hey friend, i’m sorry all that happened to you. regardless on if something more happened what he did do was not good at all. i don’t think anyone else would be able to tell you if something more happened that you don’t remember. it’s possible, but there’s really no way of knowing. i do wonder if certain types of therapy would be able to help you work through that stuff/uncover repressed memories. i would recommend doing some research and going that route if you can, i’m sorry ❤️
I’m so sorry that happened to you, even if you don’t remember it or aren’t sure if it happened, your feelings are valid. It’s okay to sit down and sift through what you can remember, preferably with a therapist. Our brains are weird, especially in childhood and they try to protect us any way they can, sometimes that means hiding the evidence of anything bad. Your cousin shouldn’t have used you as a therapist, especially since you were a younger child. You deserved better. I’m so sorry
my memories of that time were hazy. since i was young (and especially starting around that time) i became hypersexual, using porn to cope with my depression and constantly thinking sexually. i felt a strange close bond to him that i never felt with anyone. i wanted his validation for a time. even when he came back a few summers later, i wanted that validation and hung out with him.
i never said anything like that to my parents around that time. for a time they didn’t want to tell my aunt about the victoria’s secret thing because she was already going through domestic abuse (a decision i will never forgive them for) but since then they’ve gone no contact with him.