Girl Talk on Yik Yak | I just got back from a self defense class and it reopened up a lot of wounds for me. Idk if what I experienced was as bad as I thought it was, and I feel like I should tell someone? Continued in comments (TW for mention of 🍇 and/or SA)

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Girl Talk 1d

I just got back from a self defense class and it reopened up a lot of wounds for me. Idk if what I experienced was as bad as I thought it was, and I feel like I should tell someone? Continued in comments (TW for mention of 🍇 and/or SA)

Anonymous 1d

(1) Being super reckless and inexperienced I hooked up with someone over the summer. We barely knew each other for a week and they seemed to like being rough over text/sexting. I thought I was into it. By the time they picked me up to do stuff in their car I was terrified and nervous as hell (it was like 10pm?). We did some oral and that was fun, but when it came to penetration is was painful. They were too rough too fast, but in the moment I thought it was supposed to hurt that bad

Anonymous

OP 1d

(2) even tho there were times I wanted to tap out and go home I just bared it. I rlly rlly wanted to leave but I heard it hurts at first, so maybe it will be good soon? They kinda checked up on me? I wasn’t the best communicator tho tbh. We had a safe word system (red, yellow, green) but everything was just too much and I could barely think about anything other than the pain

Anonymous

OP 1d

(3) Idk if I sounded like I was having a good time or if they mistook my tenseness/shakiness as pleasure, but I wish they checked up on me? Tho I was performing than actually being in the moment. It makes my recent sexual experience /w someone I trust so jarring. I didn’t know it shouldn’t hurt that bad. It shouldn’t leave me feeling so guilty and raw. I got reminded of this when we were talking about consent, and idk. I can’t help but think this is just my black and white thinking or

Anonymous

OP 1d

(4) me trying to find more reasons to be ‘traumatized’ where I wasn’t. Like sure I was genuinely deterred from penetration after that experience and left feeling like I did something wrong for not enjoying it or the soreness I felt afterwards, but they weren’t a bad person. Idk if they knew what I was feeling, but I wish I was checked up on more. Idk what to make of this experience other than a super bad hookup, but why does another part of me keep thinking about this moment when I think of SA/🍇