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Ask Women 9w
Unrelated but I want opinions: I’m in med school rn. My classmates know I’m wealthy bc of my car and spendings but I’m not a show off. A few ask me if I’m on loans and I get so uncomfortable. Is it shameful to not be on loans? It feels like that…
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Anonymous 9w

it’s not shameful to not be in debt lmao you’re lucky

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Anonymous 9w

The only time I think it would be shameful to not have loans would be if you’re like rubbing it in lesser privileged peoples faces lol. If you’re not doing that then I see no issue

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Anonymous 9w

Like I feel bad bc a lot of my friends talk about how broke they are and how they’re trying to save and I just nod my head. So them knowing I’m not on loans makes me feel even more bad? And I feel like a spoiled brat? Idk… I know it’s not necessarily bad to have your parents pay for your school bc I would do it for my kid but I feel guilty towards my classmates and not even to my parents… it’s so weird. To my parents I ofc feel grateful.

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Anonymous 9w

I empathize with how you feel because I’ve been in a similar situation, but I eventually realized it made it weirder to be cagey about it. I didn’t bring up anything that seemed like a flex, but I also didn’t get bashful or beat around the bush if someone asked me a direct question. Sometimes people ask those things because they want to understand what’s realistic.

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Anonymous 9w

Why would it be shameful to be luckier than everyone else. A lot of ppl don’t have that privilege or have generational or family wealth or struggle to make their own wealth rn. It would be weirder to not give a direct answer than beat around the bush. Sometimes ppl are just curious and want to learn how they can reach that level or what ppl did to reach it

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 9w

yeah that’s great advice. there’s no need to be weird, no need to feel bad about it (sometimes comes off as pitying). just recognize that you’re lucky and don’t do weird things like venmo request them $0.25, and it’s all good lol

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 9w

I would love to be open about it like I would with anything else but in reality I feel so uncomfortable talking about money like that… like it shouldn’t be anyone’s business 😭 but its not like I can say I don’t want to answer or lie (I lie really badly) bc then they’ll know I’m not on loans 😭😭

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

If somebody asked you a direct question, it may not be their business, but then they really can’t be mad if they don’t like the answer either. If you just give a simple answer and don’t try to make excuses or extend the conversation topic about it, that’s all you can really do.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 9w

Same. I think I just feel shame around having certain privileges others don’t have- to the point it makes me feel like a bad person if I’m not struggling like them. It’s hard cause it comes across as me being ungrateful but really I just feel like I don’t deserve it and I’m bad for accepting it😵‍💫

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