
like he hasn’t even made time to text me really. leaves me on read for hours multiple times a day and very short and dry answers when he does respond. i knew he was busy but i didn’t know the extent and it felt like lack of interest. he’s already not very vocal when it comes to expressing interest like i am. so i have a date tomorrow and another one the next day. i went back through all of our texts and re read them and i feel like crap about continuing to date other people after i said i wasnt
going to and now i want to cancel the dates. i saw all the times he complimented me that i had forgotten about and saw how much he expressed liking me before the stress from his job and hectic life was really taking a toll on him. i feel really crappy and selfish and like im wasting these other men’s time by going on dates with them. a part of me wondered if this guy even has enough time to date me but he’s making time in his schedule and really is making an effort to see me more.
i knew it wasn’t a good thing to do and i regret it. it was a decision based on negative emotions and not compassion and care for anyone involved. i’m very much used to putting in the most effort in a relationship and not receiving it back so feeling ignored opened up some old wounds that made me act in a way that felt better in the moment but wasn’t healthy.