Anonymous littlepenis2.9 10w

there’s a very long list of reasons, but the main one is that the friendship is no longer a beneficial thing in my life and has become something that i resent

1

Anonymous littlepenis2.9 10w

i wouldn’t say we have to stop being friends entirely, but space from her is definitely something i’ve needed for awhile and not saying something feels worse than being honest with her

3

Anonymous OP 10w

Yeah but why

2

Anonymous littlepenis2.9 10w

i’ve come to realize as i’ve matured more that she’s not really a good person nor is she a good influence on my life. she also has some pretty toxic expectations for the friendship (basically expecting me to do behave like someone in a romantic relationship would rather than a platonic friendship)

3

Anonymous OP 10w

What does she do that makes her a bad person?

3

Anonymous littlepenis2.9 10w

allow me to rephrase since i don’t think i have the right to call anyone a good pr bad person. i just don’t think she’s a good friend for me to surround myself with. she has a tendency to surround herself with people who do not treat her well over and over, she makes jokes at my expense (even when i’ve asked her not to), she puts herself in dangerous and vulnerable positions and gets upset when i’m not willing to do the same, etc etc

1

Anonymous #2 10w

see that’s what i’ve kinda been doing, and it’s worked okay but not great. it also just makes me feel bad to not be honest with her and give her the reasoning for why i’ve been acting like that towards her yk? i feel like a confrontation has become necessary and im pretty set in my decision it just terrifies me for that reason: it will likely blow up

3

Anonymous OP 10w

I think you need to be ok with a potential result of the conflict becoming no contact. It's rare for someone to say yes to less.

3

Anonymous #2 10w

yeah, and homes i would be. i think it’s more the confrontation itself im worried about because trying to do so in the past for different things didn’t necessarily go very well

2

Anonymous OP 10w

although i guess i really don’t have control over that, only my own feelings and actions. still just stressful to think about

2

Anonymous OP 10w

another thing as well… setting boundaries/ saying no doesn’t work very well as she’ll make fun of me for saying no or just generally not really respect them

1

Anonymous OP 10w

I gotcha yeah honestly break it off and I don’t mean to fight fire with fire but with the way she treats you she really doesn’t deserve a special goodbye. You really don’t owe her anything

2

Anonymous littlepenis2.9 10w

i appreciate your honesty. i still really care about her and i know she doesn’t mean harm (even tho she does harm) so i think i’ll still lay it down gently but be firm in my decision. thank you. talking about it definitely helps because i just feel it’s a hard thing to rationalize

1

Anonymous OP 10w

Hey I completely agree! Sorry if I came across as annoying. I was just trying to get to the heart of the issue so that I could better understand where you’re at and how to proceed. I’m always a DM away if you need to discuss anything. I like dissecting complex topics and issues.

5

Anonymous littlepenis2.9 10w

no worries! i was getting stressed for a sec but i got the gist of ur message and i truly do appreciate you offering your help. thank you!! i will def reach out if i need to talk about it more.

3