it’s so gross, but part of a bigger problem. it’s not an issue of being too open about sex, but the pressure put on men to show their masculinity by “conquering” many women. but the issue in this is that men have a higher threshold to acquire sex but are expected to sleep with many women, and women have a much lower threshold to acquire sex but are expected to sleep with few men. it’s a disgusting, patriarchal, colonial attitude that needs to die
Where are you finding these men? Cuz if it’s Tinder, or really any dating app, y’all those are hookup apps go participate in hobbies you like. Join a Bowling Pickup League, Religious Young Adult Groups (if you are Religious), Music Festival Gatherings ect ect. Just keep going to those you’ll eventually find a group to hang with consistently and then go from there
Hey man, until every single boy on the beach puts on a shirt before they post on Instagram, and there are no more dudes cupping their bulges on OnlyFans, you can’t claim that women are “living on easy mode” and “asking to be sexualized” that’s not a gender thing bro, that’s pretty privilege
It’s on you for talking to men like that grow up and surround yourself with people who aren’t like that and generalizing “all men” is your first problem which is why you can’t find a good one start to reevaluate before coming at me all my relationships have gone smooth I’m in a 5 year relationship currently with my fiancé and she would say the same thing I’m telling you
Sure it’s not “all men”, but you can’t deny there is a societal issue with how women are viewed and it permeates dating culture. As a woman it’s exhausting and sad how commonplace it is to be treated subhuman and after awhile you burn out. As much as i’d like to be open to finding the “right” men to talk to, I have had a lot of strange experiences with people on first dates. It’s ignorant to blame someone for trying to meet people, obviously we know that person isn’t for us after.
Bro- some people just suck. You may have forgotten because you’re in a happy 5 year fairytale, congrats man really, but sometimes people aren’t great! And sometimes, often times, you don’t know that going in. Most don’t willingly subject themselves to people and situations they know are shitty. They just don’t have a 5 year fiance, so they take a chance, because even if it’s a tough process, it’s worth it to try.
You’re objectively being closed minded and only focused on one side men are often times viewed the same or as a piece of meat to woman for example Micheal b Jordan you have to start taking a step back reevaluate notice patterns and not talk to guys like that and I’m not necessarily blaming I’m trying to get people to understand yes it’s unfortunate but you cannot continue to walk in the same issue over and over and over without realizing you may be doing something wrong or talking to the wrong p
You do realize that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is just inherently insane and stupid so talking to the same kind of guy that only wants to fuck and expecting different is than on you, there are signs that will show that this guy ain’t shit or this girl ain shi but people choose to ignore it because he’s hot or has a decent personality that is then on them
Im literally not tho. If I am asked on dates I will say yes. It has nothing to do with Michael b Jordan😂. I’m very open minded when it comes to dating especially outside of my physical type. However I’m very discerning and if someone is obviously after sex only, I’m out. It’s just weird how comfortable some guys feel being straight creeps on first dates
Not really all men mature as they get older they just don’t show it or choose to acknowledge the brain develops as it gets older because it takes in more knowledge which allows for better understanding which in turn boost maturity but some people don’t choose to act mature hence the saying “act your age” or “act mature your … years old”
🤦♂️yeah man obviously scientifically speaking, PHYSICALLY SPEAKING, brain development isn’t over until 25, and biologically your body continues to develop over time, and lived experiences pile up the longer you’ve been, well..living. But immaturity in older people is more than just “not showing it or choosing to acknowledge,” some people are just immature, and immaturity flourishes at every age
I literally didn’t say that you shouldn’t talk to any men, your problem is you’re hearing what you want to and not paying attention to reason I said stop talking to the same kind of shi men you run into because obviously if you’re running into this problem 3x or 100x there’s a pattern and you’re just choosing to ignore it and continue to talk to that kind of guy
Okay, 1: I’m not “hearing what I want to hear” and I’m not “running into this problem” because I’m in a happy relationship..I’m also a dude. 2: “These kinds of shi men” as if dudes like this do not exist in various different flavors and environments. Like, some exist openly as assholes and others deliberately dull those qualities in public to lower their defenses, people run into these guys everywhere!
That is true but the problem will never changed until it’s fully acknowledged it’s not just a thing woman deal with society has all type of problems that are applauded that shouldn’t be but everyone has to acknowledge their own part in it like I stated from the beginning not following the same patterns that lead you down that road
So what the hell are you arguing with me for if you’re a guy if bc then you would know that the truth of the matter guy or girl is there are shi men shi woman who will only want sex and not be able to hold a conversation but you have to take accountability and not walk down that same path with every man or woman you talk to you have to find change and be willing to make that change when you find it and even if they dull the qualities you can still tell someone objective by behavior
Okay again my problem with this is I take issue with you shifting the blame, this post was meant to reflect a specific aspect of the problem, specifically the way men act towards and treat women in modern dating. MORE specifically, I take issue with you choosing to believe that women (or at least the women in this sub) are DELIBERATELY putting themselves into these situations when they have shared no indication that they are knowingly responsible for DELIBERATELY doing so!
I never once said they are all deliberately doing I replied to someone who gave a hasty generalization about all men wanting to do was f*ck and it turned into this by other people replying but you also have to realize if the problem is occurring so much than they also play a part in it
Why am I talking about this as a man? Because whether or not I believe you are arguing here in bad faith, you are either directly or indirectly parroting nonsense talking points by relying on “whataboutism” to avoid the actual subject matter and in doing so promoting harmful ideas.
I’m literally not I addressed the problem and said if you continue to run into the same issue all the time than you also have to take accountability and you and everyone else is trying to say they shouldn’t take accountability because it’s not their fault because men are shi but the truth is if you can tell a man is shi and only wants that but you continue to go in that’s you play a part in what you’re going through as unfortunate as it is they have to deal with it because some men ain’t shi
The idea that older people are INTRINSICALLY more mature because they have experienced more things in life only works under the assumption that they learned the correct lesson from said experiences and are able to think critically about them, which are skills that people of all ages have sorely lacked throughout human history.
“If you can tell a man is shi and only wants that but you continue” MY Point is that you actually, fully, many times CANT! To claim that, especially in an engagement as turbulent as romance, you can have a clear, objective insight into what the other person ACTUALLY REALLY WANTS DEEP DOWN, especially when they themselves may not know because, again, it’s human relationships, is just not fair.
You have to remember The guys that the post is about “guys who only want sex and can’t hold a conversation” RED FLAG RIGHT THERE!!! cannot hold a conversation and only wants sex which mean 1 Guy has made it known that’s all he want 2 He’s not holding a conversation which shows lack of interest RED FLAG meaning Gtfo and avoid it
Creating boundaries, learning about the person, and looking for red flags? That is all a far FAR more reasonable and appropriate suggestion. I like that a lot better. I would say though still, that it may take time to get to know someone like that, and by the time you realize they want something different from you (or THEY realize they do) you may have already invested time into getting close to one another, which is incredibly normal in Romance; as is the age old response: disappointment.
You understand though that all of these steps can be followed to a T, and some guys will still slip through the cracks? You also agreed with me when I said not all these guys are loud and proud assholes. Many times it takes more time to uncover that or for red flags to present themselves! So the idea that every woman must “hold herself accountable” and that those who do won’t have these problems is ridiculous
That’s not what this post is about it’s about the guys who cannot hold a conversation and want to fuck that means they aren’t hiding and you shouldn’t be talking to them bc it’s already a red flag and I never said you won’t run into the problem but it’s better to hold yourself accountable for talking to the same shi guys when you know you don’t have to your still going away from the original post this would be a different conversation if we are talking abt men hiding motives
Everyone has to be accountable goofy🤦🏽♂️ woman who walk into it knowing what it is and continues to go its also on them yes the man is completely wrong but the woman is also wrong because you choose to go into it and let’s say you don’t know all he wants is sex you already noticed his lack of interest in holding a conversation why are you still pursing take accountability for your faults as well even though the man is 100% wrong
I disagree, of course women should not engage with these men. Again it’s not their fault and they aren’t in the wrong. The problem isn’t the women engaging. The women want to engage without men only wanting one thing. So how are going to let the women engage and the men do better?
now your being delusional to say something not someone’s fault when they go into something knowing it’s a red flag is not only delusional but it’s insane yes they should not have to deal with it but the fact of the matter is there are guys and girls who do this and if you know they are like this and still choose them that’s your fault if you what better you have to choose better
EXACTLY. The easier it is, the worse and less committal the relationship will be. Now granted not everyone can, will, or should turn to the like strict Catholic Sex after marriage mindset there’s definitely a middle-ground there. My advice is be friends first, then date for happiness, wait on sex until the relationship is solidified and committed, and then if eventually you make it to marriage congrats.
Exactly this. The person who made this post obviously encountered a guy who had different interests than her, so she expressed her frustration that she keeps running into men who share similar interests to him. Your attitude of “just pay attention” is redundant because..obviously? Doesnt decrease the amount of guys who are like this, only makes it easier to spot SOME of them
Are you upset because you think women are CHOOSING this every time? Or because you personally know people who know the guy is bad and go for them anyway? Nowhere in the post did she indicate that she went after him anyway, merely her frustration with encountering yet another just like him.
You’re arguing blindly 🤦🏽♂️ if it’s happening more than once than your at fault for continuing the same pattern yes the guys is 100% at fault for being a prick but still you’re going to them over and over and over and over again knowing what’s to come this issue should be addressed on both ends it’s not just a woman thing
Yeah, she’s had multiple encounters with people LIKE HIM, which WOULD NOT be her fault because they are EVERYWHERE! Maybe she can reduce those encounters through some tricks, sure, but if you’re a girl looking for romance you’re going to bump into guys like this no matter how careful you are
I will say again The post said guys who cannot hold a conversation and just want sex if they cannot hold a conversation that shows lack of interest so right then and there why waste your time continuing and usually if the guy is showing lack of interest like that then his motives are already known
Yeah…she’s talked to guys like this before..so why is this her fault? Why is it her fault for just *encountering* or conversing with guys like this? Because she didn’t pick up on the red flags soon enough? Even the ones who aren’t slick, almost anyone in her demographic will have had to deal with a guy like that by now
every guy ik including myself has ever wanted to only fuck uninteresting mildly attractive women, when they're pretty and they're actually likable to be around you wanna take them out on dates and wanna buy them flowers so if that doesn't happen to you just know that you're the problem