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Girl Talk 17w
i need genuine advice y’all TW: CSA, ABUSE, TRANSPHOBIA
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16
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Anonymous 17w

so when i was 11 i was bullied for being a trans girl so i wore feminine clothes in secret. that summer my cousin came over and he found out. my memories of that time were hazy but we bonded over dressing femininely.

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Anonymous 16w

i’m so sorry

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Anonymous 16w

hey friend, i’m sorry all that happened to you. regardless on if something more happened what he did do was not good at all. i don’t think anyone else would be able to tell you if something more happened that you don’t remember. it’s possible, but there’s really no way of knowing. i do wonder if certain types of therapy would be able to help you work through that stuff/uncover repressed memories. i would recommend doing some research and going that route if you can, i’m sorry ❤️

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Anonymous 16w

I’m so sorry that happened to you, even if you don’t remember it or aren’t sure if it happened, your feelings are valid. It’s okay to sit down and sift through what you can remember, preferably with a therapist. Our brains are weird, especially in childhood and they try to protect us any way they can, sometimes that means hiding the evidence of anything bad. Your cousin shouldn’t have used you as a therapist, especially since you were a younger child. You deserved better. I’m so sorry

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

but over time he told me more and more concerning stuff like how he had a big fear and an ed. i was the only person he told that stuff to. he was 15. i was 11.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

later that trip he made me do something that traumatized me. he gave me $20 and made me buy a bra for him inside victoria’s secret. i remember everyone’s stares and how vulnerable and alone i felt. i left but for the rest of the trip while i acted normal i was *scared*.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

my parents caught me dressing up and he threw me under the rug saying he had nothing to do with it. i told my parents what happened. this is the full story as far as i know but some things don’t add up.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

my memories of that time were hazy. since i was young (and especially starting around that time) i became hypersexual, using porn to cope with my depression and constantly thinking sexually. i felt a strange close bond to him that i never felt with anyone. i wanted his validation for a time. even when he came back a few summers later, i wanted that validation and hung out with him.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

i’m wondering, did something more happen? was i sexually abused and did i repress those memories? could it have happened before then?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

i never said anything like that to my parents around that time. for a time they didn’t want to tell my aunt about the victoria’s secret thing because she was already going through domestic abuse (a decision i will never forgive them for) but since then they’ve gone no contact with him.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

one thing i’m realizing is what if he saw me undressed??? i don’t remember. i can’t remember.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17w

tl;dr he made me go through a (relatively tame) traumatic experience but the way i acted after that time and the way i think of that time makes me wonder if he could’ve sexually abused me.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 16w

🫂

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 16w

All of this is coming from the perspective of someone who was sexually abused by an older sibling when I was 3-8 and didn’t realize until recently what had actually happened back then and how very wrong it was.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 16w

i am so sorry and i hope we can both get past this ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 16w

i’m really considering hypnotherapy but for now i’m gonna talk to my therapist about it when i see her on tuesday. thank you so much 🩷

upvote 6 downvote