Anonymous #1 16w

Idk I feel like calling out the behavior directly never really works unless the person is self aware. I would just let her be, if you feel like it’s getting risky and she won’t hear your concerns I probably would keep a safe eye and distance quietly. I realized friends who do really risky things romantically or sexually stress me out and I don’t want to over invest myself or care if they don’t care

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Anonymous #1 16w

But like she’s been my best friend for like two years now. And she was never like this until last month when she was drunk and called me while my bf and I were trying to sleep, saying she wants to get railed bad. And I kinda blew it off bc she’s always been scared of guys. But now she’s downloaded tinder and is using it for dates AND hookups. And when I asked her why she’s doing this she just replied with “I was bored and wanted to know what it was like.” Which is completely fine…

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Anonymous OP 16w

BUT, she hooked up with another guy the night after the first and was like “I can’t have my last time having sex be a bad one.” So she hooked up with another guy and then said she was done until she told me she had hooked up with two more guys. I mean she’s going over to STL to see these guys and doing it in PARK OUTSIDE. Which worries me.

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Anonymous OP 16w

And when I mention something she’s like “Well I’m young once. I’ll find someone when I’m ready.” And that’s cool, but I’m more concerned with her driving to St. Louis at 1am until 3am… also that she doesn’t know these guys, she meets them on snap and then goes to them. And I’ve told her she’s going to get herself killed. She doesn’t know these dudes. They could be putting on a fake face over social media.

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Anonymous OP 16w

Okay that’s definitely concerning. Do you think there was anything that happened recently that caused that switch. I had a friend who was kinda doing risky stuff too (not to that extent) but she grew up super sheltered/nerdy and went on this glow up journey bc she felt insecure about being a virgin in her early 20s. Like her desire to glow up was kinda coming from wanting to fit in,in a way and I’m wondering if that resonates with your friend?

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Anonymous OP 16w

think a lot of ppl go through a stage where they hit 18-25 where they’re kinda trying to figure themselves out and they don’t always do it in a clean or neat way. Wondering if that’s her situation too?

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Anonymous #1 16w

Maybe? I mean, the only reason I could see it happening is bc her dad passed away… but that was two years ago and she was close with her dad, so I wouldn’t see any “daddy issues” and she even told me it’s not bc of that. She’s always been pretty, but idk if she’s kinda taking advantage of that now or what. And she’s was never really sheltered tbh. Also, she didn’t get it from her parents bc they were one and done’s. Hs sweethearts and married after college. She also tho works with older people.

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Anonymous OP 16w

So she’s gotten into drinking, weed, I found a vape in her bag the other day and I didn’t say anything bc it’s her body and not mine. And as long as she doesn’t hit it when I’m around, do what you want. I stay away from all of that and she knows that. So idk if it’s her older friends (21+) that are giving her those ideas, bc one told her to download tinder and she did. I’ve told her multiple times when you find someone you’ll know. But ig she doesn’t listen

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Anonymous OP 16w

Hmm I think without knowing the reason why it’s kinda hard to guage? Maybe it’s a validation thing? Even if someone is pretty some ppl still want that feeling of ppl wanting them even if it’s not healthy or safe

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Anonymous OP 16w

The driving late at night to be guys us the scary part esp in a big city like STL bc she could get hurt esp if she’s having sex under the influence

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Anonymous #1 16w

No exactly. I don’t think she’s driving drunk or anything, but I’m more worried that if she shows up and then decides to chicken out with the guy he might get aggressive and hurt her. OR, the fact that she’s done it in an open park TWICE… like if she gets caught she’s done.

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Anonymous OP 16w

Ugh I empathize with this so much but you’re a good friend for caring and looking out for her. Even if she’s not receptive you’re doing the right thing

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Anonymous OP 16w

As someone who is currently attending college in STL she needs to be careful. I don’t want to fear monger about STL but if you gotta be situationally aware

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Anonymous #1 16w

Is it Slu or WashU?? Bc she’s attending Slu in the fall which concerns me more bc I’ll be up in the middle of Illinois

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Anonymous #1 16w

And trust me… I’ve lived 15 mins from STL on the Illinois side of the river and I’ve seen how bad it gets.

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Anonymous OP 16w

I go to SLU too 🫣

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Anonymous OP 16w

The surrounding area is generally okay but since SLU is an open campus anyone can pass through and sometimes it can be risky. I used to stay out late sometimes with friends in buildings doing homework and just like talking and they started closing buildings early bc of robberies. Not to scare her or you but just be mindful

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Anonymous #1 16w

Yeah. I mean, I’m not allowed over in STL alone, and she’s going to be living on campus even tho it’s a 20 minute commute, so that worries me she’s gonna bring guys to her dorm all the time

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Anonymous OP 16w

Yeah I would honestly just keep an eye. Do you think she’d ever be open to like sharing her location or carrying like some sort of self defense thing in case?

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Anonymous OP 16w

Idk a lot of assaults happen freshmen year (I think they call it the danger zone or something??) just hoping she stays safe

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Anonymous #1 16w

It’s called the red zone my bad. It’s not just specific to freshen year it can happen anytime it’s just the assaults seem to escalate around like August-November

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If she does it in her dorm room. I’m fine with that. Idc. But doing it at public park is not okay.

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