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any bsd fans? thoughts on this? i think the first part is very awkward tbh but the rest is better, im just not sure if its actually good or not lol

His Sweetened Breath, and His Tongue so Mean - orphan_account - 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs [Archive of Our Own]

archiveofourown.org

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Anonymous 10w

Update: read it now! I feel like your detail work is great especially in the first and last scenes. I do feel like you can do a little more with the dialogue - you have a lot of floating quotations (for example: “Chuuya, talk to me. Please.“) and I think the tense for the Corruption segment would be better if it wasn’t present tense as it’s a mix of Chuuya reflecting on how he feels whenever he uses it and how it feels in that time

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

thank you! that’s helpful, i appreciate it

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

Of course! I’m sorry for my previous misunderstanding 🙇‍♀️

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

nono it’s completely fine! i understand where the confusion was and im glad you were gonna say smthn when it seemed like i was being rude lol! thanks again🫶

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