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Girl Talk 4w
I love my bf and we’ve been together for a long time but the other night he said that pegging made a man gay. It’s not serious but I asked him about it and it’s originating from a toxic masculinity belief that being submissive to a woman is less…
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Anonymous 4w

fellow bi girl here.. for starters these comments are weird asf, second i would absolutely be concerned about his beliefs being harmful to you and/or other people/groups you care about. too many straight men fetishize bi women and i’ve had an ex who said he “didn’t understand but was trying to” (he was not).

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 4w

Manly. And he said he would see a man as less than a man if he was getting pegged. And it’s both homophobia and sexism fueling this. And he stopped himself a few times in the conversation saying that he couldn’t say what he was about to say, and that concerned me.

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Anonymous 4w

Gender essentialism is a disease 🫩

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Anonymous 4w

I almost forgot the most important detail. He said that getting pegged by a woman is more gay/less manly than actual gay sex.

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Anonymous 4w

I mean it kinda does though, or at least that is a less many thing to do.

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Anonymous 4w

It’s not gay because it’s less manly it’s gay because he wants something up his ass and that is inherently queer and will always be associated with gays. Getting fucked is mainly as fuck if you think about trad views of masculinity.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

He used the phrase “yeah I know it’s toxic but it doesn’t really affect me [there for it’s not worth changing]” and now I’m honestly asking myself if this is the same guy I’ve been dating. Because where is the compassion? And what about the people around you that it affects?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

And I’m wondering if he is hiding other things he believes from me. The thought never crossed my mind in my years of dating him but now I’m worried.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Is one conversation over such a random silly topic really that serious?

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Yeah I mean I don’t think it makes him gay but it does make a man less many for sure

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

“Less manly” how? What makes someone manly? Being on top? Being dominant? Penetration? And gay is NOT interchangeable with “less manly”

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Yeah exactly that, being submissive is less many for sure

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

You can’t even type out manly. Who are you to define what makes someone more or less manly?

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Not the toxic masculinity in girltalk rn 🤮 that’s the same belief that says being dominant makes a woman less feminine.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

I totally get people associating anal with men being queer, like yeah that the most common instance of that kind of sex BUT it’s just stereotyped like that. It’s like calling clitoral stimulation gay because it’s not penetration or a woman trans for pegging a man or a lesbian taking a strap on actually straight because it’s a penis shape penetrating her. Like the only thing that actually makes someone gay is wanting sex with another man.

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

What’s even weirder is that I talked to him about that very topic a few weeks ago and he didn’t say anything about it then??? Like literally the exact topic of pegging being gay or not.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

I’m not saying pegging is gay I’m saying it’s queer tho as in not belonging to traditional gender and sexual roles. Queer meaning odd or different.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

“Toxic masculinity” what a weird way to say that you’re uncomfortable with men being manly, as a man is supposed to be.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 4w

Ew wtf

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Ofc he’s hiding other thoughts and opinions. And I’m sure you don’t tell him all of your thoughts and opinions having a difference in belief and opinions can be healthy in a relationship it just depends on if you’re willing to accept the difference.

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 4w

Yeah girl i dont know wtf these mfs on about… every comment has my mouth dropped. Weird attitudes for sure…

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Anonymous replying to -> #3 4w

I actually do tell him when I disagree on any topic and actively hiding your opinions from your partner is not a good thing. Disagreeing on things isn’t a fear of mine but specific to the mindset of homosexuality (I’m bisexual) and feminism/toxic masculinity, I don’t want to marry someone who I disagree with fundamentally on things so important to me.

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Anonymous replying to -> #5 4w

you’ll be better off trying to have a real heart to heart with him, and if he’s not willing to address his mindset or even talk to you about how he really thinks, it might be time to think about whether he’s really the one for you :(

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Anonymous replying to -> #6 4w

100%

upvote 3 downvote