Anonymous #2 17h

🤨 that gives her the right to be a disrespectful POS to her own child? to just take and be rude and greedy and undignified? how is she leading at all by example for her child?

24

Anonymous #2 17h

When you’re renting a room in a home from a landlord they can’t do that. Just bc they’re family doesn’t make it okay

25

Anonymous .gaia. 16h

Yeah but he/she isn’t paying anything, their mom is and he’s being ungrateful

-8

Anonymous #2 16h

you don’t know that?? you’re literally just making assumptions to fit your narrative

29

Anonymous #2 16h

lame af

20

Anonymous #2 16h

Invading privacy, stealing funds, and vandalism are more important than someone’s perception of “gratefulness”

18

Anonymous #2 16h

It’s absolutely reasonable to expect some level of privacy and agency and respect as an adult even within a parent child relationship. As much as they are their parent’s child, they are also a grown adult and entitled to basic respect as an adult

12

Anonymous #5 16h

SHE chose to have a child. Once you have a child it is YOUR responsibility to take care of them. You don’t have to be grateful for what is expected

19

Anonymous #6 16h

Meant to respond that to #2

15

Anonymous #2 14h

see here’s my thing. I am so sick and tired of parents acting like they are owed some level of endless gratitude just for having children and sacrificing for their children. like cut the crap. stop being abusive POS’s to your kids. it’s cruel and unkind and unfair treatment to human beings WHO DIDNT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE. like yes so very grateful that we’re all here now. but the least you can do is pretend to love your children and not act like a POS to them because you resent your own life.

15

Anonymous #2 14h

fucks sake. and you are making assumptions about the situation. you have no idea that OP is being ungrateful.

8

Anonymous #6 14h

Their mom IS taking care of them by providing a roof over their head. If they don’t like it, they can gtfo. If they decide to cut contact that’ll show how ungrateful they really are. They better pay for the emotional harm done on their parents too.

-7

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

They aren’t owed shit. If they don’t like it, they can find another place to live. It’s THEIR house not OP’s.

-7

Anonymous #2 14h

You’ve gotta be ragebaiting right now. Please never have kids.

16

Anonymous #3 14h

Nope. My house, my rules. They can gtfo if they don’t like it.

-6

Anonymous #3 14h

Yeah the expectation of constant gratitude the interpretation requiring that children *never* critique their parents or act against their parents’ wishes is at least coercive and manipulative at best. And that is recognizable as fact whether one supports that stance or not

11

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

*and the

15

Anonymous #6 14h

So I’ve fed my kid for her whole life and now all of a sudden SHES the one who’s entitled? Listen to yourself

-6

Anonymous #2 14h

I feel bad for your future children. I hope you never have kids if you’re going to treat them like that. Your kid makes a small mess so you think it’s perfectly fine to destroy their entire living space because it’s “your house”??? That’s literally so fucked up

14

Anonymous #2 14h

It’s your job to feed your kid btw

14

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

That’s not manipulative, that’s asking for respect, which OP is obviously not giving to her parents. She should be more grateful and you should be too

-6

Anonymous #2 14h

This view puts the value of property above people and dehumanizes adults and children lol

16

Anonymous #2 14h

Grateful for what. Man, I’m not even part of this house

12

Anonymous #2 14h

Yes it is manipulation. It’s a tactic to elicit compliance. Do you not want children to obey and comply? You seem to.

17

Anonymous #2 14h

How am I not giving any kind of respect? What disrespectful action did I do??? I didn’t talk back once, even while she destroyed my room. I gave her the money with a smile on my face, KNOWING she won’t be paying me back any time soon. I let shit happen, knowing that it’s wrong of her. And I’m the disrespectful one???

19

Anonymous OP 14h

In #2’s eyes you’re likely “disrespectful”for harboring these thoughts at all

17

Anonymous OP 14h

I work 100 hour work weeks. I work extremely hard to provide for my children, so yes I think it’s completely acceptable. You should be grateful to have a roof to live under.

-6

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

Then I feel bad for #2. Genuinely sad. Because that’s probably how they were razed. To follow their parents, no questions asked. People like that generally hurt my heart because their parents can HIT them and they’d think it’s fine because it’s their parents. I use to be the same way until i realized how wrong it all was. Some people just never figure it out though

15

Anonymous #6 14h

Some parents don’t work to feed their kids.

-6

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

You can think that if you want

-5

Anonymous #2 14h

I hope your children get the therapy they’ll need when they’re older because they have you as their mother 🙏

15

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

I’m making them comply by making them respect me. They should know it’s my house, not theirs.

-4

Anonymous #2 14h

You’re the type of person to beat the shit out of your kids and say they still have to love you because you are their parent.

17

Anonymous OP 14h

You’re being disrespectful by going behind your parents back and making this post.

-4

Anonymous .gaia. 14h

Yes, they are.

-5

Anonymous #2 14h

Well it sounds like you care more about the house than you would about the kids lol

14

Anonymous OP 14h

It is sad. I’m happy my father raised me to think critically

14

Anonymous #2 14h

“Making them” = coercion

9

Anonymous #2 14h

Oh please. My mom is disrespectful for hurting me and sending me to school with bruises. She’s disrespectful for scratching the shit out of my till my arm bled. SHES the disrespectful one for beating me black and blue for forgetting my schoolbooks on the table. SHES the disrespectful one for punching me in the nose and giving me a bloody nose for thinking I didn’t wear a mask to school even tho I CALMLY told her I did. You can’t tell me how to feel about her, and I have every right to be upset

12

Anonymous #2 14h

They won’t respect you. They just won’t say anything. And this post is evidence that no matter what a parent does they cannot control the thoughts of their children. Your children may very well resent you or hate you and you may never know

11

Anonymous #2 14h

Then they should not be parents. Other people being bad parents does not excuse you from ALSO being a bad parent :)

18

Anonymous OP 14h

Who’s house do you live under?

-5

Anonymous #2 14h

My parents house, but that shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t be treated like shit just because I live there. I shouldn’t be beat, screamed at, and pushed around just because she gives me a bed.

14

Anonymous OP 13h

So move out then

-4

Anonymous #2 13h

And who’s going to pay for that? I have to pay off my student loans. I pay for my books and school supply. I pay for a lot of necessities. I’m trying to work on getting an apartment but I can’t just snap my fingers and magically have a place for myself

13

Anonymous #2 13h

providing basic necessities is your job as a parent. your children don’t have to worship you just because you feed and clothe and house them. thats literally the bare minimum. “why dont my kids talk to me anymore?” -you in the future. fucking ignorant ass

15

Anonymous OP 13h

Could be ~her~ crying 😉

3

Anonymous #5 13h

Feed my children for my whole life, give them whatever clothes, give them a house, and they repay me by not talking to me? Make it make sense.

-5

Anonymous #2 13h

Bare minimum btw

12

Anonymous .gaia. 12h

Owning the house doesn’t give her the right to abuse her children. Feel like that’s an obvious one

14

Anonymous #2 12h

Your (hopefully theoretical) kids won’t talk to you because you were abusive and dehumanizing, saying they should be grateful for basic human rights (like food, water, shelter, privacy). It honestly really sad that parents that think like you don’t do any self reflection or work on your issues. Like please seek therapy for the sake of your children and yourself. This is not normal and you really should seek help from a mental health professional

11

Anonymous #8 12h

And I’m not trying to be mean, I genuinely think you should seek therapy bc I think it could help you understand your children better and why you were conditioned to think this way. I know with my mom a lot is bc of her trauma from childhood that she took out on me and my siblings, continuing the pattern of abuse. If she would just agree to go to therapy our relationship would be much better. I hope you can get the help you need

11

Anonymous #2 11h

Sounds like you’re fine with that scenario lol

9

Anonymous #2 10h

you do realize that by actively engaging in sex, and having someone nut in someone else to end up having a kid means that you are signing on an invisible dotted line that you are responsible for 2 main things: 1) loving your children always and always loving them unconditionally, 2) providing for them and sacrificing for them out of the kindness of your own heart without asking for anything in return so that way other human beings don’t grow up thinking that the love they receive is conditional?

1

Anonymous #2 10h

I hope you know that having children is a philosophically selfish act. while your continuous work that you’re doing is selfless, it still feels self-serving due to the bitterness and resentment growing in your heart toward your children or toward others for voicing their concerns for how unhealthy your mindset sounds. you sound exhausted. you sound like YOU feel unappreciated. you sound like you lack support as a parent. i hope for your sake you heal. I’m sure you are doing your best, and that

5

Anonymous #3 10h

your children do see how hard you work and are grateful for that. the second i grew up and realized how hard my dad always worked,i cried because i realized some of the ways i unknowingly acted ungrateful. but i was a child. I didn’t know any better because he had done such a great job carrying the burden of my life for so long. my mom, on the other hand, has always had a hard time with herself. I finally got her to agree to go to therapy. and she started apologizing to me, which is all I wanted

3

Anonymous #3 10h

I understand the stress you’re under as a parent to provide. but just because your own needs are currently starved and parched, and maybe they have been for a long time, don’t take it out on your kids. they didn’t ask to need you. they didn’t ask to be born. they didn’t ask to be dependents. and yes, gratitude makes the hard weeks worth it. but forced, scared gratitude is empty and worthless for everyone involved. it is not entitlement to not thank our parents every 5 minutes or to question

5

Anonymous #3 10h

whether an action of theirs is actually healthy or not. or to have feelings. or to be human beings ourselves. please heal. if not for your own sake, then for the sake of the mini you’s that are walking around right now, watching you. they are watching you work hard for them. they are watching you and seeing how miserable you are. they are looking to see how you respond. they are seeing how you love. they are following your lead. that is a burden. but it’s also a gift to get to watch them grow.

2

Anonymous #3 10h

I say this as someone: 1) pro-choice, 2) who deeply wants to have children, and 3) is healing from a lot of parental abuse and neglect. js bcuz someone is trying their best doesn’t make actions of theirs unhealthy or uncalled for. and I’m sure there are definitely some days where you sit there and question a lot of things about life. and there are other days where I’m sure it feels defeating that you feel like the main contribution you can give your children is a roof. they need love most.

1

Anonymous #3 10h

I also understand that it can feel especially hard to be an adult and a parent when there aren’t others out there who have your back and are kind to you. so thank you for being the type of parent that makes sure your kids have a roof over their head. thank you for always trying to do right by them. but if someone else’ post about their trauma with their parent makes you react like this, I think it’s time to look inward and see where that reaction is coming from.

1

Anonymous #3 9h

*doesn’t make actions of theirs healthy or justified.

6

Anonymous #3 9h

I WOULD feel unappreciated if my children spoke like this behind my back even when I do everything to provide for them.

-1

Anonymous #2 9h

heal. i said my piece. i was kind and measured. and you’re still acting, honestly, like the entitled one here by continuously ignoring the autonomy of other human beings because you feel entitled to a level of gratitude and respect and appreciation for doing basic everyday tasks that you would be doing with or without having children.

5

Anonymous #2 9h

you know nothing about OP. you’re doing something called “projecting,” which shows a lot of people the pain you’re trying to mask and hide.

4

Anonymous #2 8h

i hate ppl like you. like why even join this community if every time someone vents yall feel the need to invalidate them with ThEiR yOuR pArEnTs… nobody gives af. shut up

7

Anonymous #2 8h

god pls never have kids

3

Anonymous #2 8h

THATS LITERALLY YOUR JOB AS A PARENT🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ you chose to have them they don’t owe you anything for doing the bare minimum, especially if you’re a toxic rude butthole of a parent. fastest route to no contact once they get older

11

Anonymous #9 8h

literally my dad has had many many many conversations with my mom about how she shouldn’t treat me like X because I’m terrified of her and won’t want a relationship or contact with her in the future.

1

Anonymous #2 1h

Oh you’re fucking awful for justifying literal physical abuse because they live in the same house. Sounds like you abuse your kids and think you’re still a great parent because you’re doing the bare minimum bc you’re legally required to take care of them. Something is horribly wrong with you and your kids will be going no contact someday.

1

Anonymous #2 1h

They’re not gonna talk to you because of the abuse you think is okay just because you financially provide what you’re required to. That’s not the only part of being a parent. That’s not loving your kids. House and materialistic things ≠ love and care. You need help and your kids do too given how you think about them.

1