
Maybe itās because a lot of men reveal they are poly to women later on and arenāt truthful at first because they know thatās not what the majority is looking for, I mean most people donāt want to see their partner have eyes for someone else, we all want love, that being said poly is beautiful but only if all participating parties agree to it. There are too many horror stories of this and the hostility isnāt justified but itās understandable in some situations.
Many people, including myself sometimes, donāt like how oftentimes (or how itās represented a lot), it seems to be one group surrounding one person, usually a man. It seems a little creepy for lack of a better word. Popular polyamorous relationships online also seem to be quite young and quite messy, promoting a lifestyle that has no protections when problems arise. I think if I knew a polycule with everyone being 30+ I would not be as weirded out
Ive never actually heard of a real life polygamous group tbh, all the ppl in non monogamous relationships are queer and usually anarchist, hence not really believing in monogamy. I think there are def problems when there is an imbalance of power in any relationship but its def more obvious when its a guy with a whole harem. Can i ask what you mean about promoting a lifestyle with no protections? All the poly ppl i know practice some of the safest sex out of anyone i know
Also Iām ngl this is some shit that somehow āwesternā or more āmodern countriesā have positive takes on. Youāll never see survivors of abuse in third world countries be pro poly and this has mostly been used by men in a negative way and idk this is just some white ass shit tbh. Itās just my opinion but yāall take shit that you outlawed or colonized or killed people over historically and then become those things then act oppressed š like arenāt we all tired of youāre god damn bs.
These r some of the best criticisms ive heard of general acceptance of polyamory. Theres def a gentrification/appropriation aspect of monogamy/polygamy being enforced by imperialism while those in the imperial homeland get to practice polyamory as if its some hippie-invented revolutionary way to love. I think smth similar could be said about queerness (im thinking about two spirit ppl and nb ppl) but yikyak does not have the word count for the nuance needed for that convo lol
Omg thank you, like Iām tired of hearing white people who think their povs matter and make sense and never account for people of colors experiences like all this shit came from other cultures first and itās not always taken as a positive thing, itās often a form of oppression. This is an example of the limits of white feminism but people donāt see that. Be poly if you want just donāt make it a big deal and honestly I donāt agree with it cause of the things I have seen it do to women
But if yāall want it go for it just stop asking for attention. You guys love to take other cultures even if they are negative and apply it to yourselves and pretend to be oppressed. You guys live in a bubble and act as if everything you are going through is a big deal. It wasnāt a big deal when you destroyed countries like Iran, India, Pakistan, Africa as a whole continent, Palestine, etc but now you get to take aspects of their cultures especially lgbtqia issues and pretend to oppressed
Ya cause itās probably some white queer shit, youāre peoples activismās end when it comes to seeing other cultures and the negative effects also most common is the group is lead by a man despite what you have seen, also no matter how many protections you use std/sti transmission would be high so use protection no matter what. If your poly just be poly and stfu about it. There is a damn good reason why other cultures despise the practice and I suggest being more educated about this and safe sex
Idk dawg like i agree with the sentiment and esp the ways how white queers get a lot of privilege and dont use it to speak on how homophobia in colonized spaces is a product of imperialism. However like it feels like a stretch to imply polyamory or queer identity is stolen from other cultures wholesale. There are aspects tho fs. And like, queer ppl are def oppressed but i see ur point ab white ppl rlly clinging to that oppression like a badge
Ive heard of two poly relationships (explicitly poly btw), one all female/femme-presenting and in both, they introduced a new person into the group and someone got pushed out and left without access to supposedly shared funds. Iirc they all had saved up money to live their dream life and pooled it together, but because it was willingly given (???)/a gift, the person who got pushed out was no longer privy to it? One person was even homeless, I believe this was 2022 but Iāll research it again.
YES this is white people shit bro š i also think itās incredibly weird from a health perspective because encouraging multiple (sexual) partners at once continuously sharing bodily fluids just sounds so gross. Thatās why Iām big on monogamy, because I donāt feel comfortable sharing bodies simultaneously with others
Do whatever you want just donāt make it everyoneās problem you know? Thatās how I feel and Iām pretty sure no amount of protections can stop you from ever getting an infection, itās a risk so take it if itās something youāre interested but eh. Most of the poly people I know are in closed networks like they are a trio or a quad and no one dates outside that so people who date outside those networks make no sense to me and seem to just do it for attention and just to cheat
Yeah and i know like 10 monogamous dv victims including myself. Just cuz theres shitty people dont mean it was because of the dynamic right? I know hella monogamous relationships that went about as well as youre describing, like my parents are the only parents out of most ppl i know who are still together lmao
Listing your parents as a happy monogamous couple doesnāt refute that. If your entire defense of poly is ābad people exist in monogamy too,ā then you havenāt actually addressed the criticism of poly at all. Itās not just about what you see in a more western perspective try to see it in a different angle. Not every poly or monogamous relationship works. I donāt think anyone should promote poly since it is sexually irresponsible and technically normalizes cheating.
Its not cheating if everyone consents.... i also literally did address your criticism and thought it was pretty decent besides the sexually irresponsible bit. Obv its not the same as strict monogamy but id be fucking around if i werent in a relationship anyways lol, thats just like a difference in opinion/lifestyle and thats ok
This is very true, but I mean weāve come so far in society that victims of abuse or divorced people have protections. Sometimes people donāt get it or choose not to get it, but it helps a lot of others. As far as Iām aware, poly people donāt have that. This makes me think the dynamic, although probably very similar to monogamous relationships internally, is not externally protected. I think polygamous marriages are only allowed in a few states; what happens if you get pushed out like above?