Anonymous #1 16h

A lot of girls will say “well what about girl code” when I hate on them for cheating on their boyfriend. I agree, it’s basics human decency to tell a guy if he’s being cheated on

89

Anonymous OP 16h

I’ve heard of girl code for cheating husbands where they’ll leave like a hair under the pillow or something to indicate they were there

57

Anonymous #2 15h

Well then there was no harm done 🤷‍♀️

19

Anonymous #6 14h

Girl just say you cheat on your man

18

Anonymous #1 14h

😂

5

Anonymous #6 14h

If you say I’m breaking girl code by being a descent person and telling a man he’s being cheated on, then yeah fuck girl code

10

Anonymous #1 14h

I do and I think more girls should #womeninmaledominatedfields

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Anonymous #6 14h

I hope he leaves you girl, you’re a pos.

17

Anonymous #7 13h

the friend and the boyfriend were pissed she didn’t talk to her first

14

Anonymous #2 13h

That’s always so weird to me, like if one of my friends thought I was cheating and snitched I’d be glad. We should want friends who are good people above being blindly loyal to you

17

Anonymous #1 13h

Well she could’ve just asked to make sure it was actually cheating

7

Anonymous #1 12h

He won’t cause he’ll never know 💅

-2

Anonymous #6 12h

Cheating is loser behavior and I hope he knows he can do better than your sorry ass <3 hope you find help and fix whatever validation problems you have diva

14

Anonymous #6 12h

Why wouldn’t you just break up tho….

10

Anonymous #10 12h

Cause cheating’s the point. If I’m not in a relationship I can’t cheat

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Anonymous #6 12h

That’s disgusting. Your character is foul.

10

Anonymous #1 12h

if one of my friends snitched on me to my boyfriend who she doesn’t even know before even bringing it up to me i’d be annoyed. doing the work of finding the boyfriend and telling him before even bringing it up with your friend feels like you don’t care enough to actually try to convince your friend to tell him herself.

17

Anonymous #2 12h

Ok. But if my bf was cheating and his friend came and told me then I’d be appreciative. I feel like it’s really easy to say well that’s annoying but it wouldn’t be if someone was informing you.

12

Anonymous #10 12h

This. Golden rule. Even when there were situations that I couldn’t prove. I just told them what I saw and let them do the rest of the investigation as to how bad it actually was.

11

Anonymous #10 12h

They have to be trolling, it’s def giving someone’s not getting enough attention at home..

13

Anonymous #8 12h

Girl if I’m cheating why would I be honest to my friend about it 😭

5

Anonymous #2 12h

I didn’t realize some people have friendships where they’re friends and bf are kept separate. All of my friends know my bf. But even if an acquaintance who didn’t really know me or him thought something was up, I’d have a lot of respect for them. Me and my boyfriend are mature enough we could talk it out and see how the miscommunication could occur w/o being instantly rash so it’s not really an issue 🤷‍♀️

5

Anonymous #1 12h

Exactly. It’s weird asf to not know your significant others friends. It’s like not knowing their parents. They’re people they care about.

6

Anonymous #10 12h

I know!! And it’s like ofc I’d want my mans friends to tell me if they were worried. I must rather that and catch a miscommunication early on while it can be discussed less emotionally than way down the line finding out and feeling lied to by multiple people. Yall gotta watch Why Women Kill fr

7

Anonymous #1 12h

Agreed. The girls in here that are saying “ I wouldn’t say anything if I knew” are just as bad as the cheater. Letting a guy play in some girls face like that.

3

Anonymous #10 12h

Ik like I’m not even that religious but yall all going to hell for this y’all deplorable 😭 I get loyalty to our girls and all but you have to draw a line SOMEWHERE

4

Anonymous #12 11h

Ok but that shows your character and lack of morals not anyone else’s.

4

Anonymous #10 11h

Whatever girl, I just can’t care about a male that much. Yall are just a bunch of birds 🤷‍♀️

3

Anonymous #12 11h

Ok so what if your friends a lesbian and her gf cheats on her ??

5

Anonymous #12 11h

I’m not a bird, genuinely didn’t even think about the fact some girls probably use telling a guy he’s being cheated on as an “in”. In that case the girl who cheated and the girl who took advantage of it are both wrong

1

Anonymous #1 11h

Correct, I’m not saying cheating is right bc it’s not but I wouldn’t go behind my friends back

1

Anonymous #10 11h

If the other one cheated on MY friend then I’m telling my friend

1

Anonymous #12 11h

If your friend cheated they’re a POS. Idc if they’re dating a girl or a guy. You should tell the person who’s being cheated on that it’s happening. And if you don’t you’re a pos too.

0

Anonymous #10 11h

Boo hoo 😢

1

Anonymous #6 11h

Hell yeah

-1

Anonymous #12 11h

You’re right. It’s genuinely sad you have no morals. I feel sorry for you. You deserve to be cheated on for being a pos.

8

Anonymous #12 10h

This really is giving the same energy as people who don’t speak on abuse because it’s someone they like or in the family. Self reflect.

6

Anonymous #1 10h

My thoughts exactly.

3

Anonymous #1 10h

No it’s not 😭 you guys are so absorbed with what other people are doing. Worry about yourself, if you don’t like the way someone else acts OH WELL. it’s not ur job to fix them

0

Anonymous #12 10h

You’re right. If someone murders someone “oh well” those are someone else’s actions. 😂😂 so instead of testifying you should just walk away. You can’t fix people

5

Anonymous #12 10h

I’m not gonna fix anyone, but I’m gonna let someone know what their partner is doing because I’m not a piece of shit and id want someone to do the same for me. I want my friends to have morals, not be blindly loyal to each other no matter what. Same kind of energy of if you ask if a top looks good on you and everyone agrees even if it’s objectively unflattering.

6

Anonymous #1 10h

This is weird tho bc how you know they are doing it in good faith or not.

2

Anonymous #13 10h

Well that’s why you talk to your partner about it. I’m not saying a friend saying something is 100% concrete proof, but if you see a friend doing something you feel is likely cheating it’s better to reach out and make them aware. How they handle it from there is up to them. It’s like seeing a crime happen and thinking “well maybe it wasn’t a crime” and not reporting it yknow?

1

Anonymous #1 10h

Yeah, no, I disagree with this. If my friend is acting a certain way, I'm going to call them out on their behavior. If they understand and do the same, why would I do that? If they do it again after we have had a conversation, I would tell them I think they should have this conversation with their partner. I find it super controlling and weird to insert myself into someone else's romantic relationship. There's a boundary there that should be placed.

-1

Anonymous #1 10h

Comparing it to a crime is also absolutely bizarre, especially since people are victimized every day and have the choice to report what happened to them or not. If you have had that conversation more than twice with your friend and nothing has changed, it's time to change your friend group.

0

Anonymous #13 10h

The crime thing is an extreme analogy to kind of show what I mean when I say it seems weird to be an outsider and see something definitely wrong and not speak up on it. If you want to bring it up to your friend first, sure that’s fine. But if you know they haven’t stopped you should save someone from wasting years of their life by letting them know what you know. I don’t think you have to go in guns blazing, but soemthing as simple as “I saw x doing this, I don’t know if it was anything but -

3

Anonymous #1 10h

-it feels wrong to not speak up.” If you were being cheated on, you’d want to be told wouldn’t you? It just seems odd how many people are adamant they hide cheaters.

4

Anonymous #13 10h

It was meant to be extreme. That was the point. To show that you should still speak up.

7

Anonymous #1 10h

Not hiding anything when addressing the person who may be crossing boundaries. Again, why put yourself in a position where you could be in danger?

0

Anonymous #13 10h

What? Like I Genuinely don’t understand what you’re saying

5

Anonymous #10 10h

You can't use crime as an example when multiple victims are unrepresented.

0

Anonymous #13 10h

And whose fault is that. Someone prolly shoulda stood up and said something.

2

Anonymous #1 10h

If you think your friend is doing something wrong/crossing boundaries, talk to THEM, not their partner, because that can be dangerous.

4

Anonymous #13 10h

How is it dangerous? Like in the “shoot the messenger” way? I’m not saying go meet up, you could even send a group message to them both. Hell, tell someone you have good faith in that’s close to the person being cheated on if that feels better.

7

Anonymous #13 10h

Ok but we had a girl in my school get cheated on and start self harming cause it continued for like 2 years and no one told her and then it came out and she tried to commit because she felt like no one had her back. Point is tell the person that’s being done dirty. Have morals.

5

Anonymous #1 10h

I think she means in like a domestic violence way. Like if you told the bf then he’d hit the gf or something. Idk.

11

Anonymous #10 10h

Ohh that makes more sense. In that case I do understand talking to the friend a lot more. Maybe let them know you’re going to tell their partner if they don’t but offer to at the very least be there for her in case it does get violent.

4

Anonymous OP 10h

That’s just cheaters trying to use girl code to hide from consequences

10

Anonymous #10 9h

my bf doesn’t know a lot of my friends bc we’re long distance (i don’t know a lot of his friends either). your partner and you can have seperate lives.

1

Anonymous #2 9h

Yeah no ofc, me and my bf are long distance. But they know of the guy and can very easily find him through my social media

3

Anonymous #2 9h

Well the whole point of you having a partner is to build a life together…. So no I don’t want to live separate lives 😂.

7

Anonymous #10 9h

well obviously they know about him and my closest friends have met him over the phone or in person if that was possible. but what i mean is they’re not his friends, they’re mine. and that’s okay.

5

Anonymous #2 9h

Ok. Well my friends and his friends we all can hangout as a group. Sooo I think that’s pretty normal.

6

Anonymous #1 9h

Experiencing a crime and choosing whether to report it is up to them. No one is forcing victims to report.

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Anonymous #1 9h

Why wouldn't you talk to your friend first before doing this, so it doesn't backfire on you? Because this is exactly how you put yourself at risk, LMFAO.

0

Anonymous #13 9h

Yeah my point is like, you’re witnessing something morally wrong happening and not stepping up, why aren’t you getting this. I do understand your overall message now and get what you mean. If you’re concerned over their safety yeah I understand not telling the partner they’re being cheated on. But if it’s just out of blind loyalty for your friend, that’s wrong imo.

5

Anonymous #10 9h

Bc at the end of the day, this is a completely dangerous and harmful situation in so many ways. She needed to get help, not hear that she was being cheated on; regardless, it's about being able to recoup and get back up, regardless of what some shitty person did.

0

Anonymous #10 9h

You can't make it black-and-white like that. Victims are allowed to experience crimes without reporting them, lol- what?

4

Anonymous #10 9h

I don’t think they understand analogy

1

Anonymous #13 9h

There’s no change without people making a stand.

0

Anonymous #10 9h

Stepping up responsibly means talking to your friend, not their partner, so you don't put yourself or your friend at risk. Regardless, you don't know what goes on in someone else's relationship based on what they tell you, so don't insert yourself into it.

-1

Anonymous #1 9h

I don’t either. This is stupid.

3

Anonymous #13 9h

Don’t be a cheating piece of shit …. It’s that easy. Nobody has to say anything if it’s not happening!!!

5

Anonymous #10 9h

Nobody needs to insert themselves into other people's relationships, especially when they aren't in that relationship. Stop putting your friends at risk🤣

0

Anonymous #10 9h

i’m not saying our friends can’t hang out because they wouldn’t get along we just live several hours apart. so they haven’t.

3

Anonymous #13 9h

You’re actually dumb and it’s ridiculous

6

Anonymous #13 9h

Ok I get the concern for safety I think that’s a really good point I didn’t consider. My issue is with people who enable their cheating freinds just out of loyalty, not concern for their safety or anything. And again there’s way to step in and prevent someone from losing their life to a cheater without it being inherently unsafe.

5

Anonymous #10 9h

As someone who went to trial, testified, and got a guilty verdict, I don't want anyone to have to come forward with something they aren't 100% comfortable with, lol.

0

Anonymous #2 9h

Okay…. I’m sorry but I’m not sure how this has anything to do with cheating tho. If that’s not your situation great. But I said from my point of view I would tell my friend’s bf. If she was cheating

4

Anonymous #10 9h

you were saying it’s weird to have friends who aren’t friends with your partner, i was just saying that it’s not

4

Anonymous #13 9h

Okay. I know personally and friends that have been SAed and we choose to come forward instead of just sitting back. We weren’t comfortable but it made the guy face his consequences

1

Anonymous #2 9h

Nope not what I said… check again.

1

Anonymous #10 9h

Dumb you can't see the point I'm making.

1

Anonymous #1 9h

I have an issue with that, too. As a good friend, communicate what you are doing instead of taking steps without their knowledge to protect both of your safety.

2

Anonymous #13 9h

I think it’s invalid and ridiculous tbh. This is about telling someone about the cheater.

3

Anonymous #10 8h

genuinely it doesn’t matter, but i’m lowk disgusted by your lack of empathy for victims of sa who don’t report. cornel is one of many examples of the fact that most reports lead to no consequences and only retraumatize survivors.

6

Anonymous #2 8h

I was a victim of sa. But I’m not anymore. Yea of course it’s unfortunate and it shouldn’t happen but without reporting and coming forward you’re putt other women at risk. If you put your abuser away they can’t reoffend.

1

Anonymous #2 8h

Also things continue to come out about that case.

2

Anonymous #1 8h

mine knows and i blocked him after and he still stayed after i unblocked him

1

Anonymous #6 8h

Yeah you are a loser

-1

Anonymous #17 8h

Bc you both have miserable ass lives?

-1

Anonymous #10 7h

If it's gonna put your friend in danger to satisfy your moral needs, then so be it. You can be the reason your friend gets beaten because you want to be involved in their relationship so badly.

3