Anonymous #1 4w

yess. i actually had a good group of girls for a bit but then i got to a point where im like absolutely unable to mask anymore. once this happened im like this strange weirdo to them now even tho the whole group lowk got together bc of me (not in a cocky way, just mean i was friends w each individual and brought us all together). but its like damn where was that love yall had for me now just bc im a lil odd?!? 😭 like sometimes not even getting treated like a child or pet but sometimes some ogre

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Anonymous OP 4w

literally. it always devolves into some way to leave me out or make me feel bad enough to drop them volunarily. worst part is when i ask what’s up and everyone either lies and acts like they have no idea what i’m talking about, or they just straight up go “yeaaaaa well you’re nice but…… you know”

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Anonymous #1 4w

like i DON’T know 😭 what is wrong w me guys TWLL ME WHAT IM DOING

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Anonymous #1 4w

YES WTF WHY DO IS THERE LITERALLY LIKE A SCRIPT WITH THIS STUFF😭 literally exactly that!! & it’s not even like we’re being super rude or saying cruel shit or anything. like i could literally be so pure & wholesome and id still get that like knowing glances & the way they ignore me/just act weird themselves bc of me LMAO. like okay i get it im fidgeting maybe my face expressions aren’t on par bc im like just existing in the moment/convo, but idk why these freaking ppl act like we’re CRIMINAL👎🏻

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Anonymous #1 4w

RIGHT LIKE IK I CANT ASK EITHER LIKE U SAIF THEYD BE LIKE IDK WHAT UR TALKING ABT AS IF ITS NOT LIKE SLAPPING ME IN THE FACE CONSTANTLY 😭 just tell me so i can be aware maybe idk or at least just explain better if i cant hide certain things due to how challenging it is for me rn. like dawg maybe ur the one w the communication disorder IDK THO✋🏻

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Anonymous OP 4w

at this point i’m so used to it that i know within 5 minutes of meeting how i’m going to be treated. it sucks and it is very awkward and lonely at times, but i’ve gotten good at ignoring it

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Anonymous #1 4w

you’re so right i was just hoping it would be fine. and don’t get me wrong today was esp bad bc i had to rush & walk/jog 20 mins to a grad school meeting. so ik i was red, sweaty, huffin & puffin along w everything else. definitely bad at holding convos, but not like in a rude way at all. and that’s the first reaction i got to the v few ppl imma be working w for the next few years. YAYYYYYY. should’ve expected it tho too🥲

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Anonymous #1 4w

even the one student i was getting close to as friends in the department kinda like made me feel rlly excluded and weird and isolated when ik i let my full autistic freak fly when giving him a tour the past few days. LIKE DAMN OKAY TRAITOR 😭🫵🏻

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Anonymous OP 4w

first of all congrats on grad school!! second, i’m so sorry. i hope today was just awkward and off and everyone ends up being cool to work around.

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Anonymous OP 4w

HATEEEE. WHY DO THEY LET US GET COMFORTABLE AND THEN GET WEIRD 😭

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Anonymous #1 4w

sorry one more, but that’s why i’m kinda like feeling this abt girls bc just for rn my experiences like this has been mostly from girls, and as u can see from guys too. but like the one friend i was starting to make in my department just kinda followed the girls we were interacting with today, when he was much more accepting & fine w me when it was 1 on 1, bc it was like his way in too ig idek like brother we are scholars not teenagers 😔🥸

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Anonymous #1 4w

thank youuuu it’s a struggle lowk but thankfully getting my swaggy accommodations set up rn too😎 heck ya. and thankfully made a good schedule where i think i wont burn out yay!!! and i rlly hope so to or else idk what imma do w myself 😗 but thankfully today was general grad school stuff. tm is more specific w our own departments & i’ll be around the professors i rlly enjoy interacting w too (same school as undergrad #hatechange). so maybe maybe it’s just today (but im also kinda sweaty &scared

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Anonymous OP 4w

soooooo heavy on “we are scholars, not teenagers”

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Anonymous #1 4w

I DONT EVEN KNOW LIKE DUDE DONT DO THAT TO ME I THOUGHT I WAS FREEEEEE LIKE NOOO IM JUST THE LONER LOSER AGAIN WHEN ITS LITERALLY GRAD SCHOOL AAAHHHH GET ME OUT OF THIS PRISSOOONNN!!!

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Anonymous #1 4w

sigh ppl just can’t handle some goofy silly swag ig 🤓

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Anonymous OP 4w

literally like i’m in undergrad rn but i was SO happy to be done with highschool so i never had to feel like that again, and then college was the same. roommates my sophomore year basically bullied me into moving back with my parents 😭 i just go remotely rn while try to find somewhere i want to transfer to LIKE GET ME OUTTTT

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Anonymous #1 4w

i am lucky enough tho where i finally have a job where im not treated like a little freak, bc all my coworkers are also little freaks. and i am very appreciative of that at least

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Anonymous OP 4w

we’re gonna win one day girl

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Anonymous #1 4w

oh no girl i’m so sorry wtf i don’t understand how ppl can be so genuinely cruel & it seems to be so like accepted everywhere as long as ur not totally “normal” or some shit. like ya ig we don’t have feelings & ig we don’t need education & careers bc as long as they don’t feel a lil uncomfy (despite us always being uncomfy 24/7) then our lives not being totally miserable doesn’t matter at all😌 esp annoying in college when they’re like yay exclusivity and diversity. ew not like that tho🤩

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Anonymous #1 4w

i hope ur doing okay now. ik it’s weird bc imma stranger but genuinely if u ever need to talk my dms are always open!!! so freaking frustrating when literally nobody will ever even TRY to understand you & ur differences that will always effect ur life and it’s not even like a bad thing to begin w. feels so lonely being this ostracized person in a world where most of the ppl aren’t like me or maybe not as bad idk

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Anonymous #1 4w

omg i’m so happy to hear abt ur job!!! i was hoping to find my group of lil freaks & thought okay maybe this one random dude is also one or is chill w the tism but nahhh. you deserve comfort and happiness in ur environment girl not stupid ass fucking dumbass ppl who are bullies or just making u feel so different & left out in a negative way!! and yes we will win and we will be on top and the world will have to follow ND social rules…no correct sentences only jumbled messed up ones and its LAW

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Anonymous OP 4w

thank you!! i’m doing pretty good rn, trying to save for my own apartment w my 2 besties so i don’t have to feel that specific loneliness 25/8 anymore 💪💪 things are gonna look up for us both <33

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Anonymous OP 4w

hehehe jk w that ofc but imagine 😀

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Anonymous OP 4w

i wish the world went by ND social laws bc it’s so much clearer 😭 even when the straightforwardness does hurt my feelings

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Anonymous #1 4w

hellll yeahhh!!! look at u 🥹 so happy for u!!! having ur place & being w those who love & care for u will absolutely be amazing !!! just ofc in general as it would be for everyone but also bc it’s important for our literal overall health to not constantly feel this way ahh

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Anonymous #1 4w

TRUEEE. like yeah it might sting w straightforwardness but like i feel like an abomination all the time w the way ppl act towards me like it just makes me feel SICK AH

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Anonymous #3 4w

and that’s absolutely valid!! i completely understand if ppl are put off, but instead of just asking me about it and communicating that they just keep up like the micro movements and expressions and overall just how the treat me to the point i just feel like ill never be accepted or understood by anyone yk? like i believe most ND ppl would be very happy to have that dialogue, and while ofc i personally do not want to go back to masking tbh bc i do like myself, we will always try to at least not

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Anonymous #3 4w

cause any personal issues. like i mean if ur gonna be uncomfy w my constant stimming (esp in overwhelming & overstimulating environments) or maybe the way my expressions just naturally lay im just gonna be like ok be uncomfortable then bc i am too so we’re both in the same boat buddy LMFAO. but also just bc i know fs im not being rude, ofc i cannot say what ppl think, but ik im asking questions abt them to show im interested to learn, i try to smile even if it does look odd it’s definitely not

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Anonymous #3 4w

like a scowl or grimace. sometimes i could literally just be sitting silently looking at my own stuff & i can still feel that like tension & shift w ppl & being around my presence. ik a lot ofc is probably subconscious for them too bc we’re “different” and that can be like wtf for ppl lmao. but it’s just like idk it’s to the point where even in diverse spaces it’s like we still have to feel bad for making ppl feel that way simply bc we are existing around them when in reality were literally

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Anonymous #3 4w

dying @ higher rates in suicide bc these feelings are always going to around us. u don’t have to always be around us, but we will always have to be us and know that and experience these things every day. it’s so exhausting im sorry i don’t mean for all the replies it’s not on u AT ALL BTW!!! ur comment is very sweet and ily for it! & it’s actually how id just wish many more ppl would be. ur awesome and ty for being someone im sure ND ppl feel safe with too🤗🤩🥰

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Anonymous OP 4w

i do have adhd so i’m also nd (i think) so i get how it feels to have your brain work differently than the people’s around you. but i do think that most kind people do value people with autism’s authenticity once they get to know them and they take down the masks.

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Anonymous #3 4w

anyways just know that your way of being is loved and appreciated by many and honestly makes a lot of people feel more comfortable, especially if they’re neurodivergent as well <3

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Anonymous #3 4w

ooooo well duhhh ofc i knew u were cool u are ND😎 (jkk NT ppl are cool too…in their own silly way🤗). but yeah adhd is ND!! actually fun fact adhd & autism are very very similar ! they even have some genetic links or ties or whatever !! like autism runs in my fam, mom might be too, but she’s actually adhd & gave birth to me who couldn’t choose so ig i went w both? 💅 but also one more fact but adhd actually more often masks autism rather

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Anonymous #3 4w

than the other way around! i got recognized as adhd like solely before my masked autism literally just like stopped working hahah. now it’s like two annoying children fighting for their turn at on the xbox every day smh. but i rlly hope so!! i mean i do think most ppl are kind! i think i just have to accept it’ll be an unfortunate part of me from now on bc yeah i cant rlly mask, but i honestly dont even want to if i could. i am content with me, just wish more ppl weren’t subconsciously negative

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Anonymous #3 4w

aweee thank you so much :’) i hope i make ppl feel comfortable! unfortunately i am new in my process here & still learning a lot that i should’ve been taught very very young so these aren’t crippling issues. i do unfortunately get upset with ppl once i can genuinely sense & know that unique feeling of social rejection solely bc of my ND presence rather than like some absurdly wrong thing i did yk? besides sometimes i rlly do not realize im physically close, but always move the sec i realize

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Anonymous #3 4w

oooppe dw last part (seriously need some law placed on me specifically & how much i type bc i am so bad @ simple explanations). but besides the doom and gloom i keep letting myself fall into smh. i am very excited for what my life may look like from here on out just in the way where even if im not going to be as accepted like i may have been (& barely even was lol i had like 1 absolute pro masking year…ended this yr…she brocken). but that is absolutely ok. ik now i wont be truly happy otherwise!

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Anonymous OP 4w

yes omg rejection sensitivity with adhd is a bitch, honestly though when your life is filled with joy you stop caring so much. i hope you have a wonderful year!!!

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