Anonymous #1 2w

i feel you. im 21 and ready to cut ties with her already. i have my own bank account that she doesn’t know about with saved money on it and i can easy get a new phone. she’s an abusive asshole who thrives on control, which it sounds like yours does too

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Anonymous OP 2w

Yep, I’m 18 and I used almost all my money to buy a house with my sister and my parents helped a bit with financing but now she thinks that I owe her the world and it’s HER hour even though my name is on the title hun and she told me today that since I didn’t call her she wasn’t going to tell me about a 3k check that came in my name and she needs me to sign it but she’s going to use it for herself. Like bro I just can’t with her anymore

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Anonymous #1 2w

unh uh you need to take her to court if she does that

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Anonymous #7 2w

what the fuck…

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Anonymous OP 2w

Withdraw all your money from that shared account and put it in the secret one. It’s your money. Ideally get the new phone asap too, with a new number

45

Anonymous OP 2w

have you started slowly putting your money into that account?

8

Anonymous #7 2w

you're an adult. what chan she do if you tell her no? you just have to be financially independent

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Anonymous #13 2w

can*

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Anonymous #15 2w

Me*^ call*^ Independent*^ sorry my autocorrect is on something today

5

Anonymous OP 2w

Venmo from the joint one to yours

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Anonymous #10 2w

You could go to the bank and remove him from your account!!!! That way he won’t have any permission to change the account

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Anonymous kroger 2w

That’s actually perfect because Venmo isn’t insured by the bank so any money that goes there won’t be covered if your parent tries to take it back

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Anonymous #13 2w

Unfortunately i am scared of my mother. I’m just waiting to graduate and leave completely with a job

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Anonymous #13 2w

this is the most uninformed take and I hate it when people say this shit to people with abusive parents. “Just become financially independent” ok so that requires getting a good enough job, getting the info for stuff like if they pay your car insurance (poking the bear with even asking to get that info btw), getting OFF their health/dental/vision insurance plan which is better than anything someone younger could get, getting a new phone plan, and finding a new place to live IN THIS ECONOMY

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Anonymous #16 2w

I’m sorry

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Anonymous mother_russia 2w

I agree with this. They can still send you money just not take ur money

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Anonymous #27 2w

Such a blessing. Praying u have this forever and ever ☺️

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Anonymous #27 2w

I wish dude 🥲

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Anonymous #7 2w

I lost definitely will. My parents get mad when I tell them that I’m not being social as they want me to get out there and experience college and life. I feel so bad that not everyone’s parents are like that cause what do you mean you don’t have two cheerleaders rooting for you no matter what. I am def blessed 🙏

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Anonymous #6 2w

It’s only good till you realize how long it’s been till you talked to them and then you feel so bad

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Anonymous #27 2w

I wish I could feel bad. Like I genuinely with my mom wasn’t awful and didnt abuse me. It’s a blessing. I’m glad you get loving parents though! I don’t wish my narcissistic mother on anyone

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Anonymous #6 2w

I wish everyone had loving parents. I’m so sorry for what you’re dealing with. I would never wish a narcissistic parent on anyone :(

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Anonymous #29 2w

they aren’t 🤯

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Anonymous #29 2w

Your mom clearly didn’t love you

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Anonymous #29 2w

don’t comment shit like that when you don’t have any context

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Anonymous #29 2w

Fr lmao like if ur not independent ur not independent

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Anonymous #29 2w

😂😂😂

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Anonymous #17 2w

Not being independent financially doesn’t mean family can demand what ever they want all of the time. Freedom and personal choice applies even if you aren’t fully supporting yourself and money shouldn’t be used as a way to control others into doing what you want.

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Anonymous #29 2w

I also don’t think you understand what it means when she says she will take the money out of the account, because I have my own bank account with my own money but my parents co-signed for it because I started the account when I was 14 (working age) so the money is mine but they still have access to the account even though I’m the primary owner. You have to go in and fill out paperwork if you want to remove someone from being legally able to access your bank account, like a spouse or parent

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Anonymous #29 2w

It’s not like a parent made an account just to fill it with money for their adult kid. It’s that they still have secondary access to the account because most people only change banks when they settle down in a new city and not in college when they will move again soon.

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Anonymous #29 2w

Sometimes there is valid reason to not talk to family: like you are busy or they are a horrible person. Threatening theft to try to force interaction is NOT how to get your child to want to interact with you.

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Anonymous #33 2w

Why don’t you cut contact? If it’s literally costing you a thousand every month to be controlled by your parents

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Anonymous mother_russia 2w

They refuse to put the car under my name even though I pay for it. I cant move out unless I make my room as though no one lived in it. Meaning I have to pay to get the walls painted, new flooring, etc all done professionally cause they said so. I wish people actually understood how hard it is to find a away out

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Anonymous #33 2w

No I totally understand it’s difficult, I didn’t realize you still lived with them too.

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Anonymous #33 2w

Maybe look at your local government’s bid cite for decommissioned cars or talk to your bank about getting a car loan. If you are paying your family 1k a month that would probably be considered rent so you would be considered a tenant. You could look up local laws on that and see if there are any things that could protect you and so they can’t force you out immediately and need a formal eviction and give a certain amount of time to find a new place

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Anonymous #33 2w

General wear and tear isn’t something they could charge you for if you are a tenant and it’s something they would have to do themselves. Are they claiming you as a dependent?

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Anonymous mother_russia 2w

Dependent on their insurance yea. But they say the 1k I pay them isn’t even rent it’s utilities. I also pay for groceries every other month. My sister only now started having to pay at 27 when I have to start at 22. My sister says it’s fair bc when she was my age she was in Korea for a year. But when she got back she didn’t even have to pay till 27. I’ve said it’s unfair and no one cares

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Anonymous #33 2w

Utilities are a part of rent so you are definitely a tenant. Utilities for one additional person is like 15 bucks depending on where you are. The highest I’ve ever seen for a single person in their own apartment has been $100. $1000 would be high for rent AND utilities combined in many places.

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Anonymous #33 2w

I’m sorry that your family is treating you like that when you sister is treated so differently

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Anonymous mother_russia 2w

Rip it’s ok ig ty tho

1

Anonymous OP 2w

Then remove their access from your account and stop whining.

0

Anonymous #29 2w

damn how can someone like you have zero empathy whatsoever

3