Girl Talk on Yik Yak | my bf barely texts me but when we’re in-person it feels perfect. i’ve told him this before and he just doesn’t text like i do with little updates. i want to bring it up without sounding clingy. am i being anxious or what should i do?

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Girl Talk 14w

my bf barely texts me but when we’re in-person it feels perfect. i’ve told him this before and he just doesn’t text like i do with little updates. i want to bring it up without sounding clingy. am i being anxious or what should i do?

Anonymous 14w

I def think you have an anxious attachment style (aka you might be a little “clingy”). It’s something you should work on because it shouldn’t feel like the world is ending when you don’t get a text back - I’m saying this as someone with an AAS who has actively worked on it to better my life. At the same time, though, it’s good to be with someone who accepts and facilitates your attachment style. I don’t think either of you are in the wrong, but you might be a mismatch

Anonymous 14w

like yesterday i texted him at 8pm and 10pm. and i know he was busy and didn’t get home until 1am but he didn’t reply to me and no goodnight 😭 i feel so dumb for overthinking but why does it feel so bad

Anonymous 14w

Like, if the no-goodnight-text thing happened once in a while then it would be something for you to work on. But if it’s happening consistently then it’s either something yall need to work on together or potentially accept that you’re not right for each other. Def openly communicate w him bcos it could be that he rlly just doesn’t understand how important it is to you

Anonymous

#1 14w

My bf never posts on social media but we’d been together for like six months when I was like “honestly imma need you to post me. It feels like you’re ashamed of me” N he said “it’s not that at all, it’s just that I don’t post” N I said “I believe you that my insecurities are delusional, but they still exist, and there’s a simple and immediate bandaid which is to post me” And so he did. And I went to therapy to work on my insecurities 🤷‍♀️

Anonymous

#1 14w

i hate that i’m starting to feel myself get clingy because we agreed to try not to be codependent bc so many of our friends had relationships that ended from that 😭

Anonymous

#1 14w

not just that but he’s just dry when texting at all. he will pick up instantly if i call but i feel so annoying making short calls

Anonymous

OP 14w

If he doesn’t mind the calls then that might be a good compromise!! You can work on not feeling annoying because you logically know you’re not annoying him, and it’ll be much easier than trying to resolve dissonant communication styles

Anonymous

OP 14w

One thing ☝️I’ll say is that there’s nothing inherently wrong with codependency. It can be done healthily and correctly. I was telling my therapist my concerns about my bf and I being both codependent on each other and she said “well, neither of you are hurting from it so I’d call it interdependency instead of codependency”. She described it as basically what partnership is meant to be, especially for mentally ill and/or neurodivergent people (I’ll explain in the next commen

Anonymous

#1 14w

Actually I’m at work so I’ll respond in depth later if you want 😭 basically it’s okay to rely on your partner so long as they’re consistently reliable and you provide grace when they aren’t or can’t be, and you develop external coping mechanisms as well