Anonymous #1 12h

Yeah??

1

Anonymous OP 12h

I know it sounds like a silly question but I just have to ask yk 😭 I wasn’t sure if it was healthy jitters, or anxiety that protects you from something you don’t want to do. I guess exposure therapy is my advice, see him until it becomes second nature. Do you have anxiety?

1

Anonymous #1 12h

I do have anxiety 😭 he knows this and is so sweet. I’ve never had a bf before or done anything and that’s why I’m anxious. I was definitely more of a protective anxiety at first, but now I want to do stuff with him, I’m just so anxious that it’s hard for me to communicate that with him (he’s made it very clear that I control what we do bc he doesn’t want to pressure me into anything)

1

Anonymous #2 12h

Sexual thing 😐

1

Anonymous OP 11h

Maybe add things that’ll make the anxiety easy to deal with. For me, I find it hard to communicate while being face to face with a guy because eye contact makes me queasy. There are other ways to communicate, you can put it in writing, you can speak sitting back to back, you can ask him to only ask yes-no questions. I feel like if what you guys have is genuine, I’m sure he wouldn’t have any trouble accommodating you!

1

Anonymous #1 11h

He really doesn’t, and he’s pretty good at reading body language so he kinda knows when to slow down when we’re kissing. I’ll definitely try some of these! I really want to take that next step, I’m just so anxious and struggle with managing it bc I don’t know to handle it :(

1

Anonymous #3 11h

I do, like at first it was more of a ‘no’ type of nervous but now it’s just because I’ve never done anything and am worried about it. I get what you mean, he’s pretty good at knowing when to slow down or where to draw that line and I really appreciate it. Also totally get what you mean about not wanting to get detailed on here, some of the people on here are strange

1

Anonymous OP 11h

I totally get it. Anxiety can feel like this huge bundle with no space left to go. There’s also the medicinal route! Which probably isn’t the best advice but—it’s still an option!! Do you take anything for the anxiety?

1

Anonymous #1 11h

I don’t, I actually just found out recently I’ve been diagnosed for three years 😭😭 usually, I can manage alright with what I’ve learned in therapy but this is just a whole new scope that I have no idea how to cope with, luckily, my boyfriend is super understanding about it and isn’t trying to make me do anything. If he ever is doing something and I even HINT that I’m not fully comfortable, he’s already pulled away and moved on

1

Anonymous OP 11h

I gotcha. I just think you have anxiety around your performance more than the act? Time may hay help with that. I deal with similar “issues”.

1

Anonymous #3 11h

I probably do tbh

1