last time this happened i knew she could feel me cut my energy off from her. at least i’d like to think she did. this time is different and i don’t wanna cut off my energy from her but soon she’ll feel me slipping away. this distance is good for me bc i can fully focus on myself and i’m about to go all in.
simultaneously, i’ve been meeting new people, possibly making new friends and i’d love to tell her about them but we’re not really talking atm. and she’s going through a tough time so i’m sure she’s not gonna wanna hear about it even after the fact. truth is, i love her sm i want her to be my only friend. which sounds so lame especially considering she’s got her own friends other than me lol
so yea this distance is good i think. she said a while ago that she wonders how our friendship will be once i find a partner. i told her that things would be different but that i’d still pour into the friendship as much as before. i don’t have a partner yet, i still wanna pour into this friendship but it’s like she moved the glass so there’s nothing to pour into. other times it feels like she’s reserving the glass for someone else while watching me continuously pour spilling it all over the tabl