Exactly.. And the moment I choose to start healing is when all my friends vanish and only people with ill intentions want to stick around but they’re not there for me so what’s the point. I want an excuse to not be in this traumatic ass home, I want to make memories, I want to feel alive. Even if it’s for brief moments, I want to forget all the never ending trauma that tries to changes every little aspect of who I show up as. It’s hard to fit in after that.