i think it’s fucked up to make your children pay rent. but there’s no such thing as “behind”. comparison is the thief of joy. you’re probably younger than me and doing way better lol. but i’ve been fighting for my life in the hospital so i’m not going to compre myself to anyone else, just my previous self. and by that metric i’m doing amazing. it’s all about perspective! i’m sorry you’re feeling down but this stage of your life is just setting the foundation for better things to come.