Anonymous #1 2w

I also want to know beforehand.

42

Anonymous #2 2w

it’s still polite to give notice tho

536

Anonymous #3 2w

esp if it was only gonna be the 2 of u

222

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0

Anonymous #2 2w

“Just be normal and socialize” bro doesn’t understand social anxiety, or any sort of disability that may include social anxiety Nor does he understand basic decency…

229

Yeah sure all that but give a heads up first

219

Are you this dense? Nobody is disagreeing with you yet you continue to defend ur claim. Does your brain not work at all?

89

Even in a relationship, your partner can have other friends. AND it’s still courteous to notify the person you made a plan with that you’re changing the plan and bringing other people

107

i think the self centered perspective is when you invite people without letting your friend know beforehand

33

The inconvenience of sending a text message is tiny compared to the inconvenience of being put in a social anxiety inducing situation

20

Anonymous #16 2w

LMFAO all men do is whine and complain, he maybe just wouldn’t put it on yikyak

26

Anonymous #7 2w

W cap😭😭😭

3

Anonymous #2 2w

This doesn’t work for people who have social anxiety, especially if they’re going out with someone they deem safe and is easy to socialize with. It just makes the whole encounter awkward for everyone involved. No they don’t need to tell in advance but it’s courtesy, apparently you don’t have any.

26

Anonymous #17 2w

have fun navigating life with that sentiment

-12

Anonymous #2 2w

Imma just assume you’re dumb as fuck and can’t comprehend. No one’s disagreeing with you homeboy, you just wanna bark the loudest 🤣

24

Anonymous #2 2w

It’s a mental disorder of course it makes life hard to navigate, that’s how mental disorders work💀

21

Anonymous #2 2w

As an autistic person, I would really appreciate the heads up because it allows me to prepare myself and regulate my emotions so I can be more palatable to broader society. If I’m not able to prepare, I won’t be able to be the “normal person” everyone wants me to be. Hope this helps!

52

Anonymous #19 2w

It’s not even about that tho purposefully throwing a tantrum tho? It’s like if you check the weather app and it says it’s gonna be sunny, but then go out and right then it starts pouring rain and thunder. It’s completely unexpected and very clearly dampens your mood when you would been perfectly fine if the weather app had said it was gonna rain. And yes you cover yourself with your computer bag, but you’re still wet from the rain. Does that make sense??

14

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0

Anonymous #12 2w

Are we trying to say hanging out with someone is smth you can’t complain about or else you’re not being grateful?

15

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0

Anonymous #20 2w

just be yourself bro do not change for any set group of people, you’ll find the most happiness if you just be yourself

-7

Being anti social is a form of social anxiety. it might be shocking to hear but just because you do not have social anxiety despite having other forms of anxiety, that does not mean that social anxiety does not exist. the world is so much bigger than our individual perception is capable of experiencing.

54

Anonymous #8 2w

Nah many are disagreeing because that’s simply a bullshit thing to say “just be normal” that’s ableist as fuck btw

24

Before phones people were either called anti social or they hospitalized for shit like that And by shit like that I mean mental disabilities

50

Keep diggin your grave dude you sound ableist as fuck…and ignorant

21

Anonymous #21 2w

Ignoring the person they brought along with them is quite literally throwing a tantrum like using your example if it does start raining you not gonna sit there all mad your gonna get up and keep on moving you still got places to be you can still hang out with the person you initial want to without being childish to the other person.

5

Anonymous #5 2w

If it did they wouldn’t have kept commenting…

1

Anonymous #23 2w

i’m also autistic and that’s… not how that works

14

Anonymous #29 2w

Idk what ur talking about but yes it is

-7

Anonymous #8 2w

Quickly, what does the S in ASD stand for

8

Anonymous #14 2w

Did you not just see me say idk what the conversation is abt at all? Are you an idiot or smt

-7

Anonymous #5 2w

Acting like people tryna kill you bye

-16

Anonymous #23 2w

“Just stand up even if your legs don’t work” ahh take 🫩🥀 Being yourself isn’t always that easy when you’re literally a disabled person.

5

Anonymous #12 2w

i hope we never meet

7

Anonymous #19 2w

hi i’m autistic. my brain disables me from a lot of things socially that are simple for you. i would want to talk to your friend but may not be able to. you do not understand how much harder that is than a one on one hangout with a friend. with no warning it’s a big jump, sometimes i don’t have the capacity. i am upset that no one understands and i am upset because i wish i could talk.

3

Anonymous #31 2w

Hi, I completely understand your perspective of this I do apologize for not taking it into account I was mostly responding to the person who made the post and they were saying how they wouldn’t talk to the other person out of spite not really due to a disorder

0

Anonymous #19 1w

I think a lot of people are taking this as like straight up stonewalling the other person invited, but my assumption was not that dramatic. I’m also autistic & really awkward with new people & usually end up saying some mega dumb shit, so I probably would be quieter & really conscious of how I’m being perceived (which makes it way less enjoyable too) HOWEVER if they talked to me I’m not gonna act like they aren’t there! Ofc I’ll be polite & nice to them, I just probably wouldn’t INITIATE -

9

Anonymous #33 1w

-bc I’d be scared to let something idiotic slip lol. It’s not even like “oh boo hoo I’m insecure & intimidated about some small amount of awkward silence” which I feel like a lotttt of people are insinuating here. I have my cat’s uterus in my fridge. I say shit like that OUT LOUD before ppl get to know me enough to know I’m not fuckin insane. Ykwim??? (I work in vet med but see it’s way more jarring to hear someone say that before knowing that about them, isn’t it? And that make things awk AF)

11

“I’ve been depressed and have had severe anxiety my whole life” “That shit was made for snowballs” Okay pal so which is it? Are you a “snowball”? Or are you a fucking idiot, just full of shit?

2

Anonymous #35 1w

There’s the issue. Some people don’t have that innate ability to just walk up and start a conversation, especially after covid. It can be nerve wracking if you have social anxiety

9

Anonymous #35 1w

See the objection here isn’t that someone else is being included. The objection is the lack of consideration and communication from the friend. Which makes it hilarious that you mention “not wanting to socialize” bc the person bringing the extra person is the one who can’t communicate

6

Anonymous #19 1w

tbh i don’t really think they meant it out of spite

2

Anonymous #19 1w

but thanks for hearing me out

2

Anonymous #36 1w

actually unless you’re mute, everyone does. people just don’t want to step out of their comfort zone anymore because they got used to rotting during covid. it might be a little uncomfortable but rest assured everyone has that ability.

-1

Anonymous #9 1w

are people really so emotionally fragile here that this would be an issue? it just seems insane to me

-2

Anonymous #35 1w

what a strange way for one to coddle their own arrogance, ego, and lack of empathy. you do you ig?

3

Anonymous #24 1w

so inviting an extra person to a hangout in your mind is an example of arrogance, ego, and a lack of empathy? weird way to say you’re a friendless, antisocial freak. you do you ig?

-1

Anonymous #35 1w

no, your comments are an example of arrogance, ego, and a lack of empathy. you dumbass lmfao I did not even say anything about the original topic of inviting other friends, I directly responded to your dismissive and selfish comments.

3

Anonymous #35 1w

talk about avoiding accountability sheesh

2

Anonymous #35 1w

I don’t think wanting a basic level of communication and respect is emotionally fragile. It’s interesting that you do think that. It’s not bad that they invited someone else, it’s bad that they didn’t consult the person they made plans with first before doing so.

4

Anonymous #38 1w

why “mentally prepare” to go hangout with friends

-4

Anonymous #2 1w

Neurodivergent and depressed people exist. Hope this helps! 🥰

6

Anonymous #2 1w

as much as i love my friends, i do have some friends who require more mental energy than others. expecting something chill and walking into something you didn’t mentally prepare for is just exhausting. i also have mutual friends that i don’t particularly like but will tolerate because that’s what social graces dictate. people like that always need some mental preparation.

6

Anonymous #2 1w

I wish I could be as blissfully ignorant as you

6

Anonymous #2 1w

or... you can grow up and not be a lil bitch. welcome to the real world.

-7

Anonymous #41 1w

You’re so tuff I bet you feel so sigma phonk Andrew Tate saying that cold tuff quip.

2

Anonymous #19 1w

“Ignoring the person they brought along with them is quite literally throwing a tantrum” … no it’s not? I’m confused. They’re actually quite literally not the same.

-2

Anonymous #39 6d

why is bro getting downvoted?? communication is most DEFINITELY a 2 way street.

1

Anonymous #20 6d

what cause people are gonna make fun of you? If they make fun of you for acting the way you act then first of all they are dickheads and second of all you know not to go hangout with those people ever again. the only way your gonna find your people is by being yourself and not trying to change so that you can be the “perfect person” NO ONE is perfect i guarantee that

0

Anonymous #39 6d

Right. And presumably, since the plan was just between them, they did know who was going. And then the friend changed the plan without consulting OP without communicating. So YES communication is a 2 way street and the friend dropped the ball.

3

Anonymous #9 6d

Eh, i’d say either or both sides dropped the ball. OPs friend probably still doesn’t even know there’s an issue because they decided to vent here instead of having a simple conversation 🤷‍♀️

4

Anonymous #39 6d

Exactly, a simple “hey I’m not comfortable with that.” Goes a long way instead of js posting abt it.

1