Anonymous #1 14h

yeah like i’ll get myself off but doing it w my bf feels so mentally tiring i almost avoid it. but he has a high sex drive and treats me good so i do it for him, and don’t get me wrong, when we do it it feels good. but i rarely just crave it or want it. i want to have that passion and hunger for it it feels like a big part of the relationship is missing for me bc of it

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Anonymous OP 14h

just to be clear he never pressures me or forces me to do it btw. he actually rarely initiates bc he doesn’t want me to feel pressured, but sometimes i can tell he’s in the mood so i initiate and do it for him

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Anonymous OP 14h

I've just been hurt so badly, have been in COUNTLESS situations where I had to fight my way out of being hurt badly, have had to fight to defend my friends too many times, have dealt with the pain of friends/family/acquaintances who've been hurt so badly My nervous system won't allow me to let my guard down around men enough to get intimate with them or enjoy the intimacy without being panicked/petrified/etc the whole time 😭 I had to DRINK HEAVILY to get intimate with my ex every single time

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Anonymous #1 14h

I think my biggest mistakes were A) Not talking through it with my ex openly and honestly and B) Not having worked through my trauma properly, openly, and honestly with a professional Learn from my mistakes and plz do those things if you haven't started already 😭

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Anonymous #1 14h

yeah i need to go to a therapist! i mentioned it to my psychiatrist and ik she’s not a therapist but i was just like “hey i have no sex drive anymore and sometimes i break down crying during sex like is that a side affect of the meds or what” and she said it sounded like its a trauma response and changed some of my meds around but said id need to go to a therapist for that

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Anonymous OP 14h

idk why i’ve been putting off seeing a therapist for years. the last time i went i didn’t have a great experience, she was kinda like making it sound like it’s my fault i was depressed and that i didn’t fix it or smth

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Anonymous #1 14h

and i’m sorry you had to go through all that. no one deserves that. but maybe we can grow and learn ourselves and heal

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Anonymous OP 13h

I've had ATROCIOUS luck with therapists myself, which is part of why I didn't even bother. I always get the brand new ppl, the unqualified ppl, and the 'I should definitely not have this job' ppl 😭 but there ARE good therapists out there! And it's SUPER important to actually go get therapy and work through it ASAP instead of just 'thugging it out'/dealing with it yourself. Bc ts does NOT work at all 😭 I tried so so hard, but under the surface the trauma silently spread to affect every-

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Anonymous #1 13h

Single aspect of my life. You can do a lot of the work yourself! But having a therapist to steer you through and channel your energy is so necessary We got this. WE will acquire good therapists and heal 😤

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Anonymous #1 13h

yes! i’ll sign up this week for one 🫡

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