Well of course. We have the freedom to verbalize and condemn whatever we what. However, provoking unhinged individuals is just not a smart thing to do. You don’t go in the ocean covered in chum. You wouldn’t go into the woods covered in honey. Your actions and what you choose to present yourself as will always attract things that you don’t want. You’re allowed to shame and condemn, but at some point you also just have to be smart and take the high road and not draw so much attention to yourself
It’s your responsibility to be as cautious and carful as you can be. If you know you’re going to a potentially crowded or sketchy place, why even put yourself in the fire by going balls to the wall on scandalous outfits? Like do yourself a favor and just be moderate for your own safety. There’s a time & place for everything
Yes, but why wouldn’t you trust a complete stranger to use their own best judgement as an adult and take ownership of what they are choosing to wear? The issue is those individuals who act as if we are not justified in being disgusted by objectifying comments and actions. Of course women understand what will likely happen when we wear certain outfits, but the way we choose to express ourselves shouldn’t change whether we are perceived as humans or objects.
I agree but we don’t live in a perfect world lol. It’s asinine to trust strangers to use their best judgment one because most people are dumb as fuck and two because nobody should ever be that naive. In a perfect world nothing bad would happen but we live in a far from perfect world and because of that it’s up to you for your own wellbeing and safety to do what you must to be as a safe as possible. In a perfect world we wouldn’t need seat belts but guess what? We still wear them each and
Every day. Of course you’re allowed to wear whatever you want, regardless of how revealing and scandalous it is but if you constantly complain about people’s reactions to it then that’s at some point on you, unfortunately. You can’t control what other people do, you can only control what you do.
Your analogies have absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand. People are not animals. We have the ability to change our behavior and reactions. I’m not saying I trust strangers with the ability to use their best judgement, I’m saying that you should trust that women have the ability to decide when it is appropriate to wear the clothes we want to wear. I’m not walking into drug-infested neighborhoods or mental hospitals wearing provocative clothing.
Because he’s assuming that when a woman chooses not to dress conservatively, they are automatically throwing all caution to the wind and have no idea how to use street smarts or protect themselves. He is assuming that women have no judgement and that we are incapable of being discerning.
Our ability to control our behavior separates us from other animals. You’re intentionally missing my point. And you’re absolutely wrong. Many average sane men do not control their behaviors and objectify women constantly. Genuinely mentally unwell people are always a factor you have to account for, and I will take those precautions. However, they can be avoided in the vast majority of everyday circumstances.
The root of the issue here is that you’re blaming women when they are preyed upon. That’s not addressing the problem. That’s failing to hold people accountable for their actions. If you want to sit here and pretend like every man who behaves inappropriately towards a woman is verifiably insane, then we have nothing more to discuss.
It separates us in many ways but we are still animals and still have animalistic instincts and tendencies. No actual sane man is out of control of their objectifying behavior. Those men simply aren’t as sane as you seem to think they are. So see we agree with each other lol not sure why you’re arguing
Okay but this is the issue right here. The fact that you think that if something bad happens to me, I may also be partially responsible based on what I’m wearing. If I go to a concert or a club and I take every precaution: traveling in a group, getting a ride directly to the venue, carrying pepper spray, I might still be held responsible for being preyed upon because I wasn’t wearing something conservative.
Look I understand your frustration and I share it. You should be able to wear whatever you want. I’m not saying you’re responsible for what others do because as I said before you can’t control what others do. Dumb fucks are gonna be dumb fucks and you can completely mitigate their savagery for taking responsibility for what you do. I’m not saying you should do that but I am saying it’s an option if you find yourself in disparate situations often
I do understand these things. My point still stands and women should not be held accountable. You need to understand that the language you use suggests that there’s a certain standard we have to reach to be “qualified” to be the innocent party in an incident. This language is rooted in shifting the blame onto women, and it makes men feel justified in their behavior. It’s part of the problem.
I’m not blaming women bro how many times do I have to say it 🥲 I’m saying that people are responsible for their own actions too. I’m not saying it’s your fault if you ultimately get graped. Of course it isn’t because people can be graped regardless of what they’re wearing. It is your responsibility to not put yourself in precarious situations since we unfortunately live in a world where harmony and peace aren’t a universal thing
Okay, I see that you really feel like you’re not coming across as blaming women, but do you see how it seems that way? “Avoiding precarious situations”… how do you suggest I do that? Never go to concerts or have fun? Never leave my house? It’s a double standard. It’s like saying that choosing to go anywhere means that I forfeited my safety.
I mean you kinda do forfeit your safety. Everyone does, men & women alike. Anything can happen when you’re out & about. It’s just the reality of the world we live in. I don’t need to be on the road at night during the new year but if I am I know I’m putting myself at risk because of what I chose to do. That doesn’t make the potential accident caused by a drunk driver my inherent fault, but I knew the risks. We’ve already discussed this. You’re allowed to say what you want and call out what you
I am not mad nor am I happy when acknowledging that actions have consequences. It’s just the reality. In order to put the blame on someone, you have to have an emotive feeling that they are inherently wrong or incorrect, which as I’ve said, is not the case with people choosing to wear what they want to wear. The action of choosing your clothes can unfortunately have negative consequences. That’s a reality. That does not mean I blame them for it, however.
The person choosing to wear a dress is not at fault. The weird grapist is 100% at fault. Why did he choose the person in the scandalous or provocative dress though? Because it’s the reality of the fucked up world we live in. We can absolutely do our best to change it but we live in the here and now so wearing that dress is unfortunately a consequence if that occurs
Do you understand what bias is? It’s when you allow prejudice or emotions to form unfair judgements. Just because you’re not having an emotional marathon as you type this doesn’t mean your idea isn’t coming from an emotional, illogical place. Your notion of this “reality” that choice of clothing can have negative consequences is based on your warped moral compass. A creep will be inclined to be a creep no matter what. Another person overstepping boundaries is not a consequence of choice of dress
Yes, we know. SA is not a consequence to the action you are talking about. R*pists aren’t like Bruce the shark from Finding Nemo where cleavage turns them into hungry predators like the scent of blood. They’ve already made up their mind about what they’re going to do, even if they may not realize it. Whether they stalk their victims or are already friends with them, a girl’s choice of dress isn’t what made them decide to commit SA. Stop arguing in bad faith.
Never said it was what made them magically go “yahoo I’m gonna SA someone tonight”. But if they’re on the hunt so to speak and see someone that appears to be “easy” then yeah that’s tough. That’s not me saying you’re never allowed to wear anything other than a nuns outfit. It’s just acknowledging the reality of the world we live in and all I urge is for everyone to be more cautious these days. For some people that caution might be to simply not go out, that’s their choice. For others it may be
To go out strapped up and pop the ass of the ReRe that wanted to SA them. For others it may be to dress a little less provocatively as to not draw unwanted attention. There’s plenty of actions that can be taken but I was simply responding to the specific scenario OP postulated
I don’t think that happens like you’re saying it does though. “Easy” can mean anything. To say that SA is a consequence to a provocative choice of dress is disingenuous. If you dress as a nun and get SA’d by a guy who happens to have a nun fetish, is that a consequence to dressing like a nun? Or is it an outlier?
It’s a consequence of dressing as a nun since he has a weird nun fetish. All actions and choices have consequences. That’s it. That’s the point. To say that dressing provocatively isn’t a consequence is disingenuous. I already said to Op somewhere else on this post that a grapist is going to grape regardless, right? If you’re worried about that, take the necessary precautions to not stoke the flame then. Don’t add fuel to the fire that you have no control over.
You can acknowledge that things are going to happen no matter what while still acknowledging that you can do things that will potentially either enhance the likelihood of said action occurring or mitigate the likelihood of said action occurring. The very fact that we and so many others have had a debate over this just shows that there is merit to the line of thinking. If dressing provocatively didn’t have any negative consequences whatsoever, nobody would be talking about it.
It’s so funny how people like you act like all the SAs that happen are of women in tight skirts walking down the wrong alley Like dude. A high amount of them are by partners, family, and people they know. Another huge chunk is regular people who got drugged or taken advantage of while intoxicated. It has nothing to do with clothes.