We had a narcissistic mutual friend, that didn’t want us to become closer friends and manipulated our view of eachother. Despite her efforts we still both ended up having a crush. He asked her to find out if I liked him. I told her I wasn’t interested because I thought he didn’t like me and was making fun of me. She didn’t correct me. I wasn’t able to process this until years later (narcissistic abuse be wild) and he’s taken.
Now I fantasize about telling him what actually happened and about the what ifs- how we could’ve dated back then. But at the same time I’m happy for him that he found someone:/ im jealous he moved on, I wish I could stop thinking about it. I wish I could tell him truth of all that happened back then, but instead ill never talk to him again and let him be happy :/