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One time a girl asked me “is my bun messy? Should I redo it?” And turned to show me and it looked fine but maybe a little messy and I didn’t know what her standard was so I j said “maybe you could redo it” and my friend next to me GASPED at my response 😭
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Anonymous 1d

Like I did not mean to be rude 😭😭 It’s a loaded question bro because how can I know what she would think is messy like what if I said it was good and she wouldn’t have liked it. Like I thought it looked GOOD 😭 but I was trying to be helpful omg never answering anything again turns out I broke like a million social rules ig bc I’ve never heard my friend AUDIBLY GASP in horror at my response so I knew I picked the wrong dialogue 😭

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Anonymous 1d

Thats kinda crazy like i dont even see how it was that offensive? Like she asked your opinion and you gave it so i really dont think you did anything wrong i lowkey think your friend overreacted to your response

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Anonymous 1d

You did the right thing.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 21h

honest mistake. i avoid a lot of interactions like this by saying my internal thoughts out loud instead of giving an opinion. Example: “it looks fine to me, maybe a little messy but idk what your standard is, you could redo it if you want but you don’t need to, do you want me to take a picture of it and show you?” the gasp was definitely unnecessarily dramatic but i will say the comment could have been seen as passive aggressive, you can avoid getting viewed as passive aggressive by addressing

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 21h

all parts of a person’s dialogue when someone is asking your opinion about something. when you only respond to the action part of a question it’s assumed that your answer to the unaddressed question is too mean to say out loud (which is ridiculous but whatever)

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 17h

OK OMG this is actually so helpful thank you 😭 like I knew I didn’t mean it passive aggressively but I could 100% see how it came across to someone who isn’t in my head and idk why I’ve never thought of just thinking more out loud to avoid that. I was just excited this girl was coming to me for like a typical social interaction and I wanted to answer in like a casual person who can definitely socialize way and I missed the mark ig 😭😭

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

Idk my only thinking is maybe she was asking in more of like a just wanting confirmation that her hair looked good way and instead I took it literally and told her to redo it 😭😭

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 14h

it’s all good don’t sweat it. miscommunication happens. i totally understand wanting to seem cool and casual. another pro tip is to err on the side of compliment. if you don’t see anything wrong or it looks good, you can just say something like “you’re good, it looks great to me”. or “it’s maybe a LITTLE messy but it looks cute.”people generally want affirmation so only suggest a change if you WOULD change something and start it with a compliment. ex: it looks pretty good to me but there’s this

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 14h

one section of hair you forgot.” if she came to you for affirmation you’re doing something right so i really wouldn’t sweat it. if you can’t get it out of your head and you’re close with the friend you were with at the time you can mention it to her and say something like ‘hey i’ve been thinking about X interaction and i really feel like i said the wrong thing on accident what should i have done’ but it’ll blow over in a day or so if it hasn’t already. you’re doing great and social shit is HARD

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