Anonymous beestboy 1d

You look just the way you were meant to and im sure the people who love you wouldn’t want it any other way

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

Hey! So I’m currently sobbing rn this made my night lolll I was expecting hate or trolls in the replies

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

Thank you so much for this, I really needed to hear this

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

I’ve definitely been trying to get better with this the whole summer, there are definitely some days where I just look in the mirror and I’m like wow maybe im too harsh on myself

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Anonymous OP 1d

Ofc! I had an old girlfriend before who was very similar so I know how hard this can be for some people. Just know you’re not alone in your feelings, and in your humanity. Maybe you can talk with other women like a support group or try digging deeper in a true journaling session with you and your thoughts. I think ur bf has a point that someone made you feel this way or communicated a message to you that got internalized as a belief that you have today.

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

Whatever it may be, just take it easy, don’t be hard on yourself, and it’s one day at a time :)

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

I 100% think so as well, I just can’t remember who it could’ve been that made me feel like this? Maybe an old rls? Or family? Or maybe even myself..?

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Anonymous OP 1d

It was not yourself. An exercise my first therapist taught me was trying to identify the voices of the thoughts that occur in my head. Maybe this can be of help to you. For instance just be present in mind next time a scenario pops up where ur bf might see u without make up, that sends a signal to ur brain and usually a thought pops up telling you how you feel. That hatred. Isolate that thought and identify who it sounds like

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

This is genius. Thank you for taking time out of your day to give me genuine advice and insight on my situation. I wish you the best!

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

I usually have old relationships that echo the same qualms to me that my mother used to echo to me as well growing up. They became things I now echo to my self. So it feels like it’s me who’s thinking it but really it was my primary caregiver that hammered a belief into me, and I eventually chose partners that would reinforce that belief, rather than one that wouldn’t . So while u may have had old rls, usually it’s because of an early experience

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

Can you expand on the last section of your comment?

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Anonymous OP 1d

Okay so let’s say my mom is mean and calls me names right. (Experience) I’m going to believe (belief) that my mom is correct and therefore I deserve to be called mean names. (Thought) This will make me feel unworthy and not deserving of love so I then decide to date people (behavior) who remind me of these things. Then I will have an experience of these mean name calling things with someone else all over again, thus completing the cycle. Eventually, I start to think I am a bad thing and deserve

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

To be called that. The belief has become internalized. Now I’m going on a whim here and not saying this happened to you but I’m gonna paint a picture of what could have happened to get u where you are now, maybe you can fill in the blanks.

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

And I’m not a therapist so I can be entirely wrong about all of this lol. But let’s say as a kid u saw someone u look up to call a woman (or you) ugly and how a woman should be pretty(experience) and that teaches u the idea (thought) that if you’re not that you won’t be loved. So in the case with ur bf u feel (emotion) that he may abandon you or see you as less worthy so u need to put on makeup (behavior) . The difference here is he loves u either way

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Anonymous beestboy 1d

So it’s breaking the concept of the cycle and thus it leaves u here on YY feeling confused and broken because this is going against something you’ve believed to be true for so long (if I’m not pretty enough, I won’t be loved, and I’ll be abandoned, left alone.) AGAIN idk u fr im just going off on very limited info. I say u do some soul searching and taking this with a grain of salt but really stay present with urself and identify if what you’re thinking is really your ideas or someone else’s

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