It's a spectrum. They don't have the same disorder because it's a spectrum. You have support needs they don't. That being said yeah it sucks I've just stopped expecting happiness and trying. Qué será, será

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like it just makes me feel bad about myself because if someone with the same disorder can be successful and likable then maybe i am just lazy and annoying and a bad person

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Don’t be. I was one growing up (before I got old) lmao xD I got stalked multiple times by crazy people. I also still got bullied, but it was both by the normal bullies who could smell autistic on me and the ones who wanted to get with me after they had their fill and or were rejected. It’s not any better. It may even be worse at times. Once I was stabbed in the leg with an American flag at a school event by a guy. People are evil regardless of looks or actions.

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