Yes I will go to a tennis match with you I’m sorry I just have been so angry lately and it feels like no one is listening to me when I say what I want and what I’m okay with in any part of my life and I desperately want human connection and to be treated as a person and a girl to woo

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I wish I could control my anger about it all but I don’t know how to deal with it in healthy ways and all these strangers get so overwhelming and overbearing demanding things I don’t have or want. I wish I could just allow myself to leave them alone and exist when I need but so many times I’ve had men ghost me for not responding quick enough and I know it’s stupid to put stock in them bc they clearly didn’t want me anyways but just WAIT please I’m so tired

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I can’t figure out my feelings with any of this, or any of the men because I’ve wrapped myself up and they all blend together. I was okay being single and ready to be in a relationship and had so many moments where it felt like I met someone and we clicked just for him to claim something got in the way or ghost

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Genuinely am I too naive to believe that they liked me at all? How do you fake looking at me like that when you think my eyes are closed, how can one video call go from telling me you see a future together to talking about me like I’m ass to fuck simply because I can’t have kids. It makes me feel so worthless. He looked at me and told me that even if it wasn’t important to me it was to him. I would kill to be able to have kids, I want to love someone so much and give that to him but I just never

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I’m just so confused about other people and I feel so broken trying to fix things in my life

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Here’s a cookie if you read my diary I guess

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