Confessions on Yik Yak | My daughter came out as lesbian recently. I never would’ve expected this from her, she never seemed like that type at all. I feel like I’ve failed as a parent, and that makes me feel like I failed as a person.

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Confessions 16h

My daughter came out as lesbian recently. I never would’ve expected this from her, she never seemed like that type at all. I feel like I’ve failed as a parent, and that makes me feel like I failed as a person.

-4

Anonymous 16h

you sound like you genuinely care about her and you’re really struggling so this is going to sound harsh. but as a lesbian who’s father had a very similar reaction i never forgot how it made me feel. we aren’t close anymore for reasons unrelated to me being gay but it’s definitely one of the reasons i feel no desire to reach out. however hard you’re struggling with this just know she’s gone through much, much worse getting the courage to actually tell you. i really hope you didn’t tell her you

Anonymous 16h

if it makes you feel better, female homosexuality is never actually described as a sin in christian scripture

Anonymous 16h

I feel so bad for her

Anonymous 16h

I don’t hate anyone, and I’d never condone any kind of behavior like that. But it’s a lifestyle I don’t agree with, mostly influenced by my religion. I’ve always thought of myself as open minded, especially in comparison to others in my circle, but I feel as though my immediate reaction to her news wasn’t the best and it’s made me start to question my beliefs. I want to be supportive of her, I love my daughter, but I also don’t know how to change the beliefs I’ve had for so many years.

Anonymous 16h

I feel you, OP. Maybe she’ll turn back straight, you never know. Does she have short hair or long hair?

-8

Anonymous

OP 16h

Have you considered your religion applies to you and not her?

Anonymous

OP 16h

God is a better man than you

Anonymous

#2 16h

I have. I’ve never expected anyone to share my beliefs. And I try not to impose them on others. Everyone’s life is theirs to live, regardless of whether or not I agree with their choices. But my family and my religion are what’s most important to me in life. And now the two are at odds. This whole thing has shown me that perhaps I’m not as open minded as I once believed and that, as well as the fact that I likely upset my daughter, is very upsetting to me.

Anonymous

OP 16h

Your beliefs were shaped by an ancient misogynist political ideology that encourages hatred and abuse under the disguise of enlightenment and love. You were taught to fear what you don’t understand rather than thinking critically

Anonymous

#5 16h

I sincerely hope you can rethink some of your beliefs, and I hope your daughter can find a place and people who truly accept her and love her

Anonymous

#4 16h

This there’s no denying. I’ve always tried to treat others with kindness, regardless of their beliefs and whether or not I agree with them. But I think I reacted poorly when she told me, and not in the way our Lord would’ve. I want to be more supportive. I’d like to be able to wrap my head around this better and I’ve been trying to. But now suddenly a matter very close to home is at odds with my religion which is a substantial part of my life.

Anonymous

#6 16h

Shut the fuck up. My daughter is who she is, and I have no tolerance for this kind of prejudice. I’m struggling with wrapping my head around this due to my faith and the fact that it suddenly at odds with my family, but as I said, I do not condone this kind of hate and intolerance.

Anonymous

#5 16h

Im trying to. But faith is the second largest pillar of my life, and it has been for my entire life. It’s difficult to reorient my entire belief structure in such a short time, and I’m struggling with new questions and thoughts. And while I have many flaws, not in the least that it appears I’m not as open minded as I once believed, don’t doubt for a second that I love my daughter.

Anonymous

OP 16h

God doesn’t gaf that your daughter found love with a woman. The original text was BOY (child) should not sleep with man. It was about pedos and abuse not homosexuality in general. God does not care if two people are the same gender and find something pure and beautiful. He does care however if you make your daughter feel like she did something wrong or if you make her feel like she’s better of dead than being who she is. She can’t change it bc God made her that way. God loves her

Anonymous

#5 16h

The God I believe in would never condone hatred or abuse. I don’t hate anyone, and we were all gifted free will to make our own choices.

Anonymous

#6 16h

Hair has nothing to do with that. Coming from a straight girl with a pixie cut

Anonymous

#4 16h

God loves all his children. For most of my life I’ve been taught that this lifestyle is wrong. That it’s a sin. But i also believe in free will and that God is forgiving, and so while I haven’t agreed with the lifestyle, I’ve never judged anyone. I agree, God would likely be ashamed of how I reacted. While I didn’t react with anger, or say anything that could even possibly be inferred as though she would be better off dead, my reaction was poor and not as supportive as it could have been.

Deleted 16h

Comment Deleted

Anonymous 16h

Idc God and I have a direct connection and he gave me knowings. He dgaf who loves who as long as you aren’t praying on or abusing others

Anonymous

#4 16h

The only ones that care about this bullshit are a subsection of humans

Anonymous

#8 16h

feel like you failed as a parent because of this. regardless of your personal feelings about being gay your love for her needs to be stronger than your faith. if you DID have a bad reaction you need to spend the rest of your life making that up to her, because whatever you said or did will stay with her for the rest of her life

Anonymous

#4 16h

You people are ridiculous w ur downvotes. Okay be horrible and rot in hell for breaking your daughters heart

Anonymous

#7 16h

and i’m a lesbian with long hair. people thinking hair length means anything is so stupid 😭

Anonymous

#8 16h

I didn’t say that to her and I never would. I love my daughter and my family more than anything. While I didn’t react with anger or judgement, I think my reaction was poor nonetheless. It caught me very off guard and I just don’t think I handled it well. I’m having dinner with her this Friday to try and talk about it and apologize for my reaction. I love my daughter so much, and the last thing I want is to make her feel ashamed of who she is. But I’m just struggling with what to do and how

Anonymous

OP 16h

I can provide the support she deserves when for so much of my life I was believed this to be wrong. The two most important things to me, my family and my faith, are now suddenly in conflict with each other and it’s difficult to process. I hope you and your father are able to reconcile some day and I’m sorry you’re estranged.

Anonymous

OP 16h

Your faith should be that direct connection to God not blindly following scripture known to be hateful and inaccurate of Gods true wishes

Anonymous

OP 16h

did you meant to say you can or you can’t provide that? bc it sounds like you meant to say you can’t. also ik you probably meant this in a good way but not having my father in my life was the best thing that could have happened to me. i have no desire to reconcile anything

Anonymous

OP 16h

Sorry, I thought she was who she wasn’t

-3

Anonymous

#8 15h

The word limit cut me off into two separate posts. It’s meant to read “but I’m struggling with what to do and how I can provide the support she deserves when for so much of my life I believed this was wrong” And I did mean it from a good place, I’m sorry I assumed.

Anonymous

OP 15h

Okay so choose to let it go and love your daughter as she is if you are truly a man of God

Anonymous

#4 15h

I think its easy to be able to tell that he feels terrible and knows it was the wrong way to react, and badgering that point isn’t going to help the daughter and it isn’t going to help him to be more understanding, what is the point?

Anonymous

#1 15h

he’s believing a piece of paper manipulated by the hands of men overtime instead of actually connecting with the REAL GOD withiut using a bible. He’s worshipping man’s manipulations over time of Gods word and that’s not the same at all

Anonymous

#4 15h

and hammering that point in a dozen scathing comments isn’t going to help him understand any better than 1 or 2

Anonymous

OP 15h

i appreciate that but i fear im going to have to be even harsher now. you need to shut the fuck up and get over it. your daughter is the same exact person she was before you knew she’s a lesbian. there is 0 difference between her now and her before you knew. the only thing that’s changed is YOU and right now she’s dealing with the fact that regardless of what you say and feel, your love for her is conditional. this is the reaction someone has when their child commits a crime, not when they’re

Anonymous

#8 15h

finally honest about who they love. i don’t know your family situation but im assuming you were closed based on how much this is affecting you. you really need to sit with the fact that while you’re agonizing over your daughter loving women, she’s almost certainly figuring out a future without you in it. or at least one where she doesn’t confide in you anymore

Anonymous

#8 15h

It’s not easy to get over a lifetime of belief, but I take your point. This experience has shown me I’m not the man I thought I was. My daughter and I are very close, and I’ve been sitting the fact that I hurt her none stop for several days. I’m happy she felt as though we were close enough that she could tell me, and proud of the courage it took. Im going to find a way to fix things, no matter what, but it’s still a struggle to wrap my head around. I feel terrible and unsure about things that

Anonymous

OP 15h

I once never thought to question.