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Confessions 2d
I was helping a friend out w/food/electric/etc because they lost their job but I’m not wealthy myself and have stuff to pay so I told them I can’t help them til I’m paid & they started to beg & said I’m the reason they haven’t eaten for 3 days.
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Anonymous 2d

I’ve had them apply to everything, helped them fill out the forms etc. The multiple Churches in our area will all give out free food to anyone who’s needy too but their excuse is that they have autism (no diagnosis) so can’t eat most of what the Church hands out. I haven’t replied to their message yet as I’m not sure what to say. I’ve given them hours of my time helping them sort their shit out or just sitting with them even after I’ve been doing 12+ hour shifts every day.

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Anonymous 2d

& I feel bad bc I do care about them & want to help them get back on their feet but I told them I just had to put $1800 on my cc to get my car running again and what money I have is for my bills to come out in the next few days and they continued to cry, beg and blame me & now a huge part of me really doesn’t want to help them anymore… I’ll help my friends as much as possible but I’m not responsible for your problems…

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Anonymous 2d

That’s a bit much.. direct them to local resources like food banks that give out ingredient boxes, if they’re not a dependent you can tell them to apply for SNAP (they might be able to if they’re a dependent too tbh idk the rules). If they lost their job for to layoffs, file for unemployment. Apply for LIHEAP (electricity assistance) and they’ll pay all or most of their bill. In situations like these, it’s amazing to have friends to lean on, but go ahead and try using all the safety nets too

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Anonymous 2d

Why can’t they ask their parents or something?

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2d

I’m sorry you’re also going through tough times. But your friend needs to be empathetic to the fact that this is a very hard time for EVERYONE. Job market bad. Economy bad. For now, at least this will give them other avenues to explore to help with their expenses. Also, I pay taxes. I’d like people to use the programs that I pay said taxes for

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2d

Sorry my last comment was supposed to be @you. I’ve been in some pretty horrible situations including homelessness as a teen after my Mom died so I can empathise but I never begged or blamed anyone who was trying to help me in any way. I’ve lost a whole lot of respect for them.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2d

It’s all good. Thank you for helping them apply to things, it’s unfortunate that the process is slow. Idk what churches hand out, but it would be good to get staples like rice, lentils, pasta, and idk I have cereal and mac n cheese on deck. Just “won’t starve to death” foods you know. Hopefully they have a safe food that could fall into this category. The guilt tripping is what’s truly terrible though. You are NOT the cause of their suffering. You were a support during it to alleviate some.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2d

Their problems didn’t vanish when you were giving them money. It was just like you putting bandaids on someone who is showering in roses. They’re still getting cut a ton, and eventually you’re going to run out of bandaids. I don’t know the specifics so I don’t want to cast too much judgment on your fried, but it’s an abysmal thing that they’re doing. I don’t blame you for taking a lot of time to be able to approach it thoughtfully. I would leave it till morning at the very least.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2d

Anddd tbh this would be a good time to perhaps draw that line in the sand bc it’s crazy that they expect you to pay. If you want to help them again in the future, I would personally ONLY buy them “don’t starve foods”. Frozen vegetables are great, but it’s good to have at least a semi stock of cans (longer term plan for friend) too. I have hellas cans of beans bc of my sister 😭 I’ll mail some over. I wouldn’t just give them straight cash bc idk how much you’re giving and how frequently, but

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2d

There’s better ways to stretch that kind of stuff than I think they’re even attempting to do bc they’re expecting another deposit from you

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