Anonymous #2 1d

I mean, I don’t know how to face this fear or what to do. Some things I can do that with, but I’ve had this issue for a long time it just hit extra hard today.

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Anonymous #2 1d

back up, in what world is “shutting up about it” equivalent to “facing your fears”?

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Anonymous #2 1d

Idk man shutting up about it doesn’t seem very courageous to me lmfao

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Anonymous #6 22h

I really think this is how things are supposed to be I mean, ideally men should be able to get emotionally vulnerable with one another without a woman needing to be there to facilitate that process, but societal programming runs Deep and I def don’t blame anyone for needing to learn by example

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Anonymous OP 21h

Sure, I think you could prob face it by taking your shirt off and swimming in a public area regardless of what other people think. By going to the gym and facing the reality of your own weakness, pushing it right up to its failure point so you can begin to change, to grow. By forcing yourself to accept your body as it is, by opening it up to the world, you’ve recognized your own agency in what that body is and how you treat it. You will have then faced and conquered your fear

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Anonymous #4 21h

Shutting up I take as more of just a cessation to complaining and wallowing in self pity or overthinking, being a man I take to mean moving beyond the prison of thoughts into action. There’s a time for thought and time for action, op’s problem is they are thinking too much about how they feel about their body as opposed to actually experientially feeling their body, putting it to work, being with the world

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Anonymous #2 21h

“Moving beyond the prison of thoughts into action” this isn’t a fucking Greek tragedy its people’s insecurities in response to social expectations 😭😭😭

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Anonymous #5 21h

Shut up and be a man historically means suffer in silence 🤷 like irregardless of what you think it means, that is what is has meant to society

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Anonymous #4 21h

Yeah cool take it however you want, I’m giving actionable real advice to the guy. I used to be fat my whole life till like junior year of high school and thought people judged me, all that time I spent depressing myself about my body could’ve been spent on just actually being one with my body and using it appreciably for what it was begging me to. When I actually started playing sports, going to the gym, putting myself in uncomfortable public situations I didn’t initially want, I really grew

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Anonymous #4 21h

Past all that into actual love and gratefulness for my body, even when I was still fat but less fat, because I was seeing progress and actually doing something useful instead of throwing some pity party that made me feel worse. This whole world is beautiful, it runs on action. The actions we take are the reality we take on, so yeah shut up and be a man and go try solving your problems. The whole point is in the trying, that's what life is about

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Anonymous #2 21h

The actionable advice is fine but it reads as you treating a social problem as an individual mindset problem. “Oh just don’t be sad” instead of address what causes insecurity, cuz it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. “Stop thinking and start acting” works for some people but doesn’t really address what would cause them to think this way

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Anonymous #2 21h

That is a good thought, I guess I’ve just heard too many opinions online of like feminists complaining they hate seeing guys with their shirt off. I’ve been working out for quite awhile now and while I’m proud of the progress I’ve made in my arms, according to online the only way I can reduce my waist is to just have a calorie deficit, which makes me rethink every time I eat something high calorie. My workplace has a lot of high calorie stuff like donuts, chocolates, and other stuff

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Anonymous #2 21h

I also think it’d be nice to do cross dressing but idk how to start

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Anonymous #2 21h

Exactly and that’s what I don’t want to do. I want to do something about it

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Anonymous #4 21h

Very true

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Anonymous #6 21h

I don’t have a friend group :(

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Anonymous OP 21h

YESSS THATS GOOD!!! Cross dressing can be good it’s important to nail down general styles that make you feel comfortable

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Anonymous #4 20h

Yeah that’s kind of what I’m thinking like I think it’d be super cool to try on wigs and colored eye contacts but I have no one to ask for advice on that also or where to even start

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Anonymous #4 19h

I don’t think you actually understood what I said then. What’s causing his issue is lack of self appreciation and social expectations, by going out and facing both of those with the actions I prescribed, they’ll directly work as treatments to the issues and change his psychology accordingly. It’s a direct response to what’s causing him to think that way

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Anonymous OP 19h

I mean don’t go around with your shirt off in random places, that’d be rude, I just mean at the pool when you’re swimming, the beach, other relevant places, etc. as that’ll help acclimate you to just feel like you can be open with your body and no one cares

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