Ask Women on Yik Yak | 🚨 NSFW 🚨 We hear all the time about “affirmative consent” but please be honest, do you personally REALLY want someone to ask if you’re down or would it kill your vibe? And where in the process would this happen?

Join communities on Yik Yak Download

🚨 NSFW 🚨 We hear all the time about “affirmative consent” but please be honest, do you personally REALLY want someone to ask if you’re down or would it kill your vibe? And where in the process would this happen?

#poll

Yes, please ask first

No, I want him to just do it

361 votes

38

23

⚒️

Anonymous 16w

No obviously I want them to ask. Affirmative consent is literally the only consent. Whoever initiates the sex has the responsibility to ask.

41

Anonymous 16w

Please don’t hate on me, I truly have no clue how it works and don’t want to make a woman uncomfortable

31

Anonymous 16w

My bf asks me before he does basically anything and to me it’s the biggest turn on.

20

Anonymous 16w

if he’s not my bf i expect him to explicitly ask every time. when i’m in a committed relationship with my bf i am more okay with him initiating without explicitly asking as long as he respects it if i shut it down

13

Anonymous 16w

Obviously if it’s a long term relationship he can hug/kiss/touch me without asking. But even before he puts it in he asks, “Are you ready?” And waits for me to say yes. For new relationships/dating I expect him to say, “is it okay if I….” And then either fill in the blank or gesture

11

Anonymous 16w

Just don’t make it weird. Mostly ask before you do something and do it seductively

9

Anonymous 16w

Personally I’m married, If my husband and I are in the moment and he’s just really turned on I don’t mind if he doesn’t ask bc don’t hate me but yes in that case it does kill my mood a bit. He does still ask me anyways most of the time though just because. But if he just outta the blue wants it then yes ask. Don’t just assume I’m okay with it.

8

Anonymous 16w

I mean in my relationship there’s been both like consent from asking first and then implied consent, like when he starts making moves and I start doing it back, but I definitely think asking a person first is a good idea

6

Anonymous 16w

PERSONALLY, in my relationship I LOVE when my man just wants me, he just comes on and starts kissing me or some shit and it initiates it, total mood killer FOR ME PERSONALLY if he would ask. again i’m in a healthy committed relationship and have been for seven years, it is implied, and if i don’t wanna do it at that moment i say eh not now and my boundaries are respected

5

Anonymous 16w

You can always get consent before engaging in activities- and have a safe word. This creates the best of both worlds. They can withdraw consent with a safe word, and the mood isn’t interrupted. But you can also get consent in a way that also fits the mood.

5

Anonymous 16w

Ask but ask in a seductive way, it’s the way they ask that either can kill the vibe or make it so much hotter

4

Anonymous 15w

If we’re relatively new to fucking each other, I want to be asked. If we’ve established some sort of relationship where I know I could say stop and you would without hesitation or judgement, I don’t mind just going forward without being asked. If ever you’re uncertain, just ask. It’s not that big of a mood ruiner

3

Anonymous 16w

Nah if I’m kissing them and taking off my clothes and he stops to ask I’m putting my clothes back on lol

-5

⚒️

Anonymous

mother_russia 16w

Once you’ve been together for over a year or so, you can much more reliably read body language and understand and plan out like “hey I’m going to drink later but I still want to have sex” and what not but early relationship? Literally you can’t do anything other than affirmative consent.

23

⚒️

Anonymous

mother_russia 16w

And as to when, while making out is normally the most convenient but sooner works too. Just break away from the kiss for a second and ask “do you want to have sex” and anything other than “yes/absolutely/mhm/please/(fill in positive affirmation)” is a NO

9

⚒️

Anonymous

mother_russia 16w

And this isn’t something that just opinionated. This is the legal definition of consent. Saying nothing or not stopping you is not consent. And even if a handful or girls think it kills the mood, it’s better to kill the mood than rape someone.

29

⚒️

Anonymous

OP 16w

This is about sex right?

17

Anonymous

mother_russia 16w

Yes and it has now been downvoted 😬

13

Anonymous

mother_russia 16w

That last part is certainly true

8

Anonymous

#5 16w

with all the obvious caveats that even with my bf i wouldn’t want him to just go directly for it, like if he starts kissing my neck i understand what he wants and i can either reciprocate or say i’m not in the mood

12

⚒️

Anonymous

#5 16w

Definitely! That’s how I feel about it too

3

Anonymous

#11 16w

fr though

0

Anonymous

#10 16w

Like if my pants on the floor isn’t enough for you then idk what to tell you

-1

Anonymous

#11 16w

Meanwhile I’m putting back on my clothes if he doesn’t ask. This is why communication beforehand is so important cause I feel like we all have different expectations

18

Anonymous

#3 16w

Okay yeah that’s what I mean though. If the clothes are off it’s not hard to drop a quick “let’s fuck”, I’m more looking for how to get to the clothes off part lol

1

Anonymous

OP 16w

If you’re already kissing/making out and feeling each other up you can say, “Can I…” trail off and then either gently tug at her shirt, pants, skirt, whatever

10

Anonymous 16w

Why else would I take my pants off lol, “ no we’re not having sex. I just wanna kiss with the air between my lips ”

-1

Anonymous

#11 16w

I sometimes hike my skirt up just for a fingering but I don’t plan on having actual sex with the guy 🤷‍♀️

4

Anonymous

#7 16w

Y’all are so pressed that I have a different opinion jeez. And that is a very similar situation I wouldn’t be giving you access of I was gonna say no

-1

Anonymous 16w

I’m the girl bro you can’t read apparently. You’re calling me a rapist cause I think getting naked means consent enough… I’m too employed for this conversation now

-2

Anonymous

#11 16w

If you don’t want your bf to ask for consent if you’re already naked great! Tell him that. Other girls won’t want the same thing. Just communicate with your partner ffs. I personally have had times I’m naked around my bf and I still don’t want him doing certain things. The default should be ask unless someone tells you otherwise

8

Anonymous

#3 16w

Yea and I shared my personal opinion and yall got mad, I didn’t push my way of life on yall

0

Anonymous

#11 16w

i agree with you #11, if i tell someone no to something they should respect it, but if my pants are off that’s consent in MY eyes, and if i don’t want more i won’t give more. again, MY opinion, if you don’t agree that’s fine and i don’t have a problem with it. But we are all different so maybe just speak your mind to your partner, they don’t always have to ask if you open your mouth. AGIAN JUST MY OPINION AND IM NOT LOOKING FOR YOU TO BE A DICK ABOUT MY MY MY OPINION. lemme clarify again, MY.

5

Anonymous

#10 16w

At least someone gets it, obviously I didn’t say that my way was the right way but you know how people are

1

Anonymous

#11 16w

i mean everyone is completely different and that’s why just being able to talk yourself and put up boundaries is important, i don’t believe the guy always has to be the one saying the hard things when we can do it too. again, for the rest of you, this is my opinion.

3

Anonymous 16w

Way to twist words. If we are actively kissing and touching each other and I’m naked. It’s very safe for the other to assume sex is okay. THATS MY OPINION. I’m honestly not sure why you’re so upset

1

Anonymous 16w

literally not what was said. “if i don’t want more i won’t give more” were my exact words after i said if my pants are off that im giving consent.

0

Anonymous

#11 16w

Could you understand it from the guy’s though? Like if you were a guy how would you approach this situation? I personally thinking always asking and getting explicit consent is better safe than sorry. You could always just remind him next time he could go for it instead but for the first time it has to be clear.

5