Anonymous #1 1d

Nah, I did them a favor so I wouldn’t consider it self sabotage

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Anonymous #2 1d

I disagree but it’s ok

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Anonymous OP 1d

why do you say they’re better than you?

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Anonymous #2 1d

Better looking, smarter, nicer, more emotionally open, better mental health, more social

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Anonymous OP 1d

and you dont see yourself working on those things to be better for that person? you’re making excuses. it doesn’t sound like you liked them that much if you let them go.

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Anonymous #2 1d

I loved them and didn’t wanna hold them back from going a better direction.

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Anonymous OP 1d

you could be that better direction if you work on yourself.

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Anonymous #2 1d

do you not think you’re important too?

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Anonymous #2 1d

Not really, I won’t truly ever be able to be as mentally put together as they were because they weren’t mentally ill. I’m medicated and in therapy but that only does so much. I could be that right direction but idk if I could fully be what they truly deserve

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Anonymous OP 1d

what if they wanna be with you regardless? did you really ask them that and they said no? or are you just making excuses because you dont want to get hurt?

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Anonymous #2 1d

I didn’t ask, they opened up their feelings of liking me first. It did hurt to turn them down but i feel if they knew why i did they’d understand why. I just told them it wasn’t the right time for me to tackle something like that

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Anonymous OP 1d

would actually not have been able to tackle something like that or did you just say that?

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Anonymous #2 1d

I could have but they deserved better, it didn’t feel right idk if it was the right choice but last I knew they were happily taken and I feel it’s the better thing they truly deserved

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Anonymous OP 1d

but they put themselves out there for you and you just turned them down knowing you would’ve been able to handle it. and now you’re gonna wonder what could’ve been. word of advice: if the feelings are mutual always see it through. never leave things unfinished because the “what ifs” are gonna eat you up.

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Anonymous #2 1d

I do wonder sometimes if it could’ve been what was good for me, it’s been a little over 3 years and I still think about them frequently. I still harbor some feelings of love as much as I feel guilt and regret for what I did. I’m in a slightly better position now than I was but I still somewhat feel that they were still above what I deserve

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Anonymous OP 1d

dont sell yourself short. the fact that you still think about them after all this time doesn’t mean you were unworthy of them. it means you cared deeply. we all make decisions we regret but that doesn’t make us less deserving of love. nobody is “above” anyone else’s worth, and one decision doesn’t define what you deserve.

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Anonymous #2 1d

I haven’t met anyone who comes close to how great they were since, I’ve tried meeting people but no one gives me the feelings they gave me. I wish I hadn’t been in the bad place I was when this happened. They were truly amazing and I don’t really believe in god or anything but it felt like a divine sensation. If anything I feel less deserving of any sort of love after doing that because I was a depressed insecure dumbass at that time

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Anonymous OP 1d

you definitely dont deserve less because of what you were going through. if anything you deserve a lot. i think the fact that you still think about it and feel deep regret for what happened speaks volumes. dont let it bring you down. and thinking about it doesnt mean you cant move forward. one day you’ll find another person who will make you feel the same way. dont give up. <3

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Anonymous #2 1d

I just hate that I think about them almost every day, sometimes small thoughts of just our conversations or wondering if they’re alright and big thoughts like what our future could have been. I prayed every day for almost 3 years for anything to reconnect us, I don’t know if I can fully forgive myself for it, I went through it worse after I did that because I deep down knew it was wrong and I hated myself deeply and took myself on a self destructive path. I just truly wish them the best

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Anonymous OP 1d

i think the fact that you still care about them after all this time says a lot about the depth of what you felt not that you’re incapable of moving on. regret can make us replay the past and imagine all the futures that never happened. but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to stay there forever. wishing them well while also learning to forgive yourself can both be true at the same time. three years of carrying this is a heavy burden.

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Anonymous #2 1d

i hope day by day you can extend the same compassion to yourself that you’d probably give to someone else in your position.

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Anonymous #2 1d

If somehow by the grace of whatever may be out there and we’d reconnect idk what I’d do but I’d try to make things right in any way I could possibly do so. They deserved the world plus more and I couldn’t do that at that time and I think that influenced what I did. I’ll forever have that spot in my heart for them no matter where life takes me

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Anonymous OP 1d

i don’t think carrying that love and regret means you failed them forever. it sounds like you truly cared and still do. none of us can change who we were years ago. only who we choose to be now. maybe the best way to honor what they meant to you is to keep becoming the kind of person you wish you could have been for them then. whatever happens i hope you eventually find some peace alongside that place they’ll always have in your heart. because im sure they would want that for you.

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Anonymous #2 1d

If I could say any last things to them right now I’d tell them how sorry I am for what I did and that I hope that life brings them the best in everything and that I’ll always be happy for them. I’ve been pushing myself more lately to be what I wish I could have been for them and it feels good and hurts that I wasn’t this back then

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Anonymous OP 1d

that feeling of hurt is whats gonna push you to be better. maybe not better for that person that you want but better for someone else who’s coming your way. focus on yourself always.

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Anonymous #2 1d

It’s been a long journey of struggling with my own feelings and issues, I have regrets for how I took some of my issues but I fixed myself with nobody’s help except my own. I just have to overcome that last hurdle of truly loving myself and forgiving myself and moving on from the past and realizing I’m worth something and I can be what I wanted to be for her for myself even if I don’t meet someone

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Anonymous OP 1d

im glad you’re coming to terms with it. you should be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. self-improvement is a lifelong thing. and the fact that you’ve put in that work on your own is something to be proud of. keep doing it for yourself. not for anyone else. wishing you the best.

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Anonymous OP 1d

this mindset here is awfully unhealthy

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Anonymous #3 1d

Eh, somewhat but not fully

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Anonymous OP 1d

no it is

1