Anonymous #3 4w

Making hookups way too emotional fr, chill out and just get cracked and orgasm, that “vanilla” shit just gon ruin the experience or you shoulda discussed it before.

-12

Anonymous #3 4w

yeah she said she wouldve preferred a conversation about being rough before he was. but that didnt happen. so he shouldnt have just assumed he couldve

18

Anonymous #4 4w

I’m not hooking up with you to have some basic ass sex, I coulda just beat my meat atp. Communicate what you want beforehand because your expectations may not be the same, both parties at fault.

-12

Anonymous #3 4w

You thought you did your big one…..yikes! First off a girl shouldn’t have to prove shit, especially “if she can give head” because let’s be real a guys gonna come regardless if he gets head or not. He’s gonna leave satisfied while 9/10 the woman isn’t. A hookup goes both ways babe and asking how somebody likes sex is basic respect. Not everybody likes that shit hard and doesn’t feel good to eveybody! Hope that helps.

21

Anonymous #3 4w

no i agree both parties should have communicated. But i’m also saying if there isnt then no one should just assume that doing something rough is ok

7

Anonymous #5 4w

Which is exactly why I said it should be communicated and dont downplay a mans desire for head yall really be hating that shit. A woman does have to prove shit because you sit there like a dead rat and let us do all the work so yeah imma need some confirmation before I let you squirt on my shi. 0 effort and I dont even get head? yeah find somebody else

-9

Anonymous #4 4w

True

-6

Anonymous #3 4w

Not every woman can come from just a dick fyi. My point was whether y’all get head or not you’re still gonna be left satisfied. Y’all over here constantly begging for head and shit but then have a problem returning the favor. And yeah a handful of women don’t like giving head, y’all’s dicks are not pretty, I’m sorry that you’ve convinced yourselves it’s the greatest thing in the world.

12

Anonymous #5 4w

Nah I just remember better days when girls i fw liked throating my shit and enjoyed sex so yeah imma need a girl to actually fw it and not just put up with dick because of sex. And if you cant come from dih just do it yourself bro you over here saying penetration not the point so then why you fucking a man. I got no problem returning the favor thats why my eaters always run tbe block. You think just because we can orgasm means we satisfied and no, it be hella shi missing with the mood, head,-

-8

Anonymous #5 4w

energy and activity that makes it boring, maybe stop having hookups and get into relationships with people who value you and the hookups turn out better

-6

Anonymous #3 4w

you’re disgusting. and know concerningly little about consent and female anatomy for someone who claims to be having hookups. just because you’re meeting up to have sex doesn’t mean everything is on the table and you can do whatever you want. mfs are out here slapping and choking women in bed without even knowing if she’s into that. that’s fucked. you can have vanilla sex without getting attached, not being abused in bed doesn’t make it too emotional.

11

Anonymous #3 4w

you not knowing that a majority of women don't finish from dick makes me feel bad for women you've slept with. just be they can't finish that way doesn't mean there's no point to having sex. you're over here yapping about getting top and women not being enough for you in bed on a post about a woman who was uncomfortable with a man getting too rough with her. do you see how incredibly insensitive and tone deaf that is?? this is a community for women to answer gtfoh

13

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

Who said anything about abusive sex 💀, slapping faces and hard choking is insane, keep ts soft fr if you letting dudes crack who pull up like that you should already be asking questions, matter of fact as a WOMAN, why arent you already asking those questions, that doesn’t make any sense, if I was a girl and concerned about who I let crack my standards would be high, not just some joe shmoe. No female anatomy is easy to understand and consent is easily noticable, you can gauge that based on-

-5

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

peoples energy or just ask them it isnt hard, crazy women sleep with dudes who dig em in like that fr, why you not askin that already bruh

-4

Anonymous #3 4w

Why do men just assume every girl wants it rough? Stop acting like we’re the only ones who have to ask the questions, if YOU want it rough then that’s something YOU need to bring up. Women shouldn’t be the only ones expected to communicate.

7

Anonymous #5 4w

Yes you do HAVE to ask the question, imagine this, you want a cake but dont know the flavor or fruits you want but the baker already knows what he has in mind so you ask him for choclate cake and blueberries and he ultimately delivers. If you left him to his own techniques he woukd have likely created something you wouldn’t like because he has his own preference. So yes, you are the customer and the guy the vendor, ask for what you want because they will go with their own default. Sure I can-

-4

Anonymous #3 4w

op said that he got too rough; that can mean a range of different things. it should not be on the woman to say like hey i don’t want things too rough. vanilla/ non kinky sex should be baseline expected. anything more should be brought up by the person that wants it

12

Anonymous #5 4w

Communicate that before but if my sexual experiences have all been green and clean and yours been red and dead then why would I ask you anything when I seem satisfied and you dont.

-2

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

Yes it should, you just said that women have a problem with being rough and people pushing kinky boundaries and men generally don’t. If the general idea is that men push those uncomfortable boundaries then maybe its a good idea to ask about that beforehand so no one gets confused. Why would I ask you about feeling satisfied if I know for sure I can get what I want. You still don’t realize that in hookups you’re the customer and the man is the seller.

-3

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

Take initiative and tell them you’re boundaries for what you want, did OP even tell said person that they were beinf too rough? I doubt fucking not because you just expect things to change without effort, put in effort and you’ll get some back bud.

-2

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

Ok #3 you don’t seem to get the idea at all, I didn’t specify what he did because I don’t need to, my definition of “rough” and others definition of “rough” is different, which is why people need to communicate, I didn’t blame the dude but I wasn’t the one who changed the genre of the baseline vanilla sex, I never said I wasn’t interested but when you don’t communicate about it or ask during and proceed to do whatever you want based on “vibes” that’s not always consent, and yes it’s subjective -

9

Anonymous OP 4w

Also didn’t mean to directly respond to hellraiser (appreciate the help really do!!) - sex is not a black or white thing, #3 is speaking from their experience which is probably very different from mine, but when you want to change things and you don’t really know the person, ofc you should ask because YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE, you just met them or you guys are on beginning terms. #3 is making very general statements of “girls don’t want to give head” and such -

9

Anonymous OP 4w

True that is a good point, but you have to understand you are the woman not the man, A man already knows what he wants and what hes going to do as the DOMINANT one, You are the submissive one and a woman so automatically most men will assume they can already do whatever they want, You need to ask about boundaries beforehand because garunteed as a guy most of men wont care in the moment. Again, you are the customer, not the server, take accountability and uss that big brain of yours to control-

-2

Anonymous OP 4w

what he does and how yall function, most dudes find it attractive anyway, a man in a hookup isnt going to ask you want you want unless he cares about you so definitely you need to ask those questions for yourself.

1

Anonymous OP 4w

Which again is subjective, not every “girl” is the same on what they like to do or want to do, not that it’s any of your business but I actually genuinely love to give head, I love giving to whoever I’m sleeping with but if they give that respect back, it’s upsetting, especially when it’s unexpected. I never said I would not be interested in rough sex but communication is important, and you’re right it’s not the guys job to do so, it’s everyone who is participating but when you WANT to switch -

7

Anonymous OP 4w

Things up, you should just ask or check in, because you could make someone upset or hurt them in way you probably didn’t intend to, there’s no need to get so defensive, women aren’t objects and just cause they want to hook up doesn’t mean they owe you anything, we are human beings who deserve to be treated like an equal, especially if you want to receive something like head because again you are not “owed” that

5

Anonymous OP 4w

Sorry *don’t give that respect back* is what I meant to say

5

Anonymous OP 4w

Nobodys owed anything, thats why we can get our orgasm out and leave in 2 minutes, If we arent switching up our ways we have sex and were rough with every girl we fuck and then women don’t communicate that to us because they say “we should already communicate or know that”, then we will never ever know what is wrong and continue doing what we already do. Lots more women unsatisfied in hookups than men, its by general consensus that YOU should ask because you are more likely to be unsatisfied-

-2

Anonymous #3 4w

Ok you seem to have some very weird general broad ideas about “women” and “all women”, it’s just a fact that different people will probably want different things, you are making a big general statement that is not true, not all women want to be submissive and not all men want to be dominant same with non binary people and everyone in between, you just seem to have a fundamental concept incorrectly assumed

9

Anonymous OP 4w

and also concerned about the activities that are coming into play, I’m not asking you whether I’m a good basketball player if my accuracy rate is 90%, id be asking questions if my sucess rate was 30%-60%. A man can usually and always leave satisfied, a woman seems to not be able to do the same, so yes you need to ask.

0

Anonymous #3 4w

Or maybe you should be interested in how the person you’re sleeping with feels?? Because they are also participating? Same vice versa, they should also ask too, there is no one side where one gender/person HAS/SHOULD be the only one initiating or communicating, but your attitude about women seems like you don’t even like women as human beings, I’m just very confused about your anger, I’m sorry if you had bad experiences that are the root to your current position but it doesn’t justify

8

Anonymous OP 4w

NO THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM NOT SAYING, MEN AS A WHOLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL WHEN IT COMES TO HOOKUPS BECAUSE IT IS JUST SEXUAL AND NOT EMOTIONAL. God damn what dont you understand about that this is why hookups with women suck because they get all wishy washy and emotional when you dont fill every category they want. I am literally telling you most men DO NOT CARE about how you feel so YOU NEED to ask. I can come out satisfied every time If I really need to , you statistically will not.

1

Anonymous #3 4w

Ah I see what you’re saying, but what I’m saying is that consent and asking about stuff shouldn’t be “emotional” it should be a baseline of respect, it shouldn’t be normalized that guys don’t care what their partner wants or consents to, and it shouldn’t be phrased as “emotional connection” it’s just basic human decency. Consent being labeled as “emotional attachment” is just an excuse for men to not treat women with respect, it’s also a cowardly excuse, women just want respect

7

Anonymous OP 4w

Ive had good experiences with sex and ive had plenty of women tell me the disrespect men put them through with these hookups and bs so i am telling you as someone who has heard this argument that you need to ask what you expect beforehand because men be trippin on some crazy stuff, not saying this from a negative point but i say it from a personal perspective as a man and also watching from the sidelines

3

Anonymous OP 4w

Consent in sex relating to kinks and whatnot doesn’t translate as consent to men because its just sex. If you want us to care about how you feel that implies we have some desire or feeling to make you feel good meaning it is likely emotional or an ego thing for us. Guys aren’t emotional with women they fuck, it’s just sex so we really dont care at all but for our pleasure and thats it, I have nothing to help/prove to you as a man during a hookup because simply being allowed sex is enough-

-2

Anonymous OP 4w

so even though you want what you want I legitimately will not give a single fuck and will walk out that door and crack a cold one open. Hookups for most men aren’t about respect, you’re just another woman on a bed, not a sexual experience to daydream about. Now if you were a woman we care about or a girlfriend that changes it up because we have a motive and feelings behind our actions and activity at hand. The goal is there because we actually want to fufill that desire because we care. Now-

-1

Anonymous #3 4w

yeah you sound like the worst kind of person to hook up with. selfish and uncaring. you can have a level of respect land care for someone’s feelings and pleasure without wanting a romantic relationship. i have had many hookups and fwbs that cared and put effort into my comfortability and pleasure because that’s basic human decency. if you don’t even care about your partners experience in bed you should not even be having sex

9

Anonymous OP 4w

tell me why I should give a single fuck about a random girl who I have no allegiance to who is just here for the night or two. None, I shouldn’t at all, its also the fact that you are temporary, You likely wont be here next week so why should I be concerned about if you orgasm or not. Physical disrespect is crazy though.

-4

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

No thats just working towards your own motives, fwb makes sense, but most men are extremely guarded in their feelings/emotions so to think you will get us to care about you sounds stupid af. I don’t have hookups anymore because they aren’t desireable and feel disgusting I just stick to sex in relationships because its a better connection and comfortable.

-1

Anonymous #3 4w

if you don’t give a fuck about her orgasm then why should she care about yours tho? or whether or not you get head ? i’m no stranger to meaningless hookups and one night stands but i have a respect for the game that includes actually trying to pleasure my partner and having the effort returned

9

Anonymous #3 4w

Not even noon yet how do u have the energy to write essays about how you don’t know what consent is 💔💔💔💔

6

Anonymous hellraiser 4w

She shouldn’t, thats my whole point, I could care less whether she lets me have sex because the action of doing it is enough for me lmaoo. Most girls give bad head for me and complain its too thick so I dont even ask anymore. Notice how you said partner and not hookup. I dont care about a random girl in my bed thats the whole point,

-3

Anonymous #6 4w

Ikr, woke up to this bs, was flabbergasted by the lack of ability to grasp this concept of RESPECT

9

Anonymous #6 4w

Consent is easy to understand but tiptoeing around subjects about sex after the action has already concluded is weird behavior. Just tell men what you want and we’ll likely deliver.

-2

Anonymous #3 4w

You should honestly just get a sex doll cause that’s how you’re treating women and so it seems like it won’t make a difference to you, may as well not hurt any women in the process

7

Anonymous OP 4w

Yes exactly, there is 0 respect in a man during a hookup also based on the idea that women shouldn’t be promiscuous so to have a girl in your bed as a one night stand is odd and weird because its been said to us for the longest that women aren’t like that or supposed to be.

-4

Anonymous OP 4w

No id rather get myself a gf who I care about and want to please her, not some bimbo in country boots.

-4

Anonymous #3 4w

Ewww that’s like so disgusting and ignorant, you are also generalizing about men and their actions, I know for a fact that not all men have this twisted deranged idea about sex, you should just make “I” statements when you’re saying this shit cause even the men in these comments don’t agree with you

6

Anonymous OP 4w

Girl honestly u gotta just block him these manosphere bitches are beyond help 😭

7

Anonymous OP 4w

girl i am so sorry if i caused this entire thread of fuckery to happen

8

Anonymous OP 4w

Ask a random guy how he feels about having hookups with women and see what he says

1

Anonymous #4 4w

Oh girl it’s not your fault, he obviously felt the need to share his opinion and thought he would get some validation, you can’t control his actions at all, he did all on his own

7

Anonymous OP 4w

I’m not the one who came venting to Yikyak because my hookup went sideways, needing validation from a woman is some loser shit, I’m just telling you as it is from a pov as a guy and based on what other women have told me about their experiences but if you want to be ignorant thats on u fam.

-4

Anonymous #3 4w

Wow and yet here you are, where women ARE telling you how they feel and you’re not listening, you’re just misogynistic and have fucked up ideas about what should/should not be regarding women, I just feel sorry for whoever ends up with your selfish perspective of how to treat others

10

Anonymous #3 4w

i mean sexual partner, not just romantic partner. i’m glad you stopped doing hookups bc the way you view them is fucked, and not representative of the majority of men. i have had dozens of hookups with men who actually put in effort into my pleasure and respected me because that’s basic human decency for someone you’re having sex with, doesn’t matter if you’re not romantically involved

7

Anonymous #7 4w

The unspoken emotional volatility that comes with hook up culture that we unfortunately try our best to not talk about

3

Anonymous #3 4w

About the slapping and choking thing, everyone has different limits. I do martial arts, and among my martial arts friends, choking is a friendly gesture and invitation for an impromptu grappling match. Currently abstinent, but when I do have sex, I will already be quite comfortable with choking, armbars, and the like. My partner also does martial arts, so we know each other’s limits. We also know martial arts etiquette and partner safety: agree on rules before you initiate, respect partner, etc.

1

Anonymous #3 4w

Also in martial arts, people who can’t do certain things because of injuries communicate it. That’s very important because the sparring/grappling partner needs to know how to avoid injuring their partner. Also, if anyone taps out, you STOP what you are doing THAT INSTANT. Failure to respect partner boundaries and safety can get you kicked out or worse. Also, NOBODY EVER ASSUMES IT IS OK TO PUNCH SOMEONE WHILE GRAPPLING. If your kinks are unexpected, it’s on YOU to ASK for permission.

1

Anonymous #9 4w

To clarify what I mean by “or worse”: I’ve never seen this happen, but our coach likes to point out that escalating invites retaliation. When you violate a partner’s boundaries, that COULD be an invitation for them to violate yours. Or an invitation for a strong, heavy person to do to you what you did to them. There are lots of strong, heavy people around who are more than willing to stand up for someone in… unconventional ways. Good people, but not people to mess with. Be warned.

1

Anonymous #9 4w

I heard someone got kicked out for attitude, so kicking out 100% does happen. I wish there was a way to kick people out of the hookup market for their attitude. Well, I guess the Tea App is one way to filter ppl. Also, if you start a group with a vetting process, you can filter potential hookups that way.

1

Anonymous #10 4w

Just ask

1