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Girl Talk 2w
Anyone into psychology? Why am I more insecure now w my current bf than I was w my ex. And my ex treated me like shit. and for some reason now I wanna like flee before my current bf can hurt me and I’ve never been like that
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Anonymous 2w

previous bad experiences can influence how you experience new relationships. it's pretty normal to be insecure after dealing with a toxic relationship

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Anonymous 2w

I’m sure this will be partly regurgitated from what Ellie said but it is normal to experience that when you enter a healthy relationship after a toxic one. I find myself waiting for the shoes to drop and then I become the one throwing shoes (figuratively) because my subconscious finds it easier to find reasons to be unhappy about something than to just let myself be happy and accept someone’s kindness for what it is. I don’t know if you’re the same way obviously but if you are, my advice is

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Anonymous replying to -> ellie 2w

attachment styles—although relatively stable can change with experience. my guess would be that the trauma or emotional unavailability you experienced while in that relationship has shifted you towards a more avoidant attachment to preemptively address the possibility of future harm. also im totally an armchair psychologist here (i only have my bachelors in psych and am in school currently for my masters in SW) so take anything here with a grain of salt as I'm not yet a professional.

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Anonymous replying to -> ellie 2w

No I really appreciate any insight. I value anyone’s opinion whether it is backed by fact or not so thank you. I’ve just been so… “crazy gf” stereotype lately and I honestly feel bad but can’t wrap around why I feel that way. Like my ex would hang w other girls and I’m p sure he cheated on me and now when I see my current bf typing I get scared. I also went through his phone and an old girl co worker texted him and he didn’t tell me so I honestly felt old emotions brought up.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2w

honestly it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on why exactly you feel the way you do. you're off balance—which is completely understandable after what you've experienced—and it's probably going to take some time existing in a stable relationship and maintaining open communication to work through it.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

to stop trying to find… problems? I’m not sure what the correct word would be but you get the idea. Don’t wait for shoes to drop, but it might take some time in a stable relationship to stop that mindset.

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

Yeah unfortunately I’m definitely the one throwing shoes. There’s just so much we’ve both been going through so all of this on top of that makes me wanna legit ghost and I’ve never even been like that. I dont know. Thank you

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Anonymous replying to -> ellie 2w

I just hope I don’t push my current bf away. I asked if he hated me like slightly as a joke and he said “stop or you’re gonna speak it into existence” so… I feel like I’m already doing that

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 2w

i don't want to offer unsolicited advice, but i'd just say be communicative about what you're feeling and why you're doing the things you are.

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