Girl Talk on Yik Yak | I need some advice. I just found out that I am pregnant yesterday and I still haven’t accepted it. My boyfriend on the other hand has accepted it and is stressed but excited. I just don’t know what to do.

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Girl Talk 8w

I need some advice. I just found out that I am pregnant yesterday and I still haven’t accepted it. My boyfriend on the other hand has accepted it and is stressed but excited. I just don’t know what to do.

Anonymous 8w

Yeah first ask yourself honesty (forget bf and everyone else) do you want to be a parent right now? And if you do decide to have the baby it doesn’t mean you don’t get to have the things you wanted for yourself. Like a big wedding you can still have it but later than you originally planned which is okay because then you’ll give yourself more time to save up for one

Anonymous 8w

This is a college app, I assume you’re in your early 20s and baby your life has BARELY begun. Once you have this baby you will no longer be a girl or a woman, you’re a mother and it will become your entire life. Pleaseeeee consider an abortion, babies should be WANTED and PLANNED you don’t sound ready at all

Anonymous 8w

We were already planning on moving home to save some money. I was gonna use this time to work on myself because my mentality has gone downhill thanks to school. Now I feel like I don’t have time to work on myself. We also both wanted to live life a little bit first after graduating. We wanted to be making more money as well before having kids. I always dreamt of a big fancy wedding and then a pregnancy announcement where everyone is excited and I now don’t get to live out my 2 biggest dreams

Anonymous 8w

i would explore all the options available to you. i will say i agree, it sounds like you aren't ready to have/raise a kid. nobody is perfectly ready, but your mental health is already having difficulty, you're moving home, giving up two major dreams if you follow through, and lack the financial stability you wanted for yourself before having kids. kids & especially babies are already major mental, physical, and financial strains even with a strong support system. postpartum is extremely taxing

Anonymous 8w

That’s a lot… I can see realistically a couple of paths here: If you can get a lot of support from extended family or community or close friends who you trust in at least the early years of raising a child that would be more plausible in terms of feasibility while still working on yourself towards a place you’re more comfortable with If not… I don’t know what your comfort is with the idea of getting an abortion, but it might be something you should at least consider

Anonymous 8w

a lot of pol here seem to be stressing that you get an abortion. op, please know that that is ENTIRELY up to you. it's good to weigh all your options and know how your life will change with a baby and the responsibilities you will have to take on, but at the end of the day, if you want a baby, you should have it. if you don't, you shouldn't. ask yourself what you want for yourself and your future before you take your boyfriend or anyone else's opinions into account. wishing you the best

Anonymous

#2 8w

A lot of ppl whether they have a kid or not sometimes do small ceremony’s first and then go big later so there’s ways to go for a big wedding. Idk what you mean by “work on myself” because that can mean emotionally, physically but you can still do it while you’re pregnant. Like working out, therapy whatever you need to get mentally healthy it’s still available if you’re pregnant.

Anonymous

#2 8w

And with living a little with your bf you could do that too with planning. If you wanna travel somewhere I would do that within the next 6 months and go to the top place on your list. Or just have more date nights with your bf. Ik money might be a pain but living at home again will help and you may need to take up another job maybe work at your school. Most of the things you want can happen with planning you don’t need to give it all up just modify the goals!

Anonymous 8w

Idk, I’m pro choice but I don’t think I would be comfortable with myself getting an abortion in most cases, I think the stance on it politically is pretty separate from the comfort with it for yourself as an individual But yeah, if that’s something that OP is comfortable with for herself than that might be a good idea, and her boyfriend and her can have kids down the line still when they’re more ready There’s also the option of carrying to term and then giving the baby up for adoption

Anonymous 8w

We use protection but we had a mishap. We also talked all of this through before we started having sex because we knew it was a possibility. I just thought it would never be me.

Anonymous

#4 8w

even when everything went as perfectly as possible, never mind if you develop a birth complication. hospital birth copays are typically in the thousands. car seats are RARELY if ever bought used (difficult to guarantee it's never been in an accident. if it has you absolutely can not use it) and also incredibly expensive. baby registry can help with a lot depending on support but not a guarantee. if you decide you both want to work similar shift hours before the kid goes to school and don't have

Anonymous

#2 8w

If I was in your position personally I would go the abortion route. Only go through with it if you are willing to make adjustments and work really hard because I agree with everyone else’s comments your kid comes first and the things you want comes second (again you can get the things you want but not how you wanted it originally) You just have to be honest with yourself first

Anonymous

#4 8w

family willing to watch them every time, expect to either pay a babysitter or the equivalent of most people's rent in daycare fees. breastfeeding is obvs free but 1. not everyone has success with latching and/or production 2. you may need formula in some instances. at my workplace we manage donations for women and children. tiny tins of formula people originally paid $50 for. diaper packs at similar prices that babies go through like water.

Anonymous

#4 8w

with your current mental health, imagine having to wake up every few hours and hearing crying on the regular, with either of you (if you both stay together) having to get up and soothe the baby until it goes back to sleep. babies are time consuming and demand a lot from you, they're completely dependant on you. this isn't something to go along with if it isn't what you really want for yourself. kids are real humans who are going to be deeply affected by the way you raise them,

Anonymous

#4 8w

even and especially in the first two years of their life

Anonymous

#5 8w

Couldn’t have said it better

Anonymous

#7 8w

And also think about what you and your boyfriend’s family and community support looks like. If you want a kid but don’t feel totally ready sometimes a strong community can take enough of the pressure off that you can handle that, that’s the more traditional way of raising a kid anyway, but even then it is still a big commitment, just something that should be factored in when weighing options