Anonymous #1 1d

Not trying to come off creepy sorry I just hate to see people feeling like that

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Anonymous #1 1d

Thank you. I guess it makes me feel alone because I’ve met very few people like me, and the ones who are queer like me don’t stick around. I’ve had trouble keeping friends in general due to my health issues, so that just makes it worse. Plus I can’t get a date to save my life. I’m pretty ugly too so guys don’t ever look my way. I’m in my mid twenties now as a virgin with no friends and no relationship experience. I feel like if I was straight I may not have these same problems

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Anonymous OP 1d

I’ve had a lot of difficulties keeping people in my life because of my own mental health fuck ups, I can’t imagine how crushing it must feel to lose friends over something you can’t control I’m so sorry. If you don’t mind me asking what’s going on? Do you feel like you have a large role to play in these people leaving or is it just out of nowhere? Have you ever been able to connect with the queer community in a way you feel accepted?

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Anonymous #1 1d

Also honey my bf is called ugly but a lot of people and he’s the only person I’d ever have eyes for and i genuinely don’t see it, someone will look at you that way I swear

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Anonymous #1 1d

I’ve had ADHD and depression since I was a kid, so it’s not really something I have control over. But eventually one of my friends in our group wanted to stop being friends with because I was “too much to deal with” and the rest of them didn’t object and just followed suit. I haven’t had a friend group since and that was three years ago. Only two out of the six of them ever checked in on me afterwards whatsoever. I guess it was my fault but it’s not like I can just stop being depressed

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Anonymous #1 1d

And those friends were my queer friend group and now I don’t have any at all except for my roommate, who’s a bisexual woman. I do have a best friend but they live far away and I only get to see them once every few months. I’m a queer man and I’ve been able to bond well with queer women and straight women throughout my life but rarely with men of any orientation. I think I’m just very bad at talking to men in general

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Anonymous #1 1d

And being ugly is a problem with gay people because queer men are notorious for having extreme body standards and a lot of body shaming. And because I’m not conventionally attractive I’m basically invisible

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Anonymous OP 1d

I’ve been diagnosed with depression so many times I can’t even count not to mention BPD and I got sent to a mental hospital. I had trouble getting to know people and keeping friends before and I still do but I went into the hospital and when I got there I got along with almost everyone and it made me feel like I could find my people again they’re just alot harder to find I got given a piece of hope and you deserve one too I’m sorry you haven’t gotten even that yet.

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Anonymous OP 1d

It’s not your fault your depressed and sometimes it’s hard for people to watch us struggle and stick around for it, usually you can rely on friends a bit more and you don’t have that, have you gotten in touch with professionals about getting real help? And I think it is genuinely harder to get to know guys (I’m a girl so I know I can’t fully understand) but I do know about how straight guys are toward gay guys and it’s so fucked up. I know a large portion of the gay community can be very vanity

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Anonymous #1 1d

Focused but this is going to be hard to hear but you need to believe someone else can have the same ideology as you in that they don’t need a fucking model they just need a partner. Can I be a bit blunt with you?

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Anonymous #1 1d

Sure go ahead. You’ve given me good stuff so far

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Anonymous OP 1d

Nothing sucks for me more than when I hear my friends talking badly about themselves, some people get annoyed by it I usually just get sad about it I’m not saying it’s wrong to bring up insecurities with friends but I’m wondering do you bring it up like in this convo? Because if I heard my friend always bad mouthing themselves like you talk about you everytime we got together it would be a bit of a bummer. I’m not saying you’re doing this but I’ve done it and it’s super common in depression.

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Anonymous #1 1d

I hope you find someone that understands you at this level so they can enjoy life with you at your fullest. I’d also make sure you’re not looking outside of yourself for happiness, I do it a lot and it’s not easy to quit but it’s the only way people ever get true happiness

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Anonymous #1 1d

I probably did in the past, but I don’t do it anymore. When I talk bad about myself these days it’s just in my own head because there’s nobody around to listen if I say it out loud. Or I just post stuff anonymously online like this post. But not to my one best friend I still have. We usually have a lot of other things to talk about. And I’ve tried therapy in the past but it didn’t work for me either. I didn’t get any better at all

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Anonymous #1 1d

Thank you for talking with me. I really appreciate it and I wasn’t expecting it at all. It’s nice to get this out. I haven’t told anyone else this before. I guess I do tend to look to others for happiness because I’m just not a happy person on my own. I really don’t have very many things that make me happy at all

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Anonymous OP 1d

Have you tried different therapists or therapy styles? There are a lot of variety and you could try looking for a different kind if you haven’t but I know how hard it is to find someone worth something and then to keep them on for insurance purposes too. What have you tried to do to put yourself out there and meet people that hasn’t worked and what have you done for yourself to improve your mental health?

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Anonymous OP 1d

I’m happy to talk to you, I just hope you know you have people who care for you and love you and appreciate your time. It’s hard learning how to be yourself and make yourself happy when you’ve been masking around everyone too, I know ADHD is no joke

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Anonymous #1 1d

I’ve had a few different therapists but unfortunately I don’t know if I can access cheap and/or free therapy anymore. So if I do it now it might cost me a lot more. And I’m very much an introvert so I get very uncomfortable in social situations, so I don’t go out much. I know I live close to a local gay bar but I’ve only been there a handful of times. I guess I would just feel weird going out there alone. And I do make friends with coworkers but they come and go really quickly due to the job

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Anonymous #1 1d

And yeah ADHD is a lot more debilitating than people think. It’s caused me so much grief over the years, probably more than my depression. I can barely mask because my ADHD is severe

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Anonymous OP 1d

I would start with finding one activity just for you that brings you satisfaction or joy, something small. Maybe walking dogs for the humane society or going on a hike, you have to find something that will bring you joy, and you yourself have to learn how to let the light in

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Anonymous #1 1d

ADHD is underplayed sometimes these days and it’s terrible I doubt you got proper care for that and I’m sure it’s always harder

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Anonymous #1 1d

Yeah I can try going on a walk every day. That’s definitely manageable

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Anonymous orange_steaming05 1d

What would that do for me?

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Anonymous OP 18h

One step at a time homie, but make sure to find joy in it

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