
beestboy
Every other day someone gets on here talking about cheating on their partner, then when they get called out they say but actually he’s abusing me!!! As if that makes it okay. Fucked up is fucked up regardless, don’t try to justify it now. Own that shit.My relationship started by my partner cheating on an abuser so I do sympathize, but also think it’s the dumbest thing in the world. They were married so it was just cheating in the legal sense, since divorces take time, but if you’re just dating someone who’s apparently too abuse to leave without risk why the fuck do you think it’s safer to LITERALLY CHEAT? Sounds like a one way trip to the emergency room or worse if they find out
I don’t think something = bad if there’s a victim. Integrity states bad is bad regardless If someone sees it or not. The premise of loyalty in your question is under false pretenses. If abusers don’t deserve loyalty (they don’t) then why are feigning loyalty by staying with them under the guise of commitment? That don’t make no sense twizzy
So what’s lacking integrity about cheating on an abuser? A lot of abuse victims can’t leave. They aren’t feigning commitment to be evil or dishonest, they just can’t leave. That’s one of the ways abusers abuse, they make it impossible for their victim to leave. So it makes it to where if they want happiness or romantic connection or sex without being scared then their only option is to cheat
So if their life is in danger the correct option is to cheat? That’s like if someone is holding me hostage and instead of taking precaution to get out the situation Alive, I spit in the guys face and curse him out. She’s posting anon on YY, she is looking into the idea of letting another man into their (presumably the abuser’s) home . She ain’t that trapped my guy . Cheating is wrong point blank. No excuses .
Cheating isn’t necessarily the correct option but it’s not the wrong one either. A lot of the time abuse victims feel they have nothing else to lose so if they’re able to get fleeting happiness then that’s worth the risks. I’ve talked with op in DMs. She’s tried really hard to leave but can’t. It is the abusers home but she is legit trapped. Cheating is wrong. Cheating on an abuser isn’t wrong.
I’m not op btw, I feel like you’re kinda talking to me like I am and I just wanna make that clear so there’s no confusion. Backbone doesn’t matter. Abusers make it impossible for their victims to leave. That’s one of the ways they abuse. I think it’s justified because it makes you happy, gives you a sense of connection and safety, and it sticks it to your abuser
It’s still adultery to be with someone else during a legal separation and can really fuck up the divorce proceedings so gotta keep it secret lol. And that’s why the divorce took so long, had to be legally separated for a full year (needing a separate address) and due to the financial abuse he couldn’t “legally” move out and rent his own apartment for nearly a full year.