Anonymous #2 1d

I make eye contact and smile if I’m interested tho. Is that not direct enough

1

Anonymous OP 1d

No, most men assume you’re being nice. I know this sounds unfair but you really have to work with a man’s sensibilities and concerns in the current dating market; I’ve tried approaching women who do what you’ve done and they just giggle and walk away, leaves you feeling confused.

3

Anonymous #2 1d

What should I do to send the signal that i’m interested then

5

Anonymous #4 1d

Fake protector?

1

Anonymous #4 1d

No I don’t have friends like that but I know what you’re talking about

3

Anonymous OP 1d

The extreme option? You say hi first. But I concede that it’s a lot for a girl to do, still an option. Adding more enthusiasm to your signal may help like a little hand wave for example. Another thing that matters A LOT is how you present yourself, if a man wants something serious and sees you dressed like a sorority sister, he’s going to ignore you. Im not saying you need to cover your shoulders and ankles, but vibes are everything, and what you wear can and will affect vibes.

1

Anonymous #2 1d

Well the issue isn’t being ignored 😭It’s being stared at and not approached. I’m being stared at because I look good lmfao

1

Anonymous #2 1d

But yeah I don’t want to say hi first

3

Anonymous OP 1d

I had been in so many situations where the girl is genuinely interested but don’t wanna upset her friend. I am not white and lot of times when I approach a group of white girls the protector girl be like he’s a weirdo just because of my skin color. Sucks

1

Anonymous #4 1d

That’s so weird. Sorry that happened to you fr.

1

Anonymous OP 1d

Thank you

1

Anonymous OP 1d

No I didn’t think so lol, I understand it’s scary. I guess a question for you is: do you find the men who stare at you attractive? What percentage of them would you want to approach you?

1

Anonymous #2 1d

Well all men stare and some I find attractive and some I don’t. If i don’t find you hot I’ll give a polite short smile of acknowledgement and if I do I’ll hold eye contact and smile. But percent? Idk… most people out there are unnattractive tbh, but I do see quite a few cute guys some days

1

Anonymous #2 1d

It’s not that it’s scary. I know I won’t get rejected but I want a guy who isn’t afraid to talk to women. Like a scared guy, that isn’t the personality that’s attractive to me I like confident guys

4

Anonymous OP 1d

Okay thank you for being honest, I suppose we’ll circle back to my first post: “we [men] don’t know where we rank in terms of attractiveness”. I have no idea what a cute guy is to you, if you say most guys are unattractive, we internalize that HARD. You say that you find the confidence attractive, but if we’re being honest, both parties will determine attractiveness ‘visually’ first. So if you’re smiling at men who you don’t even like, that confirms our bias: “she’s just being nice”

1

Anonymous #2 1d

I guess the key takeaway is: you should not smile or hold eye contact if you don’t find the other person attractive.

1

Anonymous #2 1d

I don’t I just give a brief smile like if you were smiling at a teacher or something

1

Anonymous #2 1d

It’s rude to pretend they’re invisible is it not?

1