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Confessions 16h
My bf doesn’t know about my trauma or mental health issues not because I’m trying to hide it but I don’t know how to tell him. I don’t want to be a bummer and trauma dump a bunch of shit on him out of the blue but I feel like I’m hiding parts of myself
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13
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Anonymous 16h

take this from a guy. I personally think it should’ve been said earlier. It’s def not too late bc it’s been 4 months, but I would definitely be like “why would you keep this from me?” HOWEVER. i come from a 4 year relationship. conversations like that are SO PRODUCTIVE because it lets you know what the future is. With that convo, you’ll love eachother so much more. if it goes right ofc. the hard conversations that go right always make you so much stronger but it’s always a risk yk -

upvote 15 downvote
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Anonymous 16h

How long have yall been together

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 16h

4 months

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 16h

I’d start telling him bits and pieces, maybe not everything at 1 time and only what your comfortable with

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 16h

I don’t know how tho like there’s never an appropriate time to just turn and say “hey do you wanna hear about something crazy that happened to be when I was a kid? it’s gonna make you really sad!!” Yknow

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 16h

it always could go backwards and maybe he is just weirded out entirely by not being told

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 16h

You need to vent, just maybe preface it with that

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 16h

I have absolutely no issue talking about the things that have happened I love questions and talking about myself and my life im an open book but I don’t know how to like bring up that stuff especially when it’s sad without being prompted

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 16h

I don’t tho ive worked thru all my stuff occasionally I’ll have flashbacks n really bad anxiety but it’s usually when he’s sleeping or at work so like at the time it doesn’t matter for him I just feel like I’m hiding it from him but I’m not trying to

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15h

I get that, it feels extremely shitty when you talk about something vulnerable and don’t get a compassionate response from someone who you’re already invested in I think it’s best to be deliberate, from here on out, about looking for moments when you can organically bring up aspects of mental health stuff or your trauma history in conversation. like when it’s already relevant to what y’all happen to be chatting about. little by little

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 15h

and if he responds dismissively or otherwise seems unequipped to handle the reality of what you’ve been through, I would take that as a sign to dip out. but like #2 said, the other possibility is that talking about these subjects brings you closer in a major way

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 15h

#3 PERFECTLY SAID. it’s beneficial either way. but like you said (OP), it really is hard to randomly bring it up. to be real with you that’s a timing thing. someone can’t really tell you when or how yk

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 15h

thanks, thought your comment sounded sensible too 🫡

upvote 1 downvote