Anonymous #1 18h

Hmm ok

1

Anonymous OP 18h

the split attraction model really isn’t good to use

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Anonymous #2 18h

There’s nothing wrong with using it if you want to use it

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Anonymous #1 18h

ig, just be aware a lot of people view it as dehumanizing and it undoes a lot of work that went into showing being gay/bi was more than just sexual attraction

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Anonymous #2 18h

Homo- and bi- are more than sexual attraction because they can be descriptors for romantic attraction as well… like I’m biromantic but asexual. If people don’t want to use it then they don’t have to, but don’t tell others they can’t

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Anonymous #1 18h

i never said people couldn’t. i just explained how other people view it. it was originally only meant for asexuals anyway, i just think it’s weird when other people use it

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Anonymous #2 18h

I don’t fetishize woman btw but obvi I’m not into dating them I’d only want to date a man

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Anonymous #2 18h

Weird doesn’t make it invalid or inherently offensive, unless someone’s calling you something you don’t want to be called after asking them not to. I have a lot of friends who aren’t ace who use split attraction because it more accurately describes who they are and that’s lovely

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Anonymous #1 18h

okay. i never said they couldn’t do that. i’m just saying that they’ll also have to be okay with a lot of people viewing that in a negative way

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Anonymous OP 18h

sure

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Anonymous #2 18h

We’re all queer, I think we’re used to being viewed in a negative way no matter how we identify. It’s weirder to judge someone for their identity just because you personally don’t identify that way

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Anonymous #1 18h

i get it if someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all, but how is it anything but fetishizing if i say im sexually attracted to both genders but only romantically attracted to one?

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Anonymous #2 18h

like we’d all be able to say it was bad if someone said they were sexually attracted to all races but only romantically attracted to one. why is that any different for gender?

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Anonymous #2 18h

I couldn’t imagine seeing sexual attraction as inherently fetishizing. People like what they like and they can’t control it, romantic and sexual attraction are very different things for a lot of people and this is extremely invalidating to them

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Anonymous #1 18h

it’s not inherently fetishizing, but if you say you can fall in love with x group of people you’re sexually attracted to but not y group of people… i’m ngl it leaves a bad taste in my mouth

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Anonymous #2 18h

Learn to cope with it I guess, otherwise you’re falling into conversion therapy ideology. People can’t control who they’re attracted to and how that attraction manifests

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Anonymous #1 18h

idk how that’s conversion therapy when lesbians and gay men are both sexually and romantically attracted to the same gender. i’d be careful using that “people can’t help what they’re attracted to” argument bc that’s been used to excuse a lottt of shitty things. i’m assuming you didn’t mean it that way but just keep it in mind

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Anonymous #2 18h

You should also keep in mind that telling queer people their attraction is fetishistic is a reflection of a lot of the anti-queer ideology we’ve been fighting against throughout time. There are lots of people in this world who enjoy sex but aren’t interested in dating, are they evil fetishizers too? Or do they just have different ways of expressing attraction based on the context

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Anonymous #2 18h

ig in my mind as a lesbian if a woman says she’s sexually attracted to both men and women but only romantically attracted to men… what’s so different between men and women? sexual attraction is obvious but if you’re attracted to both genders that way, what’s the difference that keeps you from being romantically attracted to one? i’ve never heard an answer that isn’t fetishizing

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Anonymous #2 17h

You’re so right, what’s so different about men and women? They’re essentially the same so homosexuals should just call themselves bisexuals to be more inclusive right? Why not be attracted to both when they’re basically the same?

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Anonymous #1 17h

i mean the main difference with that tho is they aren’t interested in dating anyone. i think we posted our comments at the same time but i expanded on my thoughts in that one

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Anonymous #1 17h

if someone is already sexually attracted to both yeah i do actually want to know why they can only picture themselves in a relationship with one. if someone said they were romantically attracted to everyone but only sexually attracted to one gender that feels even more fetishizing tbh

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Anonymous #2 17h

A lot of lesbians have male friends that they hang out with in ways that could be comparable to nonsexual dating (seeing movies, going on trips, grabbing lunch). So if they like spending time with both men and women like that, what’s stopping them from being sexually attracted to men? I mean like you said there’s not really any difference between men and women, so why are they comfortable spending time with both but only want to have sex with one? Sounds fetishistic to me

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Anonymous #1 17h

Genuinely sad to spend so much energy getting upset over people who have split attraction, if it bothers you that much just don’t date them and maybe seek a therapist to vent to about it

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Anonymous #1 17h

are you seriously comparing being friends with someone to being romantically attracted to them? my point was that if someone is ALREADY sexually/romantically attracted to both genders, what’s the difference that makes them sexually/romantically attracted to one but not the other? i’m not talking about lesbians who are only romantically and sexually attracted to women and idk why you keep acting like i am😭

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Anonymous #1 17h

?? idk why you keep responding to points i’m not making

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Anonymous #2 17h

Why are you only attracted to women when you just got done telling me that there’s not really any difference between men and women? If there’s no difference between them, everyone should be bi

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Anonymous #1 17h

Actually I’m done here why tf am I spending this much energy talking to someone who wants to police queer people’s identities. Fucking freak

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Anonymous #1 17h

bc i’m only sexually and romantically attracted to one gender. i want to know why, for people who like both men AND women, what the difference is between them that would make it not fetishizing to be able to have a relationship with one but not the other

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Anonymous #1 17h

oh okay lol

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Anonymous #2 15h

One has a dick and the other doesn’t. Girl I’m not giving up dick. Which is lowkey my answer

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Anonymous OP 15h

i’m not asking you to give anything up lol? that also doesn’t answer my question. im just confused how you can be sexually attracted to both but only romantically attracted to men. obviously men and women have different bodies and features but what makes romantic attraction different between them even tho you’re attracted to both?

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Anonymous #2 15h

Because I want to date everything a man is and has and not the general stuff of a woman. They are very beautiful and some are very damn charming but I can’t see myself going on dates ex with them. It’s just a personal prefeeence

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Anonymous OP 15h

Preference

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Anonymous OP 15h

I like to be in a more traditional roles relationship

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Anonymous OP 14h

Do you understand?

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Anonymous OP 14h

not really tbh but there’s no point in debating this with you. it’s fetishizing to say you only want a woman for her body but 🤷‍♀️ that’s your choice ig

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Anonymous #2 14h

It’s not though I don’t look at a female and say wow I only view her in a sexual way which is false therefore makes it not fetishizing

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Anonymous OP 14h

Do you even know the definition of a fetish?

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Anonymous OP 14h

Oh boo hoo number 2 cry about it

1