

You need to work within bc you have insecurity issues you gotta work through. You don’t feel good enough for her to choose. Work through why your subconscious thinks that

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Anonymous #1 5h

Yikes. Bi women like you are why I don’t waste time with bisexuals… that’s so sexist and heteronormative.

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